Trouble in Paradise
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Remember my Friday night vent?

My attorney has informed me that she's quitting.  I can't blame her, she's a friend of mine who was doing this on the cheap as a favor to me.  Neither of us expected my H to be quite so psycho, although I really have no excuse.  So now I have to hire a flamethrower, which will be incredibly expensive and I have no money.  Do banks give out loans for this stuff?

During his most recent e-mail rant to my then-attorney, he said he will not walk away with less than $40,000, and an addendum to the divorce agreement that I sign that says he tried to do everything in his power to save the marriage, but I was too selfish and too mentally ill to cooperate.  He also said he's moving back into the apartment whether I like it or not.

I have $750 in my checking account.  He knows this.  $40,000????  If he comes anywhere near this place I'm calling the police, but the thought of even laying eyes on him makes me hyperventilate.

these pretzels are making me thirsty.

Re: Remember my Friday night vent?

  • Does your friend have anyone she can refer you to? If you could find someone you know than maybe you could set up a payment plan?

    Sorry you're going through this SN.

  • Sorry your going through all of this :( As far as a loan from a bank....I work for a bank in the loan department. It seems from your post that you are not a home owner, right? You could possibly look into a personal loan, or personal line of credit, also known as an unsecure loan. Some banks offer them, some don't, but it's a way to get your cash rather quickly. I don't know how good the interest rates are....but it's something to look into.

    If you can't go that route.....possibly a credit card? Do you have anyone who could loan you the money? I know that's a lot to ask of anyone.....

    As far as your soon to be XH, he wants 40k?!?!! What makes him think he is entitled to 40k? Especially since you don't have it. Sorry, if you have posted a back story I didn't see it. 

    I hope everything works out. Good luck! 

    I wouldn't change a thing...it's all led me to you.
  • Ask any friends or family for recs.  My divorce lawyer was a little pricey at first but he agreed to take payments.  In the end, he wrote off a large portion of money I owed him.  I think it was because he was friends with my SIL's family. 

    He was super aggressive with my ex, nailed him to the wall just to get me out of the marriage.

    Until you are happy with who you are, you will never be happy with what you have.
  • It only costs a little to change the locks...I hope you do that ASAP! 
    image

    Are you united with the CCOKCs?

  • sometimes, some EAPs (employee assistance programs--through your employer) include *some* lawyer-cost-help...

     

  • Locks are already changed.

    I have an appointment tomorrow morning with a woman who has a reputation for being tough with her opponents and honest and fair with her clients.

    Thanks for the support, everyone.

    these pretzels are making me thirsty.
  • What a fuucking diick. What is he going to do with his precious addendum? Show it to prospective second wives so they'll know ahead of time what they are getting themselves into? Frame it and hang it in his office? Make a Facebook album?


     

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  • He's out of his mind, and no judge will agree to any of that crap. Stay strong Stevie. Put your retainer on a CC if you can, try to find one with no interest for a year or so, then it won't hurt so bad. Either way, it will be worth it.

    I can recommend my lawyer. My only problem was that she wasn't super responsive, but maybe they're all like that? (No offense) She did great things for my girlfriend in her divorce. She's a hardass for sure.

  • image8daysaweek:

    What a fuucking diick. What is he going to do with his precious addendum? Show it to prospective second wives so they'll know ahead of time what they are getting themselves into? Frame it and hang it in his office? Make a Facebook album?


     

    He's all about blame.  When we first split, he said there was no way he would cooperate with a divorce unless I got up in front of all our family and friends and confessed that the marriage failing was all my fault, that I was a terrible wife, that no man could have dealt with me and that he was a saint for trying.

    I wish I was making this up.

    these pretzels are making me thirsty.
  • imageStevieNix:
    image8daysaweek:

    What a fuucking diick. What is he going to do with his precious addendum? Show it to prospective second wives so they'll know ahead of time what they are getting themselves into? Frame it and hang it in his office? Make a Facebook album?


     

    He's all about blame.  When we first split, he said there was no way he would cooperate with a divorce unless I got up in front of all our family and friends and confessed that the marriage failing was all my fault, that I was a terrible wife, that no man could have dealt with me and that he was a saint for trying.

    I wish I was making this up.

    WTF? What a complete @ss.

    image "Evolutionary game theorists...ignoring beebees on the nest since 2005"
  • He's an a$$ and I hope you get a ball buster on retainer and they deliver.
  • Credit card?

    Legal Aid?

     

    f.k.a.= Derniermot
  • Look into legal aid.

    TBH, I am still paying off my divorce debt and I don't care. It was the best money ever spent. If you can get a low interest or 0% interest card, that is your best bet.

    I'd do anything to get away from him.

    Have you gone to the police and asked for a restraining order?

  • I now have a new attorney.  I met with her and retained her this morning and the papers are already filed.  She is going to have him served tomorrow and I'm a little freaked out about what his reaction will be.  I'm staying at a friend's this weekend, just in case.

    She said not to request a restraining order unless there is a threat of physical violence.  I guess a restraining order would put my divorce in domestic violence court, which she says is not where I want to be when it comes to the division of property.

    ETA:  I put the retainer on my credit card.  Yikes.

    these pretzels are making me thirsty.
  • imageStevieNix:

    I now have a new attorney.  I met with her and retained her this morning and the papers are already filed.  She is going to have him served tomorrow and I'm a little freaked out about what his reaction will be.  I'm staying at a friend's this weekend, just in case.

    She said not to request a restraining order unless there is a threat of physical violence.  I guess a restraining order would put my divorce in domestic violence court, which she says is not where I want to be when it comes to the division of property.

    ETA:  I put the retainer on my credit card.  Yikes.

    That is good to hear stevie.  I'm glad you're able to move forward on this and also that you are being smart taking care of yourself. 

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