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I just gave the baby a pacifer and feel like a horrible mom
Breastfeeding is killing me. He will eat on and off for up to 4 hours straight (eat for 10 min take break or short nap for a few min, then eat some more) We do this 3 times a day or so. Luckily when he eats late at night he will only do so for 20-30 min at a time. Right now though, it's 9:45am and I've been up since 6am feeding him on and off.
In addition I think after working with the lactation consultant at the hospital that I have fast let down. So when he eats he's unlatching and relatching a lot and choking on my milk and will spend much of the time screaming his head off...which is what he's been doing since 6am this morning.
I know the pediatrician said not to start him on a pacifier until at least 3 weeks and the lactation consultants basically say not to use one at all....but holy cow...I need a break! My nipples feel like they're going to fall off and a lot of the time when the baby cries during feeding, I cry right along with him because we're both so frustrated.
I just gave him his first pacifier and he's now been sucking on his pacifier for about 10 minutes happy as a clam and starting to doze off. I feel like crap. Is it horrible to give him a pacifier? When did you all start using them? How often or under what circumstances did your LO get a pacifier? I worry about my milk supply dwindling if I use it too much. Also if he was REALLY hungry he would still let me know, right? I don't want the pacifier to be a substitute for real hunger...just as a substitute for when he wants to suck and mommy needs a break!
Re: I just gave the baby a pacifer and feel like a horrible mom
You are not a horrible mom. You are a GOOD mom because you know when you need a break and when your frustration has reached a point that requires a new action. If he was really hungry he would not just take a pacifier and doze off... let him sleep for a bit, maybe pump so that your supply stays up and then when he wakes up try again.
If you are getting frustrated to tears, you need a break and he needs a break. Take a breath, a little nap, eat something yummy, drink some water and get ready to nurse him when he gets up.
You are a GOOD mom!
DO NOT FEEL BAD ABOUT IT!!! Yes, I'm yelling at you about feeling bad.
I gave T a pacifier after day 2 at home (so like day 5 of life). The pacifier is for comfort sucking. and yes, if he was REALLY hungry, he would not take the pacifier and he would still be letting you know with his signs that he was hungry (putting his hands near his face, rooting, etc).
I can't speak about your supply, but I'm pretty sure that it won't decrease with the pacifier use. As far as I know, BF is all about supply and demand. So as he evens out his eating, your supply will even out.
Hugs honey! You are doing great
I gave in at 3 weeks too and we were no where close to having BFing established (we are JUST now weaning off the darn nipple shield). You are not a bad mom. They need to suck and it helps them soothe. You cannot be a human pacifier!!!
ETA: we use the pacifier after she nurses if she still wants to suck and she sucks on one when she is falling asleep. It totally soothes her. My nipples looked beat up after a few weeks (and this was thru the shield) because she used them like a pacifier. It's ok to give yourself a break and let him suck it out. You are doing a great job
Of course you are not a bad mother! Babies have a need to suck, it's instinctive. There is a reason babies in NICUs are given pacifiers. Your pedi and your lc are being twatwaffles.
Don't worry, your baby will not take a pacifier if he's hungry any more than you'd be satisfied with a breath mint if you hadn't eaten in 6 hours. He knows the difference.
I, too, was afraid of the pacifier. I waited a week before I caved and gave a paci to DD. Best decision ever. In retrospect, I should have given her one from the beginning. Pacifiers are not evil.
You are an AWESOME mom for knowing what your baby needs. Pacifiers aren't bad at all in infancy. They're actually good for self soothing, to work on oral strength and to prevent SIDS. Some hospitals give them in the hospital during the hospital stay because of the correlation wtih SIDS. Pacifiers only aren't good when kids are over a year old. But until then, they're great tools!
At 5 days, I gave Adrian a pacifier. He wanted to nurse like 24 hours a day and I was afraid my nipples would fall off. It didn't impact feeding at all. In fact, he's nursing right now...certainly didn't impact for him.
You're the mama. You know what's best. Trust your instinct. You know what he needs!
Don't feel bad. You are a great mom. Like others have said sometimes you NEED to take a break. There is nothing wrong with that. I only made it for 6 weeks of BF, but I also was bad and didn't take that break. One of the boys was just so tiny that he had a hard time getting a good latch and basically destroyed my nipples.
I was mad when I came home one day and found my boys fast asleep with pacifiers my MIL had given them, but then realized that it really wasn't a bad thing. It kept them occupied while I pumped, and I didn't constantly have a kid on my breast.
Keep you the GREAT WORK mama!
I'm with everyone- you do what you had to do and it really isn't that big of a deal.
I just wanted to say keep up the good work. Breastfeeding is hard and it WILL get easier. I had bleeding, cracked nipples at first. It was sheer pain to start nursing when they were such a mess. I think James' mouth wasn't quite big enough at first- though my nips aren't even that big- so his latch wasn't great and it was so frustrating for me. Between frustration and discomfort, it would have been SO easy to quit.
But I kept at it, and finally after 6+ weeks, it felt normal and was wonderful. I still miss it. I wish I had pushed to actually nurse more at the beginning (and drank more water) because I think James was sometimes still hungry and my supply was never that great, so more nursing would have been beneficial. Even if it meant more pain and crying!
You can do it!!!!
we gave Eben a paci last week. He doesn't use it often but sometimes just needs to self soothe himself.
You are awesome Andrea and S is so lucky to have you as his mommy
Hang in there! Know that I'm right there with ya- having an outside baby is lots of work 
Like I said on FB try to hang in there! My experience was a lot like Erika's. I would dread nursing and cry while he nursed because I was in so much pain. I had told DH before Eli was born that I wanted to stick with it at least 6 weeks and not to let me quit. He was great about encouraging me one feeding at at time. Eventually one side started to feel better, then after 6 weeks I was pain free and we both were happy. Hang in there!
The aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware; joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware. -Henry Miller
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my experience was similar also. sheer pain, teeth gritting, eye watering, grunting pain. for longer than 6 weeks and still uncomfortable some days even now. C wouldn't take a pacifier until just recently, and would only suck on our fingers for comfort for weeks and weeks.
Sometimes our maternal instinct is more powerful and more accurate than medical advice.
My Wedding Bio! Not updated in a LONG time!
Jake blowing out the candle at Katie's coming home party
Katie Belle
Kristen, Chad, Jake, Katie & Sadie the Wonderdog, est. 6/17/06
Thanks so much ladies!! I love the support on this board!
We used it on and off today and I feel so much better! I was to the point where I was not always looking forward to the baby being awake because I knew he would just want to use me as a pacifier. Today I gave it to him a few times and I think we both feel better! I still worry that I won't know if he's truly hungry, but I think we'll figure it out. We had our first pediatrician appointment today and I talked to the DR about it and she assured me that it's perfectly fine to use one at this point.