~nyg&p~

You post below makes me think of this song. I bolded/italicized/underlined the parts I think you should pay attention to. The song is written from the perspective of a toxic guy who has a great girl in love with him. You deserve better and you aren't going to get it from him. I have a toxic ex who I had to get away from. I wasn't the OW but he was a horrible person and I was "so in love" and I hated myself when I was with him and it took a LONG time to get past it. But I did and my life is so much better without him. Please make the decision to walk away. It will only help you.

"Walk Away" by The Script

I don't know why she's with me
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me
If I was her, by now I would have left me
I would have walked away
But now I've broken away
Somehow instead she forgave me
She said a woman's got to do what she's got to do
Even if it means she denied herself the truth
Cause when you're in too deep you wake up when it's too late,
You've fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me

So walk away
(walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
So walk away
(walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays

She's standing in the heart of darkness
Saying I know you got a soul even though you're heartless
How could any woman in their right mind be so blind,
To find something this safe
Instead of walking with me she should have walked away

She finds color in the darkest places
She finds beauty in the saddest of faces
For such a clued in, headstrong city girl
Could've had the world but she's fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me

So walk away
(walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
So walk away
(walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays
(Oh, yeah)
But still she stays
(Oh, yeah)

I don't know why she's with me
I only brought her trouble since the day she met me
If I was her, by now I would have left me
I would have walked away

But you've fallen in love in the worst way
And if you don't go now then you'll stay
Cause I'll never let you leave, never let you breathe
Cause if you're looking for heaven, baby it sure as hell ain't me

So walk away
(walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
So walk away
(walk away)
Walk away, oh
Save yourself from the heartache, oh
Go now before it's too late
But still she stays

(Yeah)
But still she stays, eh
I'm saying walk away
Yeah
I'm saying walk away
(Save yourself from the heartache, go now before it's too late)
But still she stays
Still she stays
Yeah, she stays
She stays