Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Going through the divorce process, how do you ignore gossip and not let others bother you?
STBX is spreading rumors about me. My mom caught wind of them, and some of my friends have heard them. These friends have been in my life for awhile, but they're the kind that you only see a few times a year, kwim? I attempted to call them and talk about what is going on, but they aren't retuning my calls. It hurts to think they would "side" with STBX after how much he has hurt my son, and HE cheated on me. I wish I could show the world the proof I have on him and everything he has done to me. My stomach is turning over the thought of losing friends because of this.
Re: Going through the divorce process, how do you ignore gossip and not let others bother you?
I went through the same thing. There were rumors that I got pregnant on purpose to try and trap STBXH. Some of my friends believed them. Others knew they were BS.
The friends that believed those rumors and belived the lies coming out of STBXH and the OW's mouths... they eventually saw the truth and have come back and apologized to me. Right now, I am looking at those people very cautiously. Try and be the better person.
I made a post on FB to the effect of "I have heard a lot of rumors and half-truths about me recently. Please, come ask me about them before you believe them."
If I could give any advice, and I don't know if it's good or not, but I would say to just try to focus on positive things in your life. Focus on you and your son and try not to worry about anything your X is saying. I'm going through the same thing. My BFF of 15 years sided with STBXH and are throwing rumors out left and right. I personally stooped to the childish level and retaliated through texts, which is stupid, but I now realize that if I keep focused on making my life better, starting over, getting things in order, then you realize who your true friends are.
I've noticed a lot of my friends don't want to talk to me because they don't know how to address the divorce. It's not that we're not friends anymore, it's just a sensitive subject and no one really knows how to approach it. Everything gets better with time.
Good thoughts.
This! Focus on the people who do support you and ignore the rest.
This is not easy I know.
This takes practicing but it helps when you start to not take anything personally and ignore other people opinions. Everyone is going to have their own opinion based on their own belief system. What every they say or believe is about them and not you.
Try not to be so hard on yourself. Sometimes our own opinions are not necessarily true so we need to aim to think positive as much as we can. Just focus on what is important.
I had great friends....unfortunatley sh8tty family. I'm still dealing with it today, 3 years after my seperation and 4 months into a new marriage. I have finally decided to cut ties with them, even though they are family, I can't have toxic people in my life. The last month has been wonderful to tell you the truth. I echo what others have said, "they aren't true friends".
GL!
You know what I find very sad in my situation? I can see a clear line between the people who will be "my" friends and the people who will be "his" friends. I really can only think of one couple that I absolutely would be devastated to lost touch with totally. In some ways, that makes things better, as I don't have to worry about losing all my friends if they decided to side with him. But then it makes me sad that these people who I have considered my friends for the past many years are probably just throwaways.
Sorry...didn't mean to hijack your post. It's just a little bit eye opening to realize that my divorcing my husband will allow for a completely clean break and I could potentially never see him again once the dust settles. I guess that the fact that it will be so easy to divide myself completely from him says something about our relationship in the first place though.