Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Please help me wrap my head around this...
Before I begin my story/rant, I just want to clarify: 1) this is absolutely none of my business and I am 100% aware of that fact. I just get so CURIOUS (DH calls it nosy, whatevs) and I want to know what's going on; 2) none of you personally know my SIL (that I'm aware) so you can't say for sure, but you gals are good at reading people. So, ladies, help me figure this out...
Background, which I know I've b!tched about on here before: SIL is the same age as me. Our birthdays are only a month apart, so we're talking almost exact same age. The way DH tells it, she's always been spoiled and bratty, and turned out kinda lazy. So, she lives with her five year old daughter and baby daddy in MIL&FIL's basement (they all three share one room). They have lived there since SIL got pregnant, which baby daddy was just a boyfriend, minus the one year they tried to get an apartment and couldn't afford it without another couple living in the second bedroom. SIL and baby daddy both have a hard time keeping steady jobs, and anytime SIL has tried higher education she's given up halfway through the semester because she doesn't feel like doing the work.
About three years ago, baby daddy popped the question and him and SIL were engaged. Hooray. Since then, she's had several "wedding dates" but never actually booked a church or a reception place or anything. These dates have come and gone. She always told me it was because they didn't have money for deposits. I dont' know where the hell their money goes when they live rent free and are able to use gov't assistance for their kiddo, but whatev. I have a feeling its been faithfully invested in local bars, as baby daddy is determined to become a pool shark for a living (I seriously wish I were exaggerating). It actually came out recently that baby daddy makes more money than MIL...while living in their home, for free.
How did this information come out? SIL found out. She thought he made a certain amount of money. As it turns out, he's sending money to his mom and flat out lying to SIL about how much money he makes. She was telling DH and I this story and talking about how now she doesn't want to be with him anymore, but she just needs time to end it. Fair enough. We told her we support her.
This has been several months back.
SIL's facebook relationship status has said "Its complicated" instead of engaged for a little while now. However.....baby daddy is still living at the house. SIL and baby daddy are still together. I genuinely have no idea why. Whats worse is now SIL has taken it upon herself to treat baby daddy like a total bucket of sh!t....its seriously painful to go over there while they're both there because every sentence out of his mouth provokes a b!tchy, ranting, argument from SIL. The other day he couldn't even comment on how they have matching slippers without her starting a fight about it. I mean, seriously? He's done some sitty stuff, I guess, but nobody deserves to be treated like that.
I can be a little dense when it comes to figuring family, so as outsiders, who are probably wondering why the heck I took the time to type all this out when I'm aware its none of my business, what say ye? Why is he still living at my IL's when apparently nobody likes him? Why doesn't she break up with him if she knows she wants to? Why doesn't he break up with her if he's being treated like crap? Why are my IL's allowing him to stay there if nobody wants him there?
So confuzzled....
Re: Please help me wrap my head around this...
Cookie for reading it! I didn't realize it got so long.
Thanks for your answer, that would explain a lot...both why they're still together and why ILs allow this to continue...