Starting Over
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
::jaksmom::
How are things with Z? Did you have your talk with him yet? What did your counselor say?
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Re: ::jaksmom::
Things are pretty mute at the moment. I had only decided sunday/monday that this is the right step to make after this past weekend. My appt with my counselor is tuesday night at 6pm. I only answered his texts since tuesday and after wednesday night around 8 I have not heard from him nor have I tried communicating with him.
I would talk to him tell him what's up but rather get advice as to how to handle it. Any advice from yall would help too. He's one of those people that if I text him saying we need to talk later tonight and leave it at that, he'll spend the entire time between now and then picking himself part with things that he feels he has done wrong or try guessing as to what I need to talk to him about. This not only plucks my ever lasting nerve but makes me fell guilty.
No not entirely. He had just gotten back from Iowa visiting family for the holidays. As we were discussing this issue, it came out that he had dinner with a female that he use to work with. I had no prior knowledge he was going nor did he tell me about it while we were talking on the phone while he was gone. I didn't get an apology but a "Oh yeah I guess I should have told you". He doesn't know how to have a relationship because he hasn't really ever been in one. I'm exhausted from trying to spoon feed him a relationship because it always "He didn't know" or "Oh I guess I should have done this or that".
Oh, I'm really sorry... and I'm sure this doesn't help your trust issues at all. But it's better to end it now that you know this relationship isn't right for you. Keep your head up.
I guess I'm confused as to why you need to speak with your counselor before you break up with Z? It's your life to live, not your counselor's. You've thought this through, why not just rip the band-aid off now?
As far as advice on how to handle it, just be honest with him. Tell him the reasons you've told us. And instead of sending him a text saying that you need to talk to him tonight, why not just pick up the phone and call him tonight (if I remember correctly you may be kind of far away so an in-person conversation might not be possible)?
He's got to suspect that something's up if he's suddenly not really hearing from you.
I don't need or want her approval just advise on how to deliver the news to him. You would think he would suspect that something is up but he really is that clueless.
To answer this question and this adds to the question of how to tell him.. He has an apartment and I live at home. I have don't have privacy at my house but don't feel very comfortable with going to his place all alone to break up with him. He lives about 30 mins from me.
I would just tell him the truth over the phone. This way you can talk to your counselor about his reaction and how it made you feel, rather than how to break it off. I think she will be better for the after-conversation and not the before.
Tell him that Jak is the most important thing to you and you don't think he's the right person for you two. Or whatever else is the truth. It's not your job to make sure he doesn't tear himself apart . He's a big boy, he will be fine.
I agree. Just be truthful. I'm sure that's what your counselor will tell you. I also agree that she'll probably be more helpful about how to cope with whatever guilt or any other feelings that you may have afterwards. Not that you should feel guilty - but I know you mentioned that he's made you feel that way in the past. You should not feel guilty for doing what's best for you and your son.
I second this.
How long have you two been together?
I agree that breaking up with him over the phone is fine, it seems you making a bigger deal out of this then needed.
Since Aug. I probably am but I think it has to do with the guilt trips he's laid on me every time I've said I'm unhappy.
You just sumed it up perfectly!
yep. just call him and erase his # afterwards.