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So here's my latest issue with ExH
Wednesday night, I take the girls out to dinner with a good friend. Ava and Lily each eat something different. Lily isn't eating much of her dinner, I tell her she needs to at least eat half of her meal or she doesn't get anything later (we have issues with always wanting junk and not eating dinner...thanks Ex.)
Thursday early AM (read: 1 AM): Ava busts into my room proclaiming that Lily has "barfed all over her bed". Sweet. She indeed had. I text Ex (he works overnights) that Lily won't be going to school as she is sick. Ava is fine and will be going, etc. Thursday's are his days...on school days he picks them up from after-K care. He writes back that he can take Ava to school and just to call him when she's up.
I call at 7:30 AM and he says that he will take Ava and pick her up after school and bring her back to me. I'm all, "Hold up. Tonight is the start of your time with them."
Him: "But they are sick. You're seriously going to make me take them when they are sick."
Me: "THEY aren't sick. Lily is, but she hasn't gotten sick since 5 am and is resting. I'm sure by this afternoon she'll be a lot better"
Him: "Oh that's great. I'm sure Ava is next, and you'll make me take them and get [girlfriend], [girlfriend's daughter], and me all sick in the process."
Me: "I'm ending this conversation now."
So then later he calls me and I tell him that Lily is, in fact, better. He said he still can't believe I am "making him" take them when they are ill and how he would NEVER do that to me {he has...}
I still feel that parenting, even split parenting is still parenting and you don't get to pick and choose WHEN you get to care for your kids in our agreement. It's not my fault you chose to move in with your girlfriend and her daughter. He has a responsibility to care for his children as well.
This all frustrates me further because this is only the 2nd week on our new schedule where I have them the majority of the week, and he keeps them through the weekend. I had told him that I hoped he wouldn't be switching schedules again soon and I fear that he has gotten a taste of having them on the weekends and hates it. But I digress.
Anyway, am I wrong in thinking that just because she was sick that previous night...that doesn't change our arrangement?
Re: So here's my latest issue with ExH
That is some BULLSH.I.T
Your ex sucks.
You are correct in this situation.
Ugh, I know. It all just makes me feel like a HORRIBLE mom. Apparently Ava did get sick last night and it hurts my heart so bad to know I'm not the one taking care of her. I want to have complete control over the situation but I know damn well that it SHOULDN'T be that way. He shouldn't just get them when he wants them. He should parent when he is SUPPOSED to. Not when he wants to.
That's not how it works at all.
He basically told me this morning that I am the worst person ever and told me how Ava cried for me all night. Whether she did or not is irrelevant. They cry for him sometimes too. That's part of it. But I sure as f*ck don't tell him that.
And she apparently threw up all over the mini-blinds in her room. For that, I'm buying her a pony.
Agreed.
I also completely agree that one doesn't get to pick and choose when to be a parent. I am not there yet but I can't imagine NOT wanting to take my kids during my scheduled time just because they are sick. Of course as a mom it makes me want to be near them more when they are sick but still why would you not want to see your kids during your limited scheduled time with them.
That is so frustrating. I am sorry you are dealing with that.
Didn't you get the memo? All serious issues or illnesses are to be handled by you and you only. You are the parent and he is the babysitter, when he chooses. Those are your roles.
I love that she threw up on the mini-blinds!!!
Don't beat yourself up over not being there for her. He should be able to care for her when she's sick.
I like this way of thinking. That helps me feel a little better. I asked if I could talk to her and he wouldn't allow me. Sunday is a long ways away.
ditto the LOL at the pony comment.
Short and sweet - he is a douchelord, you are an amazing parent. He is selfish, you are awesome.
Does the GF and daughter live with him?
This.
You are 100% correct in this situation. If it's his night to have the girls, even if they are sick, it is his night. Doesn't make you a bad person, it makes him realize that a schedule is just that....a SCHEDULE. You did the right thing. Parenting comes with good times, and bad times....being sick is no fun for anyone. I'm sure he can handle it.
Make sure you post pictures of the pony! :P
Isn't he doing that to you by not taking them on his weekend? Isn't THAT making you take them? His logic is off on this one.
He sucks, you are right, and I hope she throws up on his girlfriend.
This is precisely what I was thinking. Also, it freaking sucks that someone would accuse their ex of "making" them take care of their own child. What an ass.
I, personally, would not trust my ex with my kids if they were sick because he doesn't have a nurturing or comforting bone in his body, but good for you for making yours step up and be a parent. I'm sorry he is such a jerk.
Oh, for the love! He sounds very selfish. I can't imagine telling my XH that he is "making" me take my child. I will gladly take my child (unless there is something I just can't get around) on the days I don't have him. Yes, I do have a social life, but my DS is more important. You are right in keeping the schedule intact. I know most moms want to take care of their kids when they are sick, but your XH needs to be a responsible parent and take care of his sick children.
There have been a couple of times since the separation that XH has tried to get me to watch our son on his days because of a snow day or sickness. The guy ALWAYS works and I have no idea why he can't work from home or take the day off to care for his child. I stood my ground and he found other resources (family). When we were married, 99% of the time I stayed at home with DS if he was sick or there was a snow day. My job wasn't as important as his was so he always HAD to go into work. I do have a college degree and have a good career. He would make me feel inferior because I didn't make as much money.
I'm sorry to keep going on about me. I guess I needed to get that off my chest! Good luck with the a**hole. You know this board will listen to you vent anytime.
I really hope I get to nut punch him someday.
I could die happy, having nut punched your ex husband.
Yeah that's right my name's Yauch!
For the win!
Ditto!!
I would buy your DD a pony too, for her wonderful puking aim!
"WAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! You mean I have to be a FATHER? No fair!!! I hate you!!" (((stomps away and pouts in the corner)))
Aren't little boys FUN?!?!?
Tell him it would be awesome if he actually acted older than the girls once in a while.