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Ok I Did it

I broke it off with Z and now feel worse than I already did about it. He is this sobbing mess right now. He said that he was starting to think I was the one but I sure fooled him. He said what I didn't know was that he has been hurt more times than he can count. He then forced me to answer questions as to why I can't be with him and what made me so unhappy being with him. He tried turning things around on me but I wouldn't let him and called him out on a few things. I told him that I was really sorry and that I really care about him but I finally just couldn't stick it out.

He is mad at me for not telling him sooner, like when I first started feeling this like in Oct. I explained I was in denial and was trying to force it to work thinking it was just me. I also explained I was trying to prove different than the other girls he dated after his friends wife gave me the warning while in NY to not hurt him like those girls.

Oh I feel like crying myself.

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Re: Ok I Did it

  • (((hugs)))

    Please try not to feel guilty about this. I know it's easier said than done, but you did what is best for you and DS. It's not your fault that Z isn't very good in relationships -- you stuck it out a lot longer than most, and hopefully he'll take something away from all of  this.

    You did the right thing, but i know it's not easy. Stay strong!

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    Pregnancy Ticker
  • ((hugs)) You did the right thing, even though it feels horrible right now.  Stay strong!
  • Lots of hugs headed out to you! I know its hard. Just know you are doing the right thing and as you know from your own experience, he will be ok. Definitely don't feel guilty about it - you have to do what is best and right for you and your son.
    **nestie formerly known as thegastons**
  • hugs for you! sorry they he took it so badly, but know that you did the right thing!
  • I know it sucks for now, but it will get better and you will feel so much better not having to force things to work. Also I think he's being a little overdramatic with the "hurt more times than he can count." Aren't you his only serious relationship since high school? We've all had break ups and moved on to live to tell the tale. So will he. 

    One thing I would suggest and others might disagree, but that if he tries to reach out "to talk" I'd nicely try not to engage. Something like "I think it's really important we have some space right now." I know it sounds really harsh, but in the end the cleaner the break, the better for all involved.

     

     

  • You did the right thing. He shouldn't call you out or make you feel bad...that is a serious character flaw, especially since it was a short lived romance. He sounds like he likes to play marytr

    Relax this weekend and then regroup.  

    sorry...stupid tab is not the best for nesting and formating.

  • Delete him and block him if necessary.  You did what you know is right, don't let him make you feel badly for it.  It's natual to feel a little guilty but don't take on what he's trying to put on you.
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  • :(

    I don't really have any words, just hugs. Take care of yourself and DS. :)

    The Nestie formerly known as dreamincitrus.
  • Good job!! don't feel bad over what he has said. You did what is best for you and your son! All I can think about is how you said he knocked your sons head into a granite table, ugh. If he tries to talk to you just ignore him, don't even say you need space, just SILENCE. That's the only thing that works with my ex. Even if I nicely tell him i need space he just keeps trying to talk to me, I learned my lesson there, now I just don't engage.
  • imageCarrotsMakeMeFat:

    You did the right thing. He shouldn't call you out or make you feel bad...that is a serious character flaw, especially since it was a short lived romance. He sounds like he likes to play marytr

    Relax this weekend and then regroup.  

    sorry...stupid tab is not the best for nesting and formating.

    Exactly... just because a relationship doesn't work doesn't mean someone has to be the bad guy... Your feelings changed and yes, while that might hurt him, it doesn't make you evil. It makes you human. Good for you for letting him go so he can find someone who will love him.

    Take care of yourself this weekend and don't talk to him if he tries to engage... give yourself some space.

  • *Hugs* You did the right thing. Sorry it didn't go as smoothly as it could.
    image BNOTB Awards
  • [[hugs]]

    We are here for you Left HugRight Hug

  • Sometimes you just don't know what's right until you really feel it in your gut. Don't feel guilty about telling him now instead of in October, because you just didn't know clearly then. 
  • imageachase123:
    Delete him and block him if necessary.  You did what you know is right, don't let him make you feel badly for it.  It's natual to feel a little guilty but don't take on what he's trying to put on you.

    Agreed. You did the right thing. Sorry it was hard but now you can discuss it with your counselor. 

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  • You did the right thing.  Please let whatever he says go in one ear and out the  other.  He sounds quite manipulative and needy.  Breaking up with someone that you know is not right for you and your family never ever makes you the bad guy.  It makes you smart.  You do not need to give give him an explanation as to why it didn't work out.  He just isn't the right match for you.  Time for him to accept it and move on. 
  • imagejaksmom8808:

    ... He then forced me to answer questions as to why I can't be with him and what made me so unhappy being with him. He tried turning things around on me...

     

    I don't know too much of your story (actually, any of your story, really) but I didn't have to read any more than this to know you did the absolute right thing. I'm sorry he's trying to manipulate you, but it sounds like you're standing strong. I agree with everyone else who said not to hesitate to block his number if need be.

     

    Good for you for seeing what's right for you and your son and doing it!

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  • Sorry, didn't read all the other replies (so I might be repeating), but just have to say that his response & reaction to this should help ensure you that you did the right thing.

    When you finally get to THAT relationship, you won't have to convince one another, certainly not yourself, that it's right & good & where you should be. 

    Good job Jakesmama.  

  • Left HugRight Hug  I'm sorry he took it so badly.  And you're definitely NOT the bad guy for breaking it off.  Kudos to you for doing what is right and what you needed to do!  Left HugRight Hug
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