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etiquette?

So, a friend from childhood has invited me to her wedding.  I haven't seen her in 5+ years other than passing and saying hello at a graduation party we both were invited to.  She's a friend on facebook, but we don't' even communicate via facebook either.  We were pals from church...not BFF slumber party pals.We never hung out much outside of church.  I am flattered that she included me.

So....her wedding is 4 1/2 hours away in a town neither are from or live in.  Because of previously scheduled vacation a week and a half later, DH can't get time off.  He could call in sick, but that would mean there and back in 24 hours, with a baby in tow, and finding childcare for the wedding part in a place no one knows anyone. On top of that, it's driving to the Adirondacks in February...who knows what the weather would entail if we could even go there and back in a day.

There's a part of me that would like to just send a gift and wish her all the best.  But there's a part of me that feels like I should make every effort to go because I was invited.

What are your thoughts?  I've been stewing over this for 2 weeks.

 

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Re: etiquette?

  • No question - send a gift and your best wishes!  I am sure they will sympathize with your situation (the baby, the 4.5 hour drive, the weather, your DH's work schedule...), if you wanted to include why you won't be attending in a card - of course, there's no need to do that, either. 
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  • Send her a card and call it a day. Send her a gift if you're feeling generous.

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  • imageMainelyFoolish:
    Send her a card and call it a day. Send her a gift if you're feeling generous.

    I agree, a card is enough in this case.

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  • imagelauram730:
    No question - send a gift and your best wishes!  I am sure they will sympathize with your situation (the baby, the 4.5 hour drive, the weather, your DH's work schedule...), if you wanted to include why you won't be attending in a card - of course, there's no need to do that, either. 

    I agree!

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  • I wouldn't go...and I wouldn't expect someone in the same situation to go if it was my wedding.  It's nice that she's inviting you, but I'm sure she'll understand.
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  • imageMA&CB:
    I wouldn't go...and I wouldn't expect someone in the same situation to go if it was my wedding.  It's nice that she's inviting you, but I'm sure she'll understand.
    Yes I agree completely.
  • imageMrsHahn11062010:

    imageMainelyFoolish:
    Send her a card and call it a day. Send her a gift if you're feeling generous.

    I agree, a card is enough in this case.

    Yes 

  • Don't go. Send a gift with a nice note.
  • imageMA&CB:
    I wouldn't go...and I wouldn't expect someone in the same situation to go if it was my wedding.  It's nice that she's inviting you, but I'm sure she'll understand.

    This.  100%. 

  • Definitely just send a gift and a nice note thanking her for inviting you, and don't feel bad!
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  • imagejgreg29:

    imageMA&CB:
    I wouldn't go...and I wouldn't expect someone in the same situation to go if it was my wedding.  It's nice that she's inviting you, but I'm sure she'll understand.

    This.  100%. 

    Exactly! 

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  • thank you so much for the consensus!  i don't feel guilty saying "no" anymore.  phew!  i should have asked you girls weeks ago.
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  • As the other girls already said, I'd say no. And, to make it easier, I'd just think about all the couples I have who invite a TON of people and admit to me that they hope X (huge) number say no or else they are over their occupancy allowance. It will also save them money not paying to food for people who really don't want to be there in the first place. I see people at weddings at the time that barely stay through the food and then leave and obviously weren't happy about being there in the first place. Do yourself a favor and politely say no and stay home! :-)
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