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Shocking News Yesterday
So, I need to get this off my chest since I can't tell anyone. Plus, I'm anoymous on this board. My XH and I have been divorced since the summer and our marriage was over a long time before that. We have a very amicable relationship and have a DS.
Anyway, I needed to get a couple things from his house (was our house that we built together) this weekend. He said it was fine for me to go over while he was gone (plus, I fed the cats). I still have the garage code. Anyway, I couldn't find some candle holders and opened the cabinets above the planning desk. I thought it was harmless enough. I never snoop if I'm there by myself (which is not often). I didn't think I was snooping, just thought that the candle holders might be in there. I then see laying on top of a pile of papers is an ultrasound. I thought for some reason it was my son's (although not sure why it would be there). I look, and it's has my XH's girlfriend's name on it from back in September. My heart starts to pound so hard and I begin to panic. They have been dating since the beginning of 2010. I called him and calmly told him what I found. He wasn't mad. He explained it and said that she lost the baby early, but it was hard for him to talk about. He never expected to have that conversation because no one else knows. He wasn't ready for another child, but was less ready to lose one. I was very happy with the way I handled it (better than when he told me about her and that he wanted her to meet DS) and I didn't even cry although I felt like I might. I needed to hold it together because I was on my way to pick up DS from his parents. He asked me to tell no one. I told him that I really wish I didn't know and that it was between the two of them. I also told him I'm sorry for his loss. No matter what the circumstances, that is hard on anyone. I can't imagine that if she was still pregnant, the affect that would have on our DS. We agreed that we should keep the residences separate from now on (Meaning I won't go over there by myself. Plus, he never comes to my place by himself anyway).
So, that was the icing on top of my weekend! I had two other small incidences. I was so ready for the weekend to be over!
I think my reaction to this whole situation was better because I'm continuing to move forward with everything and reality really is setting in more and more. I realize that my life is not what it used to be. Onwards and upwards!
Thanks for listening.:)
Re: Shocking News Yesterday
Wow, I'm impressed with your reaction and you did the right thing but staying in control while talking to him and on your way to get your son. I can imagine the feeling of being punched in the stomach when you first saw it. I'm sorry for their loss though.
I don't think there's any harm in letting out a little cry now that you're alone and had time to process. I'm just really glad to read that you're collected because things are getting easier for you.