"What are you doing?"

JoEsther · January 2012

Am I the only one who gets annoyed by people who call you and then ask you that first thing? My MIL asks it every time she calls and it really bugs me.

sapphireblue · January 2012

If it's just to start a conversational flow, that doesn't bug me.

If I say nothing big or watching TV, I don't like if then someone tries to push me to do something because in their mind what I told them I'm doing isn't important enough.

imoan · January 2012

Next time she does that, say "Well, I was just giving your son a blow job. He was thisclose to finishing... so can you maybe call back in 5 minutes?"

I have a feeling you'll no longer get that question again.

kjewell · January 2012

Both of my parents, everytime they call.

Doesn't bother me but usually I tell them H and I were having sex for fun.

wittyschaffy · January 2012

Doesn't bother me because we don't have a landline phone anymore so it is actually a legit question knowing we're on our cells. If the answer is "standing in line to check out at the grocery" or something, then they let me know they were just calling to chat and that they'll catch up with me later.

JoEsther · January 2012

wittyschaffy:
Doesn't bother me because we don't have a landline phone anymore so it is actually a legit question knowing we're on our cells. If the answer is "standing in line to check out at the grocery" or something, then they let me know they were just calling to chat and that they'll catch up with me later.

We only have a landline to allow those who buzz into our gated community access - no one has the number. We only work with cells as well. But it bugs me 'cause it feels like an intrusive question. My instinctive reply is, "None of your business!!" And no, I've never said it, but I always, always think it.

ungraceful13 · January 2012

I always ask it as a way to make sure I am not interrupting something. My family uses it the same way. "What you up to?" "Eating dinner." "Oh sorry. Give me a call back when you are done."

livinitup · January 2012

JoEsther:
wittyschaffy:
Doesn't bother me because we don't have a landline phone anymore so it is actually a legit question knowing we're on our cells. If the answer is "standing in line to check out at the grocery" or something, then they let me know they were just calling to chat and that they'll catch up with me later.
We only have a landline to allow those who buzz into our gated community access - no one has the number. We only work with cells as well. But it bugs me 'cause it feels like an intrusive question. My instinctive reply is, "None of your business!!" And no, I've never said it, but I always, always think it.

Does she expect a thorough account or is she just using it as an expression? My mother will say ask something like that and I'll just answer as a jumping-off point to the conversation.

Mom: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Nothing, this is a good time to chat. How are you?"

--

Mom: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Just ran DD's bath, can I call you tomorrow?"

--

Mom: "What are you doing?"

Me: "I'm swamped but I have a minute. What are you doing?"

I've never thought to give details.

JoEsther · January 2012

livinitup:
JoEsther:
wittyschaffy:
Doesn't bother me because we don't have a landline phone anymore so it is actually a legit question knowing we're on our cells. If the answer is "standing in line to check out at the grocery" or something, then they let me know they were just calling to chat and that they'll catch up with me later.
We only have a landline to allow those who buzz into our gated community access - no one has the number. We only work with cells as well. But it bugs me 'cause it feels like an intrusive question. My instinctive reply is, "None of your business!!" And no, I've never said it, but I always, always think it.

Does she expect a thorough account or is she just using it as an expression? My mother will say ask something like that and I'll just answer as a jumping-off point to the conversation.

Mom: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Nothing, this is a good time to chat. How are you?"

--

Mom: "What are you doing?"

Me: "Just ran DD's bath, can I call you tomorrow?"

--

Mom: "What are you doing?"

Me: "I'm swamped but I have a minute. What are you doing?"

I've never thought to give details.

You know, she *could* be using it as an expression. I can see where that would make sense. I suppose I've always had such a visceral reaction to it that I never really considered that. Hm. Thanks.

livinitup · January 2012

Maybe my mother is fishing for details. As her daughter, it's my natural reaction to deflect it effectively.

StatlerWaldorf · January 2012

ungraceful13:
I always ask it as a way to make sure I am not interrupting something. My family uses it the same way. "What you up to?" "Eating dinner." "Oh sorry. Give me a call back when you are done."

We always do this too.

IrishBrideND · January 2012

They are just trying to be polite and make sure they aren't bothering you. either that or they are just making conversation. Either way, you are reading too far into it. If you don't like the question just give an evasive answer. You don't have to be specific.

JoEsther · January 2012

I just reread this thread and I wanted to thank you guys for your inputs. Reading your points of view really showed me that I was overthinking and has been very helpful. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

melntaitt · January 2012

It only bugs me when my mother does this when she's on her way to work in the morning; problem is she's a few hours ahead and forgets that 8 am for her is 4 am for me... Smile

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