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Anyone have a parent with a progressive illness?
My dad has Parkinson's disease. He was diagnosed 11 years ago, and has been doing pretty well. He retired 5 years ago, spent some time traveling with my mom, gardening, small house projects(his hobby), etc. In the past 2 years, he's slowed down a lot. It takes him a lot longer to do stuff, he's tired and naps once or twice a day, his speech is slowing down a little. The holidays were really rough on him. Too much extended family time, too much commotion, not enough sleep, and he ended up getting really frustrated. He never expressed this to us(my brother, sister, and I), but my mom told us afterwards. The thing is, we don't know how to help my dad. We realize he is getting weaker and things are hard for him, so we try to help him out, but he's always been so independent and on his own, he gets really upset if we try to do something for him. An example: a tree in my parents' backyard needed trimming. DH and BIL offered to do it. My dad got all hurt because HE wanted to do it, even though it's dangerous for him to be up on a ladder(doctor's orders). So, he ends up feeling depressed, which doesn't help with his condition as there will be less and less stuff he will be able to do. My dad never actually expressed this, but I guess he told my mom and she relayed the message to me that dad's feelings were hurt. I just wish he would relax and let us handle things for him that hard for him now. I don't know what to do about him. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Re: Anyone have a parent with a progressive illness?
Is there medication he could take that would alleviate/help him?
So, with Parkinson's, he has been on increasing amounts of medication since he was diagnosed and has been able to manage pretty well. He's at the highest amount of dosage, so there's not really anything else the medication can do for him.
I am sorry your family is struggling with the challenges of Parkinsons. One thing that might help is attending support groups.
http://www.parkinson.org/Search-Pages/Search.aspx?pSearchOpt=Local
You find that speaking with other folks in the same situation, sharing their fears, frustrations, and tips for living can be comforting and uplifting.
Good luck.
Is he on an antidepressant? You may want to speak with his pharmacist, doctor, or his patient drug advocate to see if there is something that can help with the emotional aspect of losing independence.
I'm not in quite the same situation, but my father has stage IV cancer, and he's been getting progressively weaker. He's a woodworker (retired mechanical engineer) and there are days now where mom has to carry him up the stairs, and when we took our last family vacation together, he was in an electric scooter. It's not been easy for him, and it's not been easy on us.
I agree with talking with a social worker, and even looking at speaking with a therapist yourself- it can be emotionally taxing to watch your parents deteriorate.