Family Matters
JoEsther
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Wills/trusts?
DH and I have no children, and have no plans. I'll be 44 next month, so odds are low regardless. We have siblings with children on both sides, and are trying to figure out what we want to do in re inheritances. My father stressed that it's very important to do what we want to do, not what we think "is right" (in terms of expectations, etc) so I was curious; are any of you in a similar situation, and would you feel comfortable sharing your decision-making process?
Re: Wills/trusts?
DH and I will be writing our wills/trusts soon and have no intention of talking to anyone regarding who gets what. We would discuss with the people who we want to be the guardians of our child and the executor of our estate. Other than that, epople will find out what they get when we pass. If when we get older there are sentimental items (that seem like they would go to one person or another) we may consider telling who gets what of those items. In terms of money we'll keep that private.
We're dealing with this within DH's family regarding his grandma, who I get the feeling is wealthy. Grandma-in-law is rather old and MIL sometimes is like a vulture when she talks about the prospective inheritance. MIL has even had FIL talk to grandmother-in-law regarding "making up" for the amount my FIL/MIL did not receive because they were disinherited by FIL's brother. Makes DH and I super uncomfortable.
Since you don't have kids, there is no reason to discuss your finances with anyone. The kids would only make it someone else's business b/c you would have to choose guardians and spell out how you wanted the money to be spent re: the kids (how to allocate for the costs of educating them, the costs incurred with raising them).
When DH and I were married pre-kids, we left all of our money to each other, but if both of us died at the same time, DH left his $$ to his nieces and nephews equally, I left mine to my sisters. We didn't share this info with anyone.
Also, if you want someone other than dh (or on your behalf if dh passes or is not capable) to make medical decisions for you, you should spell that out.
Thanks for the clarification.
If DH or I pass, then all money and assets go to the living spouse. If we both pass at the same time then the money and assets would go in to a trust for the support of our minor child. We plan to name my sister and BIL and first guardians of the child with BIL as the trust executor.
If (God forbid) we all passed at the same time then some money would go to charity. The remaining money would be split equally amongst our siblings and parental units. We decided to just go even-Steven as it seemed the most logical and would cause the least "problems".
I encourage you to have your trust executor be someone not supporting your child. I have seen where it can become very easy for people to convince themselves that the money is being used for the child to live in a bigger house, etc. when it is really being used to benefit the guardians. That is not to say this will happen, but it is less likely if you have a third party acting as trustee that approves money withdrawls.