Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
xp -- suppressing baby fever ?
Our kids are finally getting to an easier stage and so I am looking at the little babies with a sense of wistful longing. DH and I have always been varying from 75-95% done. But I can't quite pull the trigger on either of us taking permanent BC steps. Lately we've both been more on the fence, both kind of "well, if you really wanted it, I would consider it." We don't feel that we would regret not having a third, it would just be what it is. And there are a LOT of cons against a third: tough on my body (6 mos of physical therapy after every birth), irritable uterus which thus far hasn't caused pre-term babies but easily could, prognosis of worse pg (fine with DD relatively speaking, PTL contractions (so on terb and modified bed rest) and almost unbearable edema with DS), age-related concerns (I'm 40 and it would be about a 4 year age-gap between my youngest and any new one), just gave away all our baby stuff, financial strain, DH travels frequently and I work FT in a stressful job so solo parenting is tough as it is, likely have to go through tubes and tonsillectomy with a third if the first 2 are any indication, loathe the thought of going through the sleeplessness and so on again, etc. Plus every time we ask DD if she wants another baby brother or sister, her response is unvarying -- "No. I just want DS."
Also, when I had DS, I remember standing in our bathroom holding him and thinking "we're done. our family is complete." which surprised me but felt very right. FWIW, I would be open to adopting another child too but DH isn't as on board with that.
So, for those of you who are done, normal to feel kind of wistful and have that baby fever again? Do you ever have some baby fever now and again?
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Re: xp -- suppressing baby fever ?
We're permanently done. Sometimes we say things like, "this will be the last time we ______" and it's sort of wistful, but no WAY do I think we need another kid.
Want to borrow mine? She's an instant cure for baby fever. She's SUCH a pain in the ass right now.
Yes,I'm smiling...I'm a marathoner!
Bloggy McBloggerson
CO Nestie Award Winner-Prettiest Brain-Back to Back!
2011 Bests
5K-22:49 10K-47:38 Half Mary-1:51:50
2012 Race Report
1/1-New Year's 5K-22:11
2/11-Sweetheart Classic 4-mile-29:49
3/24-Coulee Chase 5K-21:40
5/6-Colorado Marathon-4:08:30
5/28-Bolder Boulder 10K
Actually I usually just call my sister and hear the chaos and screaming and man, don't want that third as much...
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
Sometimes when I am packing up stuff Coop is already done with, I get that wistful tinge Tru mentioned, thinking that this part of it (whatever that was) is over for us. I just remind myself to really treasure it and soak it all in, because it won't happen again in our little family - it is just him and us and I am strong in that choice. We aren't spring chickens, and we want to concentrate the money train on the Cooper-town station (oh Keri, you just said that, oh dear,) and I feel guilty dividing my time betweent POTTER and Cooper, so I really don't think I would be great at parenting more than 1.
But it doesn't mean that I don't get gushy inside when I see the itty bitty babies. (I guess that I will just have to be a baby snatcher at GTGs - look out Deanne, I am moving in on your territory.)
Spirit of Power
Eat, Drink, and be Keri
For me, I hang out with my niece and get the cuteness in and then realize, I'm glad I get to hang out with her for a day but don't want to deal with the babyness/lack of sleep/all the work that it would require to have a third around all the time.
I tell DH all the time, I'm ready to be a grandma
All the fun, but none of the work!
This exactly LOL
I'm also at the now-or-never stage for a third, but DH is at the never stage. I'm slowly coming to terms with it - and neither of us has done anything permanent. Honestly, I sort of hoped that moving to MT, DH would just click and say, "yeah, let's have another" but I also am not sure I want my kids to be 4+ years apart and that's what we're looking at right now with DS#2 being over 3, so I'm coming to terms with looking at a permanent solution little by little. I honestly troll the adoption board and an adoption website b/c that might be more of an option for us next year and DH is more on board with that.
And AndreaLynn...you suck balls if you're STTN now! I can count on one hand the nights I have slept from 10pm to 6am in the last 4 weeks without one or the other kid getting up to bug me or try to crawl in my bed. I guess that's what I get for nursing in bed (co-sleeping) with my little ones...less uninterrupted sleep before 6-months and way too many interrupted nights now with a 3 and 5 yr old.
Are you united with the CCOKCs?