April 2010 Weddings
Dear Community,

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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Help...

Okay, I am almost exhausting myself over the decision of if, and in what capacity, I want to come back to work after the baby is born. My options of daycare are very limited. Basically, there is only one in-home that is even an option. I would trust her, as she is a distant cousin of Jeff and has been doing it for like 20 years, but she is usually at or almost at her capacity, which is 10. Meaning, she can have up to 10 kids at one time. I don't even know if she has room for my child, let alone what it would cost. I think she is pretty reasonable, though. I have heard around $150/week.

The main issue I have is...I don't have to come back to work. Financially, it would be tight at first, be we could make it work. Basically, I will come clean with how this would work.  Jeff's grandfather is very well off. As Jeff's dad passed away, Jeff will get 1/4 of assets, including land that is rented to a cousin to farm. That could happen tomorrow...or five years from now. Jeff's uncle has said that if I want to work from home part time or not work at all, that he will make it work. Basically, if we would need any emergency funds, they would be there.  Right now we don't have a house or a car payment anymore, as both have been paid off. Jeff makes decent money, but not incredible by any means. I also just make decent money right now.

I have tossed around the idea of hiring someone to come stay in the house with the baby, but then I would be working for about $5/hour after what I would pay the "nanny"...not smart.  I also have been bringing home a paycheck in some amount since I was 14 years old. I don't know if I could handle not having "my" money, if you know what I mean...

My ideal situation would be to work from home part time, just doing whatever they would allow me to do. There are many of my customers (I'm an insurance agent) that I know would prefer to work with me than someone new. I could set it up so that the same phone line that serves the office, would also be at my home. 99% of what I do could be done from home, but it is the walk-ins at the office that would be the problem. So they would have to hire someone to run this office during the day.

I am kind of rambling, but I have my review with my boss sometime this week (hopefully), and he told me that I need to have some direction on what I am going to do, which I understand as I am the only person in this office, so they need to figure out how to move forward.  If they tell me that I can't work from home, what should I do? What would you do? I am SO confused!!! 

*~~Danie~~*
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Re: Help...

  • It sounds like they're a lot of what if's, So I think you should first talk with Jeff's distant cousin just to see if she has any openings available just to keep that option open. Then when you talk to your boss tell him what your ideal situation is and that you understand the issue with walk-ins and see if he can help you come up with a solution, maybe one or two days you come into the office? And then when you have all the possible answers you should sit down and decide if you are really ready to quit working and stay at home. And remember if you decide to try and keep working and then you change your mind that is always okay too. I'm sure you could work it out to stay on until they found someone new.
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  • If I were in your shoes and they told me working from home was not an option, I would probably quit.  The cost of hiring someone to watch baby is just not worth it.  If you are concerned about having "your" money, could you get a different part-time job that would allow you to work from home or maybe some evenings/weekends?

    I'll be sending lots of vibes your way that they tell you that you can work from home!

    ~Melissa~
    Shmel's Blog
  • I agree with Mel the cost is usually not worth not having the time to spend with your baby. I am doing a "side job" as an independent contractor which I'm doing evenings and weekends. (Don't know if you saw my post about it a few months ago)  If you are interested in hearing what it is, as I don't want to go into detail here in case I'm not allowed, please feel free to message me on FB.
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  • I'm going to be blunt, but if I were you, I would stay home.  If you have a house and cars that are paid for, then pretty much everything else could be worked out.  Sure, it'll be a lifestyle change and you will sacrifice some things, but I know for DAM SURE that I would stay home if I can in a heartbeat.  I literally wouldn't even think about it for one minute.

    I don't know if that opinion helps at all, but the part time/work from home arrangement sounds great too!  You will make the right decision in the end, go with your gut.  As long as you do what is right for your new family, you cannot make a bad decision.  It'll be ok :)

     

  • yeah i pretty  much agree w/ PP - if you can do it - at least for a lil while - I would stay home and try and do some stuff on the side if you can.  Talk to Jeff and make sure you would get an "allowance" lol that is "your money" this way you won't have to ask him all the time (which is what I do w/ sami sometimes and I hate doing it!).

    Just a thought - a teacher friend of mine has a lot of friends who are stay at home moms - which sounds like a dream at first... until you hear them b*tch and moan about being home all day w/ Jr - cleaning - taking care of the baby - running errands - and then being expected to make dinner and CONTINUE taking care of Jr once daddy gets home as they are tired and stressed from being at work all day...  i'm not saying Jeff would EVER do anything like that - just something to keep in mind - it may not be all cotton candy and rainbows (lol tho in a perfect world it would be and i'd be home too lol) 

    good luck and don't' stress - things will work out for the best! 


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  • I totally understand where you are coming from, I've had a steady job since I was 15 and I can't imagine NOT having a job!  I would have an honest conversation with your boss about trying to work from home, and if it doesn't work out, so be it, at least you tried!  You could also work part time (like afternoons), so clients could still see you and daycare costs would be lower. Good luck with your meeting, hope you can't get some plans sorted out!
    ~Margaret (and Nick)~
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