How do you divide household chores?

dulcemariamar1 · January 2012

I was just wondering how you divide household chores. We pretty much split everything 50/50 but I am always the one who has to point out what needs to be done around the house. Can your DH see what needs to be done around the house and actually do it without being asked?

dorothyinAus · January 2012

We pretty much divide things on the basis of who likes to do the chore more, or who can do it better. I actually like to mop, and other chores that involve splashing water about, so I do the mopping and bathroom cleaning. DH notices the dust building up where I do not, so he dusts. He's better at wrestling the trash cans from behind the cubby to the curb, so he does that, while I am better at fitting the liner into the kitchen garbage can. He doesn't mind fighting off the flies/spiders, so he hangs the laundry and does the yard work. I'm obsessive about stacking the towels in the linen closet, so I do that. He vacuums because the noise makes my ears hurt.

I never really sat down to see if it's a 50/50 split, but we're happy with the division and it works for us. He doesn't really have to be reminded to do things as we have a schedule, but sometimes I have to remind him that things need to be done before xxx time.

NLfoodie · January 2012

We're both no neat freaks, but things bother me sooner than they bother him, so usually I start cleaning (mostly on weekends) and then DH will be like 'why aren't you having coffee with me' or something, I answer: because the kitchen is dirty and needs to be vacuumed and mopped and whatnot, to which he will realize that it isn't nice to just be sitting around doing nothing and he'll start doing some other chore. It works for us, as this way he does pull his weight. Generally speaking.

The difficult part for me to deal with is that he gets very easily distracted from chores. Last weekend, we were taking down all the Xmas decorations and we found something had 'almost' broken. DH said he could fix it, so when he walked into the garage I figured he'd put it somewhere he'd see it and he'd fix it somewhere in the next 11 months. Wrong. 2 hours later I had cleaned up/taken down EVERYTHING including vacuuming and what not and he came out of the garage all proud 'see, it works again'. (And then wondered how I'd cleaned everything up so fast, he seriously thought he'd been 10 minutes.)

myblueangel19 · January 2012

I cook, he cleans. On the rare occasion that he cooks, I do the dishes. I do the grocery shopping, so he usually does the shower and restroom. I do laundry and ironing, he does dusting and vacuuming. We both tidy up here and there and both take out the trash, clean up after the cat, and take out the recycling. Mostly we share or have our defined tasks. I HATE dishes and he sucks at cooking, so that one came naturally

kelly321 · January 2012

At the beginning we divided the chores up and have just stuck to that, although when one of us is going through a really stressful period (like the 1st semester of my MA when I also had 4 PT jobs and DH was unemployed) then one will take over some of the other's normal chores. Our split is:

Me: laundry, cooking, grocery shopping/meal planning, preparing the house for guests, mopping the hallway/stairwell of our apartment building when it's our turn (every 4 weeks), mail stuff (getting and sending packages from the post office), garden work other than mowing, cleaning windows, organizing trips. And now pretty much everything to do with DD (minding her during the day, feeding, changing, bathing, dressing, etc) unless he has the time

DH: Taking out trash, doing dishes, mowing, vacuuming, dusting, bathroom cleaning.

My list looks longer, but his involves more frequent chores that take longer. It seems pretty fair to us. Oh, and DH is the neat freak, which is how he ended up with the cleaning chores. He's never satisfied when I do them.

travelturtle · January 2012

My H does the dishes, changes light bulbs, takes out trash and brings things between our apt and the basement.

I do the rest unless I need him to do something specific and then I ask.

He doesn't really notice stuff and it drives me crazy. I have to tell him. He also get distracted easily, so I kind of have to be specific.

Last night I asked him to clear the toys off the floor, so he cleared most of the toys, but none of the balls or books or the sippy cup. Things like that. That's why it's better for him to have very concrete chores.

Publius · January 2012

He's way neater than I am. We used to have a pretty equitable distribution of household chores with him taking the ones he was most anal about like dusting (according to him, dusting hasn't been done properly unless you do everything including the walls. He can spend hours dusting whereas I wipe down visable surfaces and call it a day).

Our division's changed entirely since moving here though. I cook 75% of the time, do the dishes (ie throw them in the dishwasher and put them away later 75% of the time), and do all of the shopping and the laundry. Our cleaning lady does everything else.

sushisamba · January 2012

I think we're split fairly evenly. We have a cleaner come do all the heavy cleaning and laundry, so we just keep things tidy in between.

I cook and he cleans up afterwards. He does all the bills and budgeting, and I do the meal planning and (online) grocery shopping. We both tidy up as needed. He usually take the trash out.

He definitely doesn't need reminding, and is often the one giving me gentle nudges!

Val · January 2012

He makes hiw own schedule so it all depends if it's a busy period. If so, we do 50/50 together at weekends: one takes the bathroom, the other the kitchen, one hoovers, the other mops, etc.

If it's quiet he does 90% of it while I'm at work. As he then also cooks (and gets the food in) most nights, I usually do the dishes - with the help of the dishwasher though. The rule is that the cook doesn't wash up but I tend to clean as I cook anyway.

He always takes care of the trash and I always fold/put clothes away.

EnidFalcor · January 2012

We generally do as dorothy said, split by who is better at or hates less a certain chore.

DH vacuums, does dishes, sweeps.

I do more of the cooking, do laundry and do more of the dusting.

We alternate who has to do the bathroom.

azure_azure · January 2012

I do the majority of the housework and taking care of M, but I don't work and he is running his own business.

His jobs that I don't touch are the bathroom, toilet, mopping and garbage/recycling.

I pretty much do everything else and he will take it upon himself to to the dishes, take care of M or cook once in awhile.

For now this works well for us however if I ever get a job then we will divide the chores evenly.

glitterfart · January 2012

DH cleans the kitchen and bathrooms, and vacuums sometimes. I cook, do the laundry (which is a never-ending task) vacuum the stairs and the rest of the house as I see needed, which is more often than DH does. And I take care of DD. I guess I do more, but DH works and I?m just getting back into that.

ebartzen · January 2012

I do 99%, no 100%, of the chores in the house. For the first three years we lived together, I was unemployed (work permit issues), so I was happy to do the cooking and the cleaning. I actually enjoy doing these things, even cleaning (I'm a neat freak).

But in the past few months I've been working more and going to school, and come Monday I start working full time AND going to school. DH is not good with helping out. Things are going to get rough.

The last time I asked him to help hang the laundry, he said he didn't want to do it until tomorrow and it was my problem because I didn't want to leave wet clothes in the machine until the next evening. This resulted in me quietly hanging my clothes on the line and then throwing his wet clothes on top of him while he was in bed. It was satisfying and, of course, he got up and hung his clothes.

ETA: before I make my H sound like a total loser, I should add that he takes care of bills, insurance, plane tickets, trip planning, car maintenance, major purchase research...and lot of that other stuff. He's just not domestic.

ukyankee · January 2012

My DH is in charge of the dishes. That means I can't complain about them ever...even if he leaves them for a night. Cause he will do them. Plus he empties the dishwasher.

I am in charge of ironing, laundry and making sure the trash & recycling gets out on time.

And we have a cleaner who comes once a week, so I usually get us moving to straighten things up on Sunday night, but he'll do what I ask. And that's fine with me. The way I see it is that asking is fine as long as it gets done...nagging would drive me mad, but I don't have to do it.

allibally · January 2012

I do pretty much everything. He either worms his way out of stuff or does such a crappy job I have to redo it anyway. I do the dishes 90% of the time and have started having him do them on weekends. But last night I had to take care of a bunch of dishes because he complained how I need to do then. Something I was just going to work on today because if a rough Tuesday. House cleaning is mostly my job unless I literally tell him to do it. Sucks because I'll clean when I want to but he'll complain how things are dirty but never take action. I cook too. When we lived in Switzerland he would cook all the meals. Now because he commutes a hour I cook and he texts me so I can time it right.

PittPurple · January 2012

DH and I aren't particularly neat people so a lot of things get done by necessity - we'll have a mad dash around the flat cleaning everything when we have people round. We make sure to have people round often enough to keep it reasonable :-)

DH does all the cooking and I do the dishes (I hate cooking. a lot). I do 90% of the laundry, he does the recycling and garbage and bathroom. I do the trip planning and birthday presents etc. He deals with the UK bills.

Same as a lot of people - we kind of worked out what we each really hate to do and compromised that way. I have no idea what we're going to do when we have more than a 1-bedroom flat to keep on top of, we really aren't natural housekeepers at all.

dublin · January 2012

We have a cleaner come in once a week and it is money well spent!

My DH isn't a slob but he never, ever had to do a single cleaning chore when he was growing up (not even his room!). The man has never vacuumed in his entire life- really! His parents are really messy so it's as if he never learned how to clean or actually what should be cleaned!

Don't get me wrong he does help out around the house (we take turns with cooking, dishes and laundry) but if I said something like 'can you clean the bathtub?' he wouldn't even know what product to use!

bluegirl2006 · January 2012

My husband is disabled which severely limits what he can do but he does what he can because otherwise he feels useless. He handles our finances, does the grocery shopping (he has it delivered), and most nights he cooks and does the washing up (in his wheelchair - the kitchen is the only room in the house where he can use it - everywhere else he has to use a walking frame). Anytime he doesn't feel up to any of that I do it. And I do everything else. Easy peasy.

AmericanInOz · January 2012

i do pretty much everything, but I only work 3 days and he works long days and has a long commute

he is however, in charge of the pool and yard maintenance - I don't do that at all

and he cooks when he can - usually the BBQ - I don't touch that monster!

I consider that its fair because he has a very stressful long hours job, and I'm happy to take up most of the cleaning jobs at home so we can both live in a clean house

How do you divide household chores?

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