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s/o discussion: who will pay for college?
My parents did not pay for my college education. I know that my grandparents were both able to pay for most of my parents' education.
I got loans for my entire education and I'm going to be paying on them for a while.
That made me think - my parents got out of paying for college!! They both went on someone else' dime and didn't have any savings for me to go. There are 3 kids in my family and I'm the only one who went to a traditional 4 year college, yet I still have/had to pay for it myself.
I know that taking the loans out made me feel more responsible for my education. I did the math and realized how much each class was costing me. When I realized how much I was paying for each class (we're talking each time we meet, not each course) I never skipped. It was a lot and that was MY MONEY! I was going to milk it for all it was worth. And I did. I'm glad I did. I know that this won't be the case with everyone, but I think it did a lot for me to have to pay for my own education.
We have savings for the kids but I'm not sure if I want to pay for their college.
How bad of parents does that make us?
my education = i pay for it?
or
my responsibility to make sure my kids are educated
Re: s/o discussion: who will pay for college?
My parents never paid for mine or my sisters. I thank them for that. IMO its made me a little more responsible money wise. Even thought my parents didnt pay for it, my sister had a full ride for 1 year and I look back and she was probably a lot more irresponsible since it wasnt her dime. I'm guessing she would probably agree with me. While I will encourage that education, I don't I necessarily need to pay for it. it forced me to hold a job too clear through college.
My parents chipped in now and again if I ran short on money, something came up with car repairs etc., but definately didn't hand it over to me. I plan to do that same thing in that respect though.
We will pay for college for our kids. Both dh and I went with Academic scholarships (his full and mine partial) for tuition and our parents paid for the room and board And/or remaining tuition. We also both worked through college for all other expenses(clothes, vehicle, travel, etc..,) A college education with at least a bachelors degree is expected in our family, that's just us.
We fully expect our children to foot other expenses-car insurance, gas and repairs, cell phone bill, their wedding, etc... And we will not be assisting with an allowance for the above.
Fwiw, neither of us screwed around with attending classes or grades since the bill was ours if we got below a certain gpa. We also have a 529 in place that our family gives to for birthdays and Christmas, which cuts back drastically on unnecessary toys and gifts.
My parents set out telling me I was on my own. I wanted to go to Creighton, Drake or St. Thomas but after crunching the numbers (even with scholarships) I would be paying an insane amount. I chose a state school I didn't want to go to because of that. When it was all said and done they paid for all but one semester of my 4 years. I do appreciate it a lot and I feel that I got a really good education. Both UNK (where I started) and UNO (where I graduated) have really really good Poli Sci programs.
It certainly made it easier to take harder classes and intern for Sen. Hagel for an entire year making $250/month with them paying for my education.
On the other hand, Dan's parents didnt' pay for a dime of his. He had to work full time and ended up dropping out after 2 years because he couldn't keep it up. They paid for his sister's entire 4 years at an out of state school but that's neither here nor there.
All in all, I can see both sides. I think we'll likely take my parents approach that if you want to go to an expensive school, you're on your own. We have started a savings account for Evan that we contribute to and my parents put money in quite frequently as well. I don't want to do a 529 or anything b/c I feel that the money should be able to be used for college or a car or something else within reason when the time comes.
love is for every her, love is for every him, love is for everyone
We plan on paying for it, with our kids having jobs to pay for their extras. Also, we have talked about them paying if their gpa falls below a set mark.
We have friends who had a grade/pay scale which I thought was interesting as their kids have all gone to expensive private institutions. They did: 3.8-4.0- 100%paid for, 3.5-3.8- 95%, and so on. They basically told their kids that if they drop below a 2.5, plan on either paying 100% or coming home because they won't pay for it. I don't know that I will be that precise, but I think it is an interesting idea.
I don't plan on paying for my kids education. I think if you have the money that's great, but I wouldn't save for it or spend every penny to make it happen. I had to take out loans for my college and I agree that I felt like it was my money. I still would skip classes but I didn't feel bad if I had to retake a class because I knew I wasn't wasting my parent's money.
My parents told us early on we had to pay for our own car, insurance, and college and they would help when needed. I think my brothers and I have a really good work ethic because of this. We all started working young and were still involved in sports.
DH and I have no plans or expectations to foot 100% of the bill. We did open a 529 recently at her grandparents' request and we add any money that is gifted to her. I was leary about opening a 529 because I won't force my child to obatin a college degree but since its transferrable to another child or a parent hopefully someone will use it! We, ourselves, will not be contributing regularly until we have maxed out our retirement and paid off our own debt (we both paid for our own college educations).
So in short, we will do what we can but we won't be taking out astronomical loans to pay for our child's college education. Footing part of the bill definitely instills some educational accountability in the child and college is so expensive now that kids really need to consider what their earning potential will be with the degree they choose to pursue before they choose an outrageously expensive college to attend.
We will help our kids with college.
IL's paid for dh's college in full, I received a set amount from my grandparents to help with college, my parents contributed nothing monatary (they provided a roof over my head for a couple months my last year, I think I still paid them what I could afford, like $100/month or something like that). Neither of us had to take loans out.
I want our kids to know responsibility, but not have to stress and worry about money like I had to right out of high school/college.
I did the same thing, and I might be paying for my own education until my kids are college-aged. I have no problem saying "You want to go to a better college, you work hard in high school and earn scholarships, and you take out loans to pay for the rest."
H has a GI Bill benefit that might be transferable as well, but I'd rather he use that to get himself educated.
My parents made me move out as soon as I graduated high school, which was 17. I worked two jobs, PLUS a work study and took classes at a community college, but after a year I dropped out, it was too hard to try and work enough to pay my rent at a dump apartment and buy groceries, etc and try and take classes. it was either drop out or live in my car. They never saved a dime for us to go to school and never felt sorry for it. Because of this, I'm 26 years old and still in college part time trying to finish a bachelors degree and I have some loans.
I will be saving money for my child's education, but not 100%. I want them to try their hardest to obtain scholarships, and we will put in as much money as we can, I dont ever want my kids to have to make the same choice I had to make. But I want them to have to understand that their college tuition isn't free, and it's expensive, I don't doubt that at some point they may have to take out a loan but we will try our hardest to help them as much as possible.
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We have 529's and coverdell accounts set up for the kiddos and plan to help them with college, but have no intention of paying for all of it even if we could. DH received some money from his parents and grandma but basically worked his butt off all summer to pay the next year. My parents paid 1/2 of my first 2 years and I took out loans for the other half- my junior and senior years I received full scholarships and then for grad school I paid about 1/2 on my own as I went and took out loans for the rest. Luckily DH had been working by the time I was done with grad school so we paid all my loans off right away.
I would like to be able to maybe pay 1/2 of their college, or room/board, some parts but I really believe that when kids have to pay for it they take greater ownership and pride in doing well. And I think it helps teach them responsibility. Plus, with the high cost of college right now, not sure I could afford to pay for all of it even with the savings we are doing now!
Neither my H nor I had much financial help from our parents going to college besides paying for car insurance, and throwing a little bit of money here or there at us to help with groceries, etc. And we both went to the same private (expensive!) school so we will continue to pay on loans for the next 15 years or so.
Both he and I worked through-out and played sports in college, it was definitely not easy! But I have the same mentality that others have, I went to class because that was my money going down the drain if I didn't! When I got out of college and realized that a real job is around 40 hours a week instead of my running around like crazy between school, track and work and barely sleeping, it was amazing to have free time!!
Great topic, NJH! I don't think it makes you guys bad parents to make your children pay for at least part of their education, via scholarship or jobs. As you said, having a loan or investment on your part made you more responsible for the outcome.
When I was in middle/high school I saw my older siblings working their way through college. So I knew if there was no money for them, there certainly wasn't going to be any for me when the time came around. I funded my education and living expenses entirely on scholarships part time jobs. Sometimes my siblings took a semester off here or there if tuition could not be scraped together--but they always went back and we all ended up graduating and now have good jobs. My mom did help us out with groceries whenever she could which was a huge help.
In hindsight, i didn't know any different, so probably wasn't any more stressed out than other college kids. It's just how it was. It made me appreciate the value of a dollar--I'm a big saver and don't like to buy stuff until i have the money in the bank. I was debt free when I finally graduated and like jln I was so excited to learn that a normal job was only 40 hrs a week and I had actual free time at night! A couple of my friends were very stressed in their first jobs right out of college and were also waitressing to supplement their income to pay back loans. I guess everyone gets there in the end, hopefully...just different paths.
If we are able to... yes.
Right now my main goal is making sure we are okay in retirement. It is my goal to have the house paid off by the time oldest is 16.
I didn?t piss away the advantage (like I see my niece doing right now). Graduated in 4 years, always had some job while I was there, didn?t get in too much trouble and held a 3.5.
I think it depends on the kid. My kids will know that their education can be paid for, if they respect the experience. It can be taken away just as easily. We?ll set up grade guidelines when the time comes.
thanks to jennied
I think this is the most interesting sentence in this thread.
Do most people feel this way? Perhaps a s/o thread should be started. . .
Same with me. My parents are very educated and 100% expected me to earn at least a bachelor's, which I did. They paid (both tuition and living expenses), although I paid for my master's. The college experience was so important to me and I got so much out of it that I want the same for my kids. If my kids have other plans, (a trade school, the military, etc.) we'll cross that bridge when necessary. I would prefer a 4-year college degree, but I want to be supportive of their plans and goals even if they don't fit my ideals.
I do. I think a poll would be good.
Yes, that's, more or less, what I'm wondering:
If your kid has aspirations to be a plumber or join the military, will you be supportive and/or pay for a trade school, etc.?
Story: My mom went off to college and found she loved studying Geology. She called her parents one night and said that she thought she found her major: Geology. They said, "Absolutely not; if you want us to continue to pay for your college you need a 'real' degree - why don't you study business or be a teacher, like your sister." So, she studied Business and has never really, truly enjoyed her career path. Because of that, she has always told me to go do whatever made me happy. I have always loved her for that.
I think so. Even though I love the idea of my kid(s) attending a 4-year-college/university, I would be willing to let that go if that meant something else would lead to their happiness and success. I think I'd still do a few college visits just to make sure they understand the ins and outs and every angle of their decision.
Hopefully we will be at a place where we can help out a lot with college expenses, but we are not just going to pay for it all. I had a full ride to Creighton and my DH took out student loans for UNO, so I know that college is do-able without parents money. We will probably pay for things like cell phone, car etc. My parents helped me out with gas/spending money my first few years.
I didn't have any of my college education paid for. I think that had a lot to do with me applying for the Fulbright that I have---I knew that if I wanted to get the education and experience I wanted, I had to pay for it.. That State Dept grant sure help
In my case, my parents could not afford to help...as a result, I will be paying for quite awhile, I am sure...I am fine with it. I went to Wesleyan and I wouldn't trade my experience for the world--I lived in Russia, I studied with great professors, they helped push me to apply for the Fulbright when I totally wouldn't have on my own--I KNOW that I would not have gotten that experience at UNL or another school. I needed the personal relationship with professors, the atmosphere at Wesleyan...that was proven to me when I went to grad school at UNL and hated it...to the point that, with just a thesis left, I quit my MA program. I worked in school, I had a kid while a senior (junior, as I graduated in three years), and three total in grad school and I think I had a great experience and learned valuable things from funding it myself.
My husband was responsible for his education and like KMS's husband, dropped out while working/going to school. He is now completing his degree at the age of 30...and that's ok.
We won't be paying for college for the kids. We will offer to let them live at home and we will help them out. We will support them in anything they do whether that be a trade school--a plumber, a beautician, etc or a world traveling historian---we do not care. I'm highly educated and really don't want to push my kids into that if that isn't what they want.
Wow! I never really talked to many people about how they funded college. I had no clue that there are lots of families who are able to help pay for college. This kind of makes me a little miffed at my parents for not having to pay for their college yet not doing anything to help me pay for mine. Heck - the first year I went to school my dad didn't file taxes so I wasn't able go the FAFSA route so I had to get a private loan through Wells Fargo which is $$$$$. My dad said he was doing his taxes online and then the computer went to hell and he filed for an extension and yadda yadda yadda.... Nancy got screwed.
Pretty much this. Our plan is to save money for future kids assuming we are doing ok with our own retirement/other savings.
H's scholarships paid for his school and I had some scholarships but mostly had to take out SLs.
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