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Okay, how about this: sexual harassment
This post on ML (http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/62153807.aspx) made me wonder about the way women respond to sexual harassment.
This is the second post in a few months in which a person on that board was sexually harassed and wasn't sure if they should report it, out of fear of retaliation. In the first post, the OP was urged to report the behavior of her co-worker, and she did. In this post, the offender is also the president and a co-owner of the company, and the responses are very different. I understand the rationale for many of the "don't report it just yet" responses is that the behavior has stopped (at least for now), but it got me wondering about whether this really points to the larger problem of sexual harassment.
It stands to reason that women are more cautious about reporting sexual harassment when the offender is in a position of power...which seems to imply that with power comes a release of some of the deterrents to such behavior. So I'm wondering if on the grand scale, not reporting bosses for harassment leads to a societal norm in which they aren't held accountable for bad behavior and take more liberties than they should, continuing the cycle of harassment.
WDRET?
Re: Okay, how about this: sexual harassment
I can't imagine ever reporting the first incident unless it was crazy out of bounds--physical touching or very blatant verbal. I wouldn't report this. She said something vaguely inappropriate; he responded inappropriately; she expressed that she found it inappropriate; he apologized repeatedly.
I'm sure that it's true that most people are more reluctant to report it if the person holds a high position. It sucks, but being a boss insulates people from a wide range of consequences.
In this situation, I feel as if she did report it. She confronted him about it, and told her boss. Sure the boss wants her to "officially" report it, but I think that could be pushing it too far.
The other situation was different in that the guy was pretty aggressive about it. This time, the guy apologized and has totally changed his behavior around her. I think this one is a case of a guy that has been patted on the back for so long, he lost his sense. She snapped him out of it.
If and when he does anything else, report him immediately, of course. But, if he realizes he was being an ass, I don't see the need to continue on with it.
Oh, just to be clear, I wouldn't report this incident at this time either. I would the next time something was said, though.
I'm mostly interested in how different the responses were. In the first post (I wish I had a link to it), it was also the first time, but everyone was all fired-up, to convince the OP to report. This time around, everyone's taking a much more "wait and see" approach. I'm sure it has to do with the position the guy has, and I wonder what greater impact that has on harassment in the workplace in general.
2013 Calendars and More!
Yeah, I don't think this two situations even compare.
Husbands should be like Kleenex: Soft, strong, and disposable.
This guy may have just simply been around people most of this life who never spoke up, then as he rose in the ranks, he's NOW in a position where (to your end) people don't speak up for fear of his position.
But - all along, people have found him rude and inappropriate.
Now that the poster said "boo" to him, it might, just might, make him realize his sense of humor isn't always appropriate.
I DO believe people can change. He might really jsut be a total a$$hole and the change is only temporary, OR he might take her reaction seriously and start thinking a little more about how he comes across to people...
Who knows. But I feel like giving him that chance to make a change is fair.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Okay, I found the other post I was talking to. It wasn't a coworker, but a consultant. And she was worried that the situation would affect her working on this project. http://community.thenest.com/cs/ks/forums/thread/59781439.aspx
Mo, I think context matters a lot. Flirting is one thing, but when someone at my college restaurant job told me he'd work faster if I got "under the sink and relieved his tension," I did not take it lightly at all.
2013 Calendars and More!
I'm pretty much with mo on this. Obviously if you ask for it to stop and it doesn't it's a problem or if it really interferes with getting your work done or is physical. meh.
My group is all women. We get pretty carried away with what some may consider inappropriate work conversation. Sure, it isn't toward another person, but I am sure some would consider some of our topics offensive. I guess my point is, know your audience.
I don't naturally flirt with anybody. I don't like being commented on (appearance) or touched (not a big hugger). So, it would piss me off if a dude at work did anything of the sort. That said, unless I felt it really crossed the line, I wouldn't say $hit to anybody. If it was a continuing problem, initiated by a person of power or not, I would just document, document, document.
These situations aren't comparable at all.
But even in the consultant one, my first step would have been to call the asshat out on it.