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ok, I know she's little but...
any advice/tips on how I could maybe move bedtime up? Ada is ready to party until about 2am...sometimes she'll catnap a tiny bit from 10/11pm to 1/2am, but she won't go down any earlier...and generally is up at 4 or 5 to nurse...then back down for 3-4 hours after that...I feel like we're back to the beginning here. For a while she slept 12am to 5 or 6 am...but it's been this new schedule for like three weeks and I'm going nuts. I'm so exhausted if I get up at a normal time, otherwise I sleep til 11 and get depressed that I slept all day.
I don't know what to do as I've heard a well rested baby sleeps better so I don't want to disrupt naps or something. She really doesn't nap at all past 2pm, she will just cat nap for like 20-30 min and then be up and either fussy or just wanting to play until "bedtime".
Thoughts? Is it too early to try a bath/book routine to try to soothe her to sleep? Should I turn off all the lights in the house? Should I try to shorten her morning naps (she mostly sleeps for 2 hours then plays for an hour until 2 or 3pm most days)?
I'm sure you'll all just say she's too young and to just wait it out...and I know that it will change/get better...I just miss my husband - we sleep in shifts as he goes to bed at 10:30 and gets up at 5:30am. ugh.
Re: ok, I know she's little but...
I'm sorry. I have no real advice.
When L was that age, he was in bed for the night by 10 or 11, because that's when we went to bed. And he slept until 7ish. We started the bath, book, bottle routine once his cord fell off....I'm thinking it was around 2 months. I think he was around 9 months when he started being in bed by 9. But I always rocked him to sleep too during his bottle. He's just now started to soothe himself to sleep at night. I put him in his big boy bed at 8:45, tell him night night, turn on his pal Scout for 10 minutes, and he's asleep by 9.
I'm reading "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" right now and it's been so informative already (and I've only had it since this morning). They say you can start routines as early as 6 weeks - so go for it! The biggest thing is looking for "drowsy signs" (things like yawning, eyes becoming unfocused, disinterested in surroundings, etc.) and use those cues to start soothing her to sleep.
I wouldn't touch her naps - sleep begets sleep! So many things I've read have said that a very common mistake is thinking baby needs to be awake more in order to sleep more.
Eli was exactly the same way. I would go to sleep around 9 or so and Justin would watch him until around midnight. At that point, I would feed him and he would finally go to sleep and then Justin would go to bed, and I would be with him the rest of the night and then he would sleep on and off, just to wake up for feedings.
I think we started a night time routine around 10 weeks or so? I followed the Baby Whisperer's suggestion of the EASY plan, so I started feeding him around 730 or so, then he would have a bath, diaper/pjs, lotion, book, then I would rock him until he started to look drowsy and then put him down (awake). It took about a week for him to be adjusted. (I didn't want to just start putting him down awake, so I went from rocking him to sleep, to holding him until he was asleep, to just staying in the room, etc.) After that, he started going to sleep around 830 until he dropped his last nap (which he was taking around 6) and then we moved his bed time up an hour.
2012 Reading Challenge
I do like Healthy Sleep Habits. I need to find my copy actually; I wanted to read over some of the later stuff.
I think its important to keep in mind some babies are great sleepers, going 8-10 hrs at 8 weeks, some are average sleepers (I think that's where we fit) and some are absolutely terrible. A friend of mine had such a bad sleeper he literally would not sleep unless being held and moved until over 8 months. No reflux, allergies, etc. He was just ultrahigh needs (he's fine now at 2).
I think in terms of adjusted age for sleep, so I'll share what we were doing around Ada's age...
At that point, they couldn't really be awake more than an hour, maybe 90 minutes towards the end of the day. Their naps were about the same length. They still slept JUST FINE anywhere (this has since ended; eg they are usually awake at the store now etc) so it wasn't a big deal at all. I totally agree re the bedtime routine - we do bath/lotion/bottles most nights and it does help. We try to do a book but a lot of times they're just pooped by then. At that age, it was more like 7:30/8. At the time, they were only sleeping 3, maybe 4 hrs at a pop overnight, so they're go to bed around 8 and eat usually around 11, 2 and 5. We stopped waking the second around then, so sometimes one would sleep 5 or 6 hrs, but it was rare.
Now I by no means am an expert on sleep, and we do not have *amazing* sleepers, but I think we're doing ok for being pretty laid back and baby led (I've read and considered Babywise, for example, and it is WAY too rigid for us, besides the AAP concerns about dehydration etc). I knock on wood saying this, but hitting 12/13 pounds totally turned a corner for us. It has been MUCH MUCH better this last month or so. They almost always get at least a 6 hr stretch each. I find that now that I get at least one 4 hr stretch a night, its not bad at all, but the other night I slept for 6.5 in a row and it was divine
First time since July 
I don't even fantasize about hotels anymore, it has gotten that much better, lol.
Their naps can still be a bit off, I think in some part because there is still some inconsistency with their wake times and caregivers. I am hoping this is largely resolved when they go to daycare. With us on the weekend, they generally are up at 7, nap 8:30-10, 12-2 and 4:30-5:30, give or take 30 minutes. We do NOT plan our day around their naps at all (and probably will not until they're on one nap, especially since they're still good car nappers) but we do make an effort to either be in the car right when its time ot go to sleep, or be home. No waking napping babies
The evening nap really helps. The big change in the last month or so is Quinn barely makes it to 7 on a good napping day, so if she misses that last one she is a wailing mess by 6:15. Last night Quinn slept from 7-5:30. We also find Avery sleeps best if she has a bath. I guess it just wipes her out. She usually sleeps 7:15-4 (if we're lucky) on bath nights. We skipped it last night due to PT. Avery was up at 9, 2:30 and 5:30, but even 9-2:30 isn't too bad. She ate 4 oz each time, so I'm ok with it, though I am unsure if she was up because she missed her bedtime routine of if she just didn't get enough calories during the day. To a large degree, I try not to over-analyze it because most of the time there isn't a good pattern and it is just annoying
holy cow that was long. sorry.
I really do agree about sleep begetting sleep. Quinn will still sleep ok at night if she misses naps - I think because she gets so overstimulated and is thankful to be left alone - but Avery is a freaking disaster. Even at 4.5 mo adj, they really cannot be awake more than 2 hrs tops without losing it. Maybe try putting her in a carrier and taking a walk (even just around the house) or going for a walk with the stroller or a drive to encourage that nap? She's too young to worry about forming bad habits anyway, and itd be nice to encourage the sleep.
We are struggling with drowsy but awake at night. Quinn is fine, but Avery usually needs rocking, which I am not fond of as a requirement for going to sleep (as we generally put them down together anyway, so if we ever did bedtime alone, it would be a disaster to have to rock someone). We're trying to put her down after her bottle drowsy, and sometimes she'll fuss and go to sleep and sometimes she just wails and wails. Eventually we will CIO, but not for another month or two at least.
I agree completely. I haven't used our Baby Whisperer book in months. I'd be happy to send it to you if you want it, Claire!
2012 Reading Challenge
Thanks ladies - I have the baby whisperer book but have not read it yet. I might check out the healthy sleep book you all recommend.
last night I took Ada into her room at 11 and kept the lights off and rocked/nursed her off and on. She finally went down at 12:15am which is an improvement, and she slept til 4:15, then nursed til 4:30 and I let her snuggle on my chest til she was finally asleep at 5:15 (tried putting her down at 4:45 and those eyes popped right open). Then we slept til 9am. So not too bad - I feel GREAT with like two nearly four-hour stretches...I really really needed that.
I think you all are right about working harder to get the afternoon nap. In the morning she'll nap on her swing, pass out on the playmat, etc, but in the afternoon she just has no interest in napping on her own - I might try the carrier today - will have to wear it inside. I can wear that while I prep dinner and clean up the house to get her to sleep for an hour or so. I think she does just get overstimulated from the day and freaks out so much she can't get herself to sleep.
I have heard you don't start the drowsy but awake putting them down until 4 months or so. Can't believe she's already nearly 10 weeks, and 11lbs according to our scale here! hah.
This is 100% true for us, especially Avery. Also, do you drink caffeine at all? C once had a cup of coffee and Avery might as well have drank it herself. We even did an experiment to see if it was a fluke, and it totally was NOT! no caffeine for C, lol.
I think that's probably accurate re drowsy but awake. All these people on Multiples swear by it but we've only been able to do it recently, and its still hit and miss with miss crankypants
(I do think that phenomenon is in part due to the popularity of Babywise which is ok with little bitty babies crying, which I am so not cool with at all).
I can't believe she's 10 weeks. You just got pregnant a couple of months ago
have you tried doing a dreamfeed?
meaning you put her to bed for us that was at 7, then at 9:30 I would go in and nurse her on the spare bed in there (they will nurse/eat in their sleep) and put her right back to bed, so no real waking up. Then she would sleep another few hours because she had a full belly.
Make sure that naptimes are different than night time routine (make it darker) that really helped at that age as well
Anyway, I've been reading and I think there's just not much I can do til she is older, so we're just working on it I guess - I do watch her cues and try to get her to sleep when I know she is tired, at the first signs, etc - but she just won't fall asleep. I spent much of today in dark rooms trying and no dice.