Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Overkill or super sweet?
In my POF profile pic (and my current FB main pic) I have a pic of me with a dairy free cupcake from Crumbs bakery in NYC. THi sguy I ahve been talkign to noticed it and said how good it looks. I told him where it is from and how awesome it was because dairy free cupcakes are rare and Crumbs is awesome too.
Well, we met for the first time today for coffee. I did have a good time. He gave me a Crumbs dairy free cupcake beacuse he works in the city. Well, turns out he went to not one, not two, but THREE Crumbs bakeries to find it because the others were sold out. He aslo left me a very nice note in it.
Part of me is thinking he is doing TOO much for the fact that we have only been talking for a few days and had never previously met, the other part of me is thinking it is super sweet and thoughtful.
Re: Overkill or super sweet?
I'd think that's super sweet!
Unless I got a clingy or weird vibe from him. Then I'd see it in a different light and not talk to him again.
Well you know the vibe of your meeting best, but I'd think it's really nice. I don't know that I would have told someone how much sweat I had to put into the gesture because I feel like that's reaching for a 'thank you' but.. maybe he just really wanted to show you that he's 'different from other guys'
Yeah, I am so used to taking sweet gestures as something with an alterior motive.
I am also not super physically attracted to this guy, but I am thinking that I have to give him a chance.
Please to explain.
A box of staples?
Please tell me it was an inside joke..
Yes, we need the story behind this!!
And I agree with the rest of the girls to the OP.
sweet yes. But I am the type of person who gets easily weirded out, scared away about overkill, especially on a first date. Like I am going on a date this weekend with a guy who is a Syrah fan. I happen to love a local syrah and was telling him about it. But would I bring it to him on a first date, no. I wouldn't want to seem pushy or like it was too much. Plus, what if the dates a dud and I wasted $20 on a bottle of wine.
anyways, about the cupcake dude, I would just go with your overall vibe of him, versus analyzing whether or not it was too much to hunt down your cupcake of choice.
Is this the nutjob from the email?
This in and of itself seems very charming. I have had great ideas that ought to have been simple in execution but ended up being a bit more than I expected because of an unforeseen circumstance like a store being out of something. Unless he's the nutjob from the email, who can do all this driving around because he has a car, I'd say this is super sweet and thoughtful.
I think it's sweet and thoughtful, but weird that he told you he went to three different stores.
I would keep that until later on so as not to creep you out.
I know, we do have a lot of other things in common, up to and including what we do for a living, which is very rare!
Totally agree.
I am in this camp as well. It doesn't seem terribly geniune especially since he went out of his way to explain how much work he had to put into the gift.
The note says :
Leah,
A short note (admitedly underwhelmingand, frankly, barely lucid, at it's very best) to say what a pleasure it has been getting to know you these past couple of days. May this cupcake be as sweet as you are...
Sincerly,
XXX
I totally respect this view, that's why I posted.
I am teetering between the two sides. lol
Okay the note is the nail in coffin for me. Way too familiar for having just met and poorly faked humbleness "admitedly underwhelming?" Gag. That is just BEGGING for you to tell him how awesome he is. I would venture to guess he does something like this for all of the women he meets online.
Yeah, that's kind of what I felt. He says I am his first online date, so I don't know if that's why.
I always say go with your gut in these situations. Taking the entire cupcake situation out of the equation, would you want to go on a date with him again?
Yes, probably. We had a good time and laughed a lot in the short time we spent together. It was just a quick coffee date, but I would give him a second date. I think I still will and then I will know what to do from there.