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Mel- What is your opinion on adopting multiple children?
First of all.... I'm glad that it seems like the adoption process is moving along well for you guys!
I'm interested in your opinion as someone who is trying to adopt on an issue. I have a friend who is currently trying to adopt, and is (rightfully so) frustrated with the adoption process. She made a comment on facebook that she felt that adopting multiple children was selfish and that people should adopt one child (especially infants) and leave more for other.
I brustled at that, as its my opinion that nothing about adoption is selfish and if you have the means to have more than one child and the desire to do so, you should.
Since you are in a similar place as her, and I'm sure are exposed to this from your job, whats your opinion? Am I missing something?
Re: Mel- What is your opinion on adopting multiple children?
I'm sure Mel can speak to this more but where I work we see this a lot. A child or children come into the system and over the course of his/her/their case(s) mom has another baby that has to come into the system as well. They usually try and place siblings together in foster/pre-adoptive homes in the hopes of them all getting adopted (should that time come) by the same family. We have many wonderful families in our court building that have adopted kids whose younger siblings have come in and stepped up and adopted those children as well.
Stand up for something you believe in.
My mom's father was put in an orphanage at birth and he didnt know until he was 11 that he had siblings that came and went through that same orphanage throughout his years there. His mother actually worked at the orphanage, which he was told when the orphanage closed and the owner legally adopted him.
I know that he would have given anything to have had a family and siblings, and to have known his own siblings. We've recently had some of his biological family reach out to us.
I just think giving a child a family and keeping or taking as many children out of "the system" should be the ultimate goal, regardless of how many biological children you have or how many adopted children you have.
I guess thats easy for me to say though.
My guess is that your friend's frustration is coming from a desire to adopt an infant themselves. As Mel said, the older a child gets the "less desirable" they become. My assumption is that your friend is not frustrated with people adopting multiple children but with people adopting an infant and then deciding later on that they want another infant and maybe another and so on and so forth.
Jay and I have discussed that if we were to go on an adoption route due to an inability to conceive children of our own that we'd like to adopt siblings that need a home. Ideally, in that situation, we'd like to adopt an infant but would willingly adopt an older sibling as well.