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Single at Heart
So a few weeks ago I posted about how I have real no desire to be part of couple and that I really enjoy being alone. I thought maybe this was a new phase for me or something, but in working through some therapy and reading some articles I've found that I've actually always been this way, I just felt like I needed to be in a relationship because it was what you do when you grow up. I like casual dating and getting male attention, but I don't like the idea of making decisions together, or "checking in" etc.
What I'm finding really frustrating is that everyone keeps pushing me to date and assures me there is "the one." It's cool all, I'm sure there are lots of great guys I could connect with, but that wouldn't be fair to them assuming their goal is to have a life partner. My family checks in to find out if I'm dating someone and no one can fathom I'd want to be single for the rest of my life. My friends look at me like I've given up and I'm destined to have a horrible life. The truth is I'm much happier than I've ever been and it's so nice not feeling like there is pressure to find someone.
No real point just putting it out there.
Re: Single at Heart
I think this is the reason I stayed single for 4+ years after my divorce. I was so happy being single and wasn't wanting a relationship. Family and friends kept pressuring me into finding "the one" and couldn't figure out why I didn't want to or care to meet that person...
My sister even tried to get me to sign up for an online dating site for active people. Yeah, not only is online dating NOT for me, but I also wasn't wanting to look for anyone.
With that said, as you know, I am dating Mr. K and I am very happy in our relationship, but I would be just as happy with myself if we would have never met/started dating.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
I dont' think there is anything wrong with this! I think it's great you're comfortable being by yourself and not feeling internal pressure to date. I think too many people put too high of expectatiosn on themselves that they "have to" date or they "can't be alone".
I went through this last year...I thought I'd want to date but honestly I just kept putting it off and I was fine with it. honestly I loved LOVED living without having to check in/consider anyone else in my plans, no one to argue with me, etc. It was freedom and it was/IS nice!!! I kept getting asked "so...have you thought about dating" by family/friends/coworkers and Yes, I had, I just really didn't have time and honestly I wasn't in a hurry like I thought I'd be. So, I finally succumed and did the eharmony thing so my sister would stop bugging me.
I'm just not having a ton of success with this dating thing and honestly there's not alot of people I'm interested. There is one, but not holding my breath. So, after my time is up, i think I'm going to go back to being single...and it doesn't freak me out or scare me really. Yes, I'd like to have kids and I realize that time passing doesn't help that, but honestly? Maybe it's just not in the cards.
So...go singlehood!
I have a friend who like you has no desire to be in a relationship he just enjoys being with himself. He dates casually but never seriously and he has come to terms that he will most likely end up alone and he is happy with that.
I don't think there is anything wrong with not wanting to be in a relationship. If you are happiest being single than that is what you should do.
Thanks for taking time to respond ladies! I'm really satisfied with my life but I feel like a total freak among my friends. I'm also getting exhausted that their main goals seem to be finding men. I suppose it's time to identify new friends:) But you ladies have made me feel better knowing I'm not the only one.
And Phoenix I totally understand your pain. The man I married wasn't the cream of the crop, that's for sure, but even when things were good I was always antsy and dissatisfied. Now I'm starting to better understand why.