Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
update to "Hi"
Hi, again. I just wanted to pop in to say thank you. I wrote my last post at a very low moment and am feeling much better now. Your kind words and advice helped yet again.
I had a great talk with my therapist over the phone and we agreed that I should start coming in again on a more regular basis. I hadn't been to see her in several months because of our finances. She even offered to do my sessions at a reduced rate!
Since my last post, I've gone through and gotten copies of all of my and H's financial information and have them stored in a safe place that he does not have access to. I have originals of some of the important stuff (DS's birth certificate, social security card, and the title for my car) and copies of all of our bills, mortgage info, and paycheck stubs. Luckily we are preparing to do our taxes, so my taking this info and making copies didn't seem out of the ordinary to H.
Last weekend I managed to get some time alone with an old friend and we sat for hours talking. It was perhaps the most theraputic talk I've had in a long time and I left her apartment feeling so much better. It was just nice to have someone IRL that I could talk to freely!
Anyway, I thought I would pop in for a minute before I dove into work for the day to say thanks again, I'm feeling much stronger today than I did last week, and I am moving forward.
Re: update to "Hi"
It's funny...I've been thinking about you since your thread last week and wondering how you were doing. I'm glad you are starting to take the necessary steps to get out of your situation. I know it's not easy and I know it may seem scary, but believe me, this is going to be the best thing you can do for you and your son.
If you ever need any further encouragement, advice, or someone to assure you again that you are doing the right thing, we're all here for you.
Good luck and keep us posted on how you are doing
I quoted this fro you last post but I wanted to make sure you saw this.
The bolded portion is not true!
You are married and you have EQUAL CUSTODY. And when they say possession is 9/10 of the law it applies to children. When you have the child in your possession you have 90% more custody of the child.
This also means the reverse when the child is with his father he has more custody at that time.
LEAVE go across state lines. FILE FOR DIVORCE and CUSTODY IN THE NEW STATE where your support network is. Don't let your child back into his custody until a judge tells you to and there is a Court Ordered document stating when the return time is.
I've been where you are. I have 2 children with my abusive ex.
I'll also tell you I haven't seen or heard from him in over 4 years my children do not go to visitation because he has a new object of control and we no longer are on his radar.
It will be a long hard scary harrassing experience.
The first night you are able to sleep and feel safe will be worth it.