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MIL issues
I know, who doesn't have issues with their MIL. How do you ladies deal with it? I used to be good at it. If I hadn't apologized (even when i didn't do a thing) my MIL wouldn't have been at the wedding. Now I kind off wished she hadn't come. So she could see how her pathetic behaviour ruins everything.
I just did it for my hubby. But if we ever had kids, I know it's mean, but i would make sure she was the last to know. Sure she's nicer now, but every time we go there she always seems to get back at me without anyone else noticing. I wish i was imagining it! My husband didn't defend me before the wedding, and now he just doesn't notice. I don't tell him what his (steph)mother does, because he's stuck between me and her. I know it hurts him too. I'm really getting tired of it and i'm scared if she says one more thing, i'm going to burst and then all hell breaks lose. The worst of all, before DH and I were a couple his mom and I used to be very good friends, until i started dating her son.
Any tips on how to survive MIL bullying without freaking out?
Re: MIL issues
Ok I really don't know what else to tell you. This problem lies with your husband and not your MIL. Yes, yes I know it is so much easier to blame her for your problems but you have to know deep down that she wouldn't be an issue if your husband had your back and had the courage to tell her " Mom, cut the crap and respect my girlfriend, fiancee, wife."
The only advice I have is to either
1. insist upon marriage counseling and hopefully a trained professional can get through to him.
2. resign to knowing the he will never uphold his vows and that you will always be low on his totem pole.
Specifically what is she doing that bothers you?
My MIL and I get along very well but just due to blending families I learned pretty quickly that 99% of the time people mean well and they just have a different way of going about things. I never realized before marriage how narrow minded I really am and have to remind myself not everyone acts the way I do (or the people I was raised around do). Maybe this is a similar issue to yours?
Any tips on how to survive MIL bullying without freaking out?
Get a husband who's actually got the nuts to stand up to a bully who's picking on his wife.
And there is no "middle" about expecting your family to treat your spouse w/ respect.
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
Actually, there are a lot of ladies that don't have issues w/ their MIL. I agree that you have a husband problem.
I agree that you have a DH problem. Its hard to give any more specific advice without examples of how she's being a bully. If its rude comments, be polite and ignore her. If she's yelling and name calling, defend yourself.
On a different note, you are not doing yourself any favors or making the relationship improve by plotting against her (per the "she'll be the last to know" comment).
This and please don't have children with this guy.
well if your dh wont back you up then there's your issue.
It's been said before and will be said again. Your husband needs to stop her bahvior, and if she won't, he's done.
Before I even met my MIL I told my then brand-new boyfriend, if it's me or it's her then I win, everytime, no questions, no exceptions, I win. If you can't put me first, then we may as well not even go forward.
Been with the man for 10 years, and my MIL and I have a great respectful relationship.