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I love the way you lie (s/o of a s/o below)
I just can't help myself. After my spin-off post below, I'm having so much fun with it I wanted to do another one. So, what are some of the best (or worst) lies that you've ever heard, either with an XH, ex-SO, friend, etc. I'm dying to know.
I've got some good ones.
-When I found needles along with drugs in XH's truck he said that they weren't his (of course) but they belonged to the girl he'd been texting. They'd done drugs together in his truck. He admitted to using drugs but adamently denied shooting up. So, let me get this straight, it's better to tell me you were alone with a meth whoore in your truck, doing drugs together, than it is to just admit that you prefer to shoot up meth, rather than smoke it? Okey dokey.
-When I found unused syringes and strange vials in his snowboarding bag he said it was because he was using steroids. I asked him why, since he really wasn't even working out at that time. He said that he was using human growth hormone to help his back (he has a bad back).
-when he missed an important obgyn appointment with me when I was pregnant, he said it was because the hotel forgot his wake-up call (he was coming back from being OOT). But, by my calculations, he would have had to have slept in until after noon. And most check-out times are at 11.
-One of the best ones was recently. XH showed up for his visitation in a brand new Dodge, 3500, four-door which retails for about $50K (without all of the bells and whistles he added to it). I asked him how in the world he could afford the truck when he essentially doesn't work. He said that he traded in his two trucks (a 2006 toyota tacoma and a POS 1997 Dodge that he probably couldn't even get $5K for) into the dealership straight across the board. Right.
-When I asked him why he doesn't have a "real job" he said because his drug counselor thinks he needs to not work full-time and "focus on his sobriety". He's been out of rehab since April 2011.
Re: I love the way you lie (s/o of a s/o below)
BWA HA HA HA! LOL!!!
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
I told one when I was 16. I had my Mom's car because I told her I was going to my friend's house to study. I was really at my BF's house. Well, the BF's neighbor ended up backing into my Mom's car with their HUGE van (Mom had a small Honda). Yeah... I definitely got caught. Mom was pissed as her entire driver side of the car had to be replaced.
She also found handcuffs in my backpack and I told her I was giving a presentation in school about how a character in the book we were suppoesd to be reading for school felt trapped.
LOL!!
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
Haha! I remember one from when i was in kindergarten. I told my mom that two of my friend's moms didn't like each other (why?? who knows!). She knew I was lying but I was sticking to my story. She even called one of the moms in front of me and asked the mom (looking back, I'm pretty sure she just pretended to dial...). She even went as far to tell me that people went to jail for lying.
My husbands XW was a pathological liar
-when he came home from Iraq she had track marks up and down her arms and tried to tell him they were mosquito bites.
-she also told him that all the mail that came to their home addressed to another man was a mistake from the post office. Then the guy came home.
-She told him her mother was a judge in TX and they had a falling out and didn't speak. Turns out her mom is actually in jail.
Sadly, I, too, have heard this one.
I was busted the first time I did anything really bad, and it lead to a pretty straight-and-narrow life. But in the fourth grade (so, maybe 9?) I had to write a poem. So I went through my 3-years-older-sister's schoolwork, and found a poem she had written, and turned that it. Little did I know my sister's poetry skill was also, well, let's be generous and call it ill-gotten. I turned in the very famous ...
I must go down to the seas again,
to the lonely sea and the sky,
And all I ask is a tall ship and a star
to steer her by,
And the wheel's kick and the wind's song and the white sail's shaking,
And a grey mist on the sea's face and a grey dawn breaking.
I must go down to the sea again, for the call of the running tide
Is a wild call and a clear call that may not be denied;
And all I ask is a windy day with the white clouds flying,
And the flung spray and the blown spume, and the sea-gulls crying.
I must go down to the seas again, to the vagrant gypsy life,
To the gull's way and the whale's way where the wind's like a whetted knife;
And all I ask is a merry yarn from a laughing fellow-rover,
And quiet sleep and a sweet dream when the long trick's over.
Did I mention I was NINE? Nine and busted.
this is killing me! I love this post. Especially the poetry thief and the guy who 'went out for cigarettes". lol
My mom hates clutter and hated fridge magnets. To keep me from complaining she told me that magnets broke the fridge and that's why we couldn't have any. When I asked why my friends' parents had them she said because they were idiots but not to say anything because it's rude to correct adults.
Fast forward to college when my roommate put magnets on the fridge and I freaked, telling her we'd break it. She made me call my mom to ask the real reason behind the no magnet rule...and yes, gullible is written on my ceiling!
When I was in second grade, I accidentally broke a window at school (yes, it really was accidental). I lied and said someone had come up behind me and hit my arm, and the ice/snow ball flew out of my hand and hit the window and broke it. I'm not sure how many times I repeated that story to my teacher, the principal, my parents...and they all had to know I was lying based on my story and where the window was located in proximity to me.
I had to give all the money in my piggy bank (all $5 of it or whatever it was) to the school to help pay for it. I remember it like it was yesterday.
As for XH? I'm too exhausted to think of anything at the moment, but trust me when I say that there are so many that I can't even keep them all straight.