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What to do - other persons child hitting
So I went to my sons arts alive program yesterday and all the parents were sitting in a circle. One of the girls in Kyle's class walked up to me and tried to hit me. When she missed she stepped into my lap and slapped me. Her mom was sitting two moms down and just said - ohh she is going through a hitting phase. The child that was hitting is 15 months old.
Then the girl went to another mom and did the same thing and again her mother did nothing.
When she hit me I just moved her off my lap but I was questioning whether I should correct her and tell her she should not hit people. Her mom was right there so I thought maybe she would but she did not.
What do you think should be done in situations like that?
5/17/09 Silverlake Sprint Triathlon 1:28:32
10/3/09 Susan G. Komen 5K 28:58
1/17/10 Chevron Half Marathon 2:09:08
2/27/10 ConocoPhilips Rodeo Run 10K 1:10:49
Re: What to do - other persons child hitting
I would have said something to the child. Not harsh or mean but so that they understand it's not the right thing to do.
My son is a pusher. He isn't verbalizing what he wants so he pushes when he doesn't like something. I do not have a problem at all with another mom telling him no when it happens and I'm not right there. I try to always take him out of the situation and make him apologize.
Just sitting there and passing it off as a phase is unacceptable in my book.
I do not mind at all if another adult sees my child doing something like that and tells them that it is not nice. In your example, I'd be fine with it.
same as above.
If you yelled or hit my child back, that would upset me. But you are a person who has a right not to be hit even if you are an adult and it is a little kid. You could tell her, "no m'am, it's not nice to hit." If she tried it again after I had said something like it's not nice, I would ask the mother to say something and also keep the child at arm's length. The child is testing boundaries and what she can get away with. She needs to know what the limits are.
- Paula Deen to 104.1 KRBE's Producer Eric 9/17/2011
I think it's perfectly appropriate to tell the child that she shouldn't hit b/c it's not nice and hurts people.
this.
I would find it totally acceptable to tell my child NO sir, hitting is not nice! We don't hit!
I probably would have told her in a calm, level voice something about how "No, we don't hit - hitting is not nice." Or "hands are not for hitting."
It would be harder to correct the mom, because it seems like she thinks it is ok. It might not be right, but I would just say something to the kid. If the mom gets pissed, or mad that you corrected her child, then I would say that I understand, but I also don't want my LO learning that it is OK.
Yes, testing boundries...phase....but it will become more if not corrected. Whether it's been in an organized class, playdate, or a daycare place, hitting is not acceptable. Most places I've taken DS the term "nice or gentle hands" after correcting by saying "no hit". I fully expect and want others to correct my son if he does this to them. I get more upset if they don't. While I correct him, it often means more coming from the person being hit. Then he realizes it's not just Mommy saying no hit, but everyone.
I have no problem correcting a child that hits me or bites me or my child for that matter. If the Mom has an issue with it, then I simply tell her it isn't acceptable to do and if DS sees her get away with it, he thinks it's ok. She can get huffy with me if she wants, but no child is going to hit me/my child or bite or whatever and not be corrected.
I have no problem correcting other children and no problem when people do so to mine. I would never use a sharp tone with a child that is not mine. I would probably say "please don't hit. that hurts."
As far as the mom, I know there are some who are just oblivious but I also know sometimes when their child is going through a bad phase and they aren't sure how to deal with it, they pretend it's nothing because they are embarrassed. Just something to consider. We are always quick to judge other moms without knowing their stories. I am about as bad as you get with this but when I am feeling level headed, I try to remember what a challenge parenting is and how different people have different coping mechanisms. But then again, some people just don't give a $hit.
I would have corrected her. Yeah it's just a phase, but that means that the mom KNOWS it's likely to happen and should be on top of the situation, watching that kid like a hawk. It doesn't mean ignore it.
Honestly, I wouldn't have yelled, but I do not think I would be able to manage a calm voice either. I would have used my mean mom voice and said something like No! No hit! Not nice!... because that's what I would do with my kids.