Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

IHO Katiescats yesterday

Do any of you go out to lunch daily with an opposite sex coworker, confide in each other and become friends and whatnot, and have it be free of attraction or sexual attention and  totally nonthreatening to your husband?  I'm starting to wonder if this is more rare than I'd thought.
image

Re: IHO Katiescats yesterday

  • Yes, I have. Some of my coolest friends are guys.
    image
  • I have several male friends at work and sometimes see them for lunch or after work with beers. I have one guy in particular that I talk with regularly over text message because we work in two separate buildings, but nothing is inappropriate. FI has met all my work buddies. FI and I hang out on a regular basis w/ the guy who texts me.

  • I used to have a male coworker like this.  We shared an office and were buds from the first day I walked in.  He was quite a few years older than me (around 20), married, had a couple of kids around my age.  He was all about his family.  It wasn't sexual in the slightest.  We were good teammates and had similar senses of humor.  My XH liked him too.  I confided in him a lot when it came to my career, friends, and, eventually, the end of my marriage.  He'd confide in me too about his life outside of work.  We shared a lot of personal info, but yet we were very conscious about boundaries.  We rarely went to lunch together or saw each other outside of the office unless it was an office happy hour. 

    Then I moved away and we lost touch.  Aw well.  I kinda miss having an office buddy like that.  I'm the only chick on my team, but we're all around the same age and they're all married, so the boundaries are definitely more defined.   

    This is my siggy.
  • I work in a fairly male-dominated field (or at least my offices have been) and I'm pretty close to a few male co-workers. Not attracted to any of them, most of them are married and my husband knows them all and doesn't feel threatened in the least.  I also know their wives and kids. We don't discuss our marriages/relationships but we do confide in each other a lot about work matters and discuss families, etc. We don't go out to lunch daily but fairly regularly and grab drinks after works occasionally.
    DD Lea, born 04/21/10
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    BFP #4 It's a BOY!
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
    CP: July 2011
    BFP #3: 11/3/2011 M/C 12/12/11
    We miss you and love you always, little firecrackers!
  • I use to have a friend like this, though I never had any even vaguely crushy feelings for him.

    I found out later that he was telling people that he was banging me and I got to totally reevaluate my ability to assess people.

    I have other guy friends, but nothing that close.

  • I have a male co-worker and we have lunch together everyday, usually not alone though. There is absolutely NO attraction at all. My H and I also go out with him and his w a lot as well. my kids babysit for them, and we have even traveled together.

    i repeat...no attraction at all.



  • I have not, but at my old job...hooboy. They were not sexually-connected (I don't think) but two of my coworkers were inseperable.  Had breakfast and lunch together every day, spent most of their down time in each other's offices, etc.  He is married and she is single.  His wife knows and loves her.  They called each other work husband and wife all the time.

    It skeeved me out.

    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • It just occurred to me last month, while out to lunch with the same coworker that I ate with every day before he moved away, that TIP would advise against this, even though IMO in real life it's not any kind of slippery slope to anything nefarious at all.
    image
  • There is no problem with having friends of the opposite sex.  I had more male friends than female friends in college.  Of course we were mostly Theatre and English Majors, so there wasn't really much sexual tension happening.
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I don't go out to lunch with anyone daily at my current job, but I do have male coworkers I spend a lot of time with.  Heck, some of them have had to literally hold me up when a kid tries to push through me.  We hug each other when things get rough, etc.  I'd say we're friends, at least on a certain level.

    But there is NO sexual attraction/tension, at least on my end.  I do try to be careful because my workplace can be crazy with the rumors, but we have to function as a pretty tight-knit group to work effectively together.  DH knows about my relationships with all of them and is not threatened by any of it.

    I do also have a male office mate and we are NOT attracted to one another at all.  Some days we get along swimmingly, some days I want to punch him in the face.  DH has met him and sees why I both like and am annoyed by him. 

  • My office partner and I lunch together nearly daily and consult and advise each other on many matters both professional and personal; it's been that way for 18 years.  There is no 'tension', sexual or otherwise; we are friends and that's all. My dh is not threatened, and neither is his wife; I get her bday gifts, she sends in snacks to the office, it's all good.

     

    SO SINGS MY SOUL *WHAM!* MY SAVIOR GOD TO THEE *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!* HOW GREAT THOU ART *WHAM!*
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards