February 2008 Weddings
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Facebook is irritating me! Rant

So lately, my coworkers have been posting really offensive things on their facebook with regards to politics and religion. I think some of it is very valid and makes a lot of sense with whats going on in the world right now - but they make these big blanket statements and use tons of cuss words when talking about specific people or a specific group of people - just generally full of hate and not constructive at all. I really don't like it but have always refrained from saying anything because it wasn't worth my time.

 A few days ago one of the statements that was made was about something that I believe (and I'm gonna leave this out because we try to keep things peaceful in juneville, lol) but it basically accused anyone who believes what I believe of being abusive, poisonous, disgusting, and really ***arded (I really really hate that word as a way to describe people, which is why I'm starring it out). Anyhow, I said something. Calmly, intellectually, and very peacefully corrected and stated how their statement was inaccurate, at least for what I believe personally, and they need to get their facts straight before making generalizations. I was completely attacked with immature responses from coworkers, their friends, etc. I basically let it go and didn't argue past the 1 statement I made because I didn't think it was worth it, but I wanted to stick up for myself this once because I couldn't take it.

 Now, its gotten worse. I wish I had said nothing. A day ago one of them posted something really nasty directly onto my wall, borderline harassment. I cried for about an hour because I feel like I'm going through high school all over again. I completely disabled my facebook wall so my past posts aren't visible and no one can post on my own wall except me but I just feel so frustrated with Facebook. I feel like its gotten to the point where the only statuses I look at are Juneville statuses because they are the only ones that are pleasant these days. 

ETA: I completely understand that everyone has a right to an opinion and many opinions on this planet are very different from the next - but I think that there is a HUGE difference between shouting in someone's face and having an intellectual conversation about your differences and learning something about a belief you may not have known - or a misconception that you can clear up simply by speaking with someone in a civilized manner. 

 /vent. 

Re: Facebook is irritating me! Rant

  • I'm so sorry that people were being so nasty to you! I hide people from my news feed when they constantly post things that I don't care to see. I can't believe how ugly they were being to you!
    image
  • I can't believe how immature some people are! That is crazy how disrespectful those people were, and how far they crossed the line into harassment. I'm so sorry :(
    *Ashley & Anthony* *06.25.11* Anniversary

    2012 Reading Challenge
    Ashley has read 8 books toward her goal of 50 books.
    hide
  • ***Hugs***

     

    There have been times when I was tempted just to disable my Facebook altogether because it can be so negative.  Seriously, people can be so immature, and people you normally wouldn't give time or attention to can come crawling into your life because they're posting on Facebook all the time.  I've started just hiding or defriending a lot of people and I generally don't comment on ignorant posts, no matter how livid I get. 

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • Oh, Joy, I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this kind of junk, especially from co-workers and their friends. I have made a point to not be friends with co-workers on FB because it can turn into a volatile environment quickly, even if it wasn't meant to. I hope they stop acting so immature and irrational. No one deserves to feel the way you are feeling because of an honest opinion. What is the world coming to these days?
    Anniversary
  • Agh, I'm so sorry you're going that.  I have a couple facebook friends who post comments that completely smash those of certain faiths.....especially mine.  It can be painful when they personally attack and completely misconstrue what I believe.  You have to do what you need to do to protect yourself, and making your wall private is probably the best idea.  What I've learned to do is that people try to elicit a negative response (i.e. say these hurtful comments to make you angry), you have to respond with love and grace, just like we're called to do.  It's tough, but it makes us stronger in the long run.  :-) 

    2012 Reading Challenge

    2012 Reading Challenge
    Erin has read 1 book toward her goal of 25 books.
    hide
    Follow Me on Pinterest Married Bio and For Sale! Updated 12/23
    "And now you stand before me today, and with all my heart I say, that you are God's miracle to me." June 18th, 2011
    image
  • I'm so sorry to hear that, Joy!!  People can be downright mean sometimes, and Facebook has made it so easy to just bully someone without any repercussions.  They can't see the reaction of the person, so they keep doing whatever they feel like.

    As a completely side note, and please don't judge me, but what is the ***arded comment that people are saying??  I saw it on here, and elsewhere, but I am naive or stupid or something, and don't know what it means.  Could someone please fill me in so that I can correct people when they use it?  I haven't heard it in my classroom yet, but I'd like to know what it means for the event that I do.

  • That is so horrible, Joy! I'm so sorry you are having to deal with that. You are entitled to your own opinion just as much as they are and that does NOT give them the right to be hostile toward you. It amazes me that people act in such a way, like being so abrasive and immature is really going to bring people over to your side of the argument? Not a chance.

    If something like that happened to me I would honestly just defriend anyone who has the audacity to post something cruel on your wall. That might cause more blood to boil over on their side, but they don't deserve to be even a facebook friend if they can't be respectful.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • imagemb2712:

    I'm so sorry to hear that, Joy!!  People can be downright mean sometimes, and Facebook has made it so easy to just bully someone without any repercussions.  They can't see the reaction of the person, so they keep doing whatever they feel like.

    As a completely side note, and please don't judge me, but what is the ***arded comment that people are saying??  I saw it on here, and elsewhere, but I am naive or stupid or something, and don't know what it means.  Could someone please fill me in so that I can correct people when they use it?  I haven't heard it in my classroom yet, but I'd like to know what it means for the event that I do.

     

    I am not judging you :) The word is 'retarded'. I've never really used it because I don't like it.

     

    Thanks for understanding ladies - I know I needed to protect myself which is why I turned my wall off. Sidenote - Facebook somehow misconstrued one of my privacy requests as "delete all comments on other people's walls" so I looked at some peoples statuses and stuff and all my comments are gone. LOL. Oh well, nothing like starting from scratch hahaha.

  • I am not judging you :) The word is 'retarded'. I've never really used it because I don't like it.

    I've heard that one before, quite frequently in a school unfortunately. I was thinking that you meant patarded, which I've never heard before??

  • imagemb2712:
    I am not judging you :) The word is 'retarded'. I've never really used it because I don't like it.

    I've heard that one before, quite frequently in a school unfortunately. I was thinking that you meant patarded, which I've never heard before??

     

    I have never heard that before, I would assume it means the same thing but I wouldn't know!

  • i would take screen shots & show them to ur boss. hate speeches posted publicly on the web can & often are cause for disciplinary action in most companies. & the fact that they openly attacked u is inexcusable!
  • imagejoyfulbride424:
    imagemb2712:
    I am not judging you :) The word is 'retarded'. I've never really used it because I don't like it.

    I've heard that one before, quite frequently in a school unfortunately. I was thinking that you meant patarded, which I've never heard before??

    I have never heard that before, I would assume it means the same thing but I wouldn't know!

    i'll be honest here, i'm a little insensitive to the word. when i use the word, i naturally don't associate it to the handicapped. "patarded" is my way way of saying someone is so overly stupid that it goes beyond the normal spelling. so i'll leave things with this: if i offend, sorry. just my thinking is that when u automatically associate a word someone says to a negative notion, u just help spread the negative connection without intending to.

  • Good for you for sticking up for what you believe. A lot of the time I don't (especially on fb) because I don't want to deal with people getting in my face with their negativity. I'm with you, Joy, regarding the difference between an intellectual conversation and just blatant disregard for others and their opinions. I try to stay neutral unless I'm with people who I trust and respect. I'm do not looking forward to this upcoming election year and the campaigning that will surely find its way to fb. Glad juneville will stay a happy neutral place! 
  • So... I would probably delete each and every one of your facebook 'friends' that are your coworkers.  It is unacceptable, and as the campaigns continue the messages will most likely become more frequent.

    I'm sorry that you had to deal with the personal attacks though.  It is really uncomfortable to know that people have such a narrow outlook on life and find ways to belittle others, especially people that they have never met. 

    *hugs*

    I hope you can delete them soon, so you can get the full capabilities of your facebook back.  OR, maybe you can teach me how to use twitter and we can just tweet instead. 


    image
    We'll end up hand in hand
    Somewhere down on the sand
    Just me and you
  • Oh FB.  I think you made a good decision to disable your wall.  I personally think people are crossing the line when they post their personal beliefs on your FB wall (unless they know you share a particular belief, support the same org, etc.).  I have considered deleting individuals who post things on my wall that go against my beliefs, feeling, etc.    

     I also think you handles the situation the best way that you could.  I would have also pointed out that the individual was making an incorrect judgement by generalizing an entire group of people.  It sounds as if this person knew what he/she was doing but sometimes people accidently make a generalization w/o indending (I am guilty of accidently making a generalization, it was pointed out, and I apologized).  I will tell you that I have found that it is easier to just ignore things especially when it comes to politics or religion.  I love politics but I try to be very aware of how often I am posting political things on my fb and I tend to ignore other people's fb post on politics if I don't agree.  It is extremely difficult to do this when you are passionate but I found that sometimes it is just not worth it.

    image
  • imagecayres5:

    Oh FB.  I think you made a good decision to disable your wall.  I personally think people are crossing the line when they post their personal beliefs on your FB wall (unless they know you share a particular belief, support the same org, etc.).  I have considered deleting individuals who post things on my wall that go against my beliefs, feeling, etc.    

     

     

    Exactly this. I'm so sorry that these people are being aggressive and so ignorant about the fact that others can have different beliefs and opinions. It sounds like they are just trying to get a rise out of you- but they are acting like a bunch of rowdy teenagers. I'd suggest unfriending them, or at least changing your settings so that you don't see their status updates and comments on your news feed. You're such a pleasant, kind, intelligent person- don't let anyone bully you because they happen to think about things differently.

  • I'm relieved you girls are understanding  - even outside of the situation. I really wish I could defriend them but I think that would cause problems at work since I sometimes work with them directly. I should've never accepted those friendships to begin with but I think defriending them would put gasoline on a fire when I have projects to work on with them.

    Thanks for listening ladies!!!

  • I also regret adding coworkers on facebook and I cannot delete them. It would cause too much drama. I think that facebook/the internet in general is just a way for people to hide behind their computers. Beacuse I'm sure in person they would not have said the things they did. People are unreal sometimes. So sorry you have to deal with this. People are so cruel sometimes!
  • I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm amazed how FB makes people so immature and hateful. And I agree with PP that co-workers shouldn't be saying that stuff on FB to you. In fact, one of my coworkers decided to put on FB all the girls that went to her OB GYN and announce their pregnancies to the FB world. Unfortunately not all were pregnant and one had just lost their baby so she got into some serious trouble for her stupid decision (why she put it on FB in the first place is beyond me. It wasn't even her place). 

     

    Good luck. Hope it's not unpleasant at work bc of this.  

  • imagekayla0611:

    I'm so sorry you had to go through that. I'm amazed how FB makes people so immature and hateful. And I agree with PP that co-workers shouldn't be saying that stuff on FB to you. In fact, one of my coworkers decided to put on FB all the girls that went to her OB GYN and announce their pregnancies to the FB world. Unfortunately not all were pregnant and one had just lost their baby so she got into some serious trouble for her stupid decision (why she put it on FB in the first place is beyond me. It wasn't even her place). 

     

    Good luck. Hope it's not unpleasant at work bc of this.  

    Wow, she could be arrested for that bc of HIPPA, I'm glad she got caught for doing that!

Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards