Trouble in Paradise
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I was snooping through H's phone...

I had a suspicion that H was doing something shady with an online prescription drug site.  I had caught a glimpse of him being on the website but didn't really think much of it because I didn't know what it was about.  A few days later he told me he needed a money order for something going on through his job.  I thought it sounded shady and remembered the website so I asked him straight up if he ordered something online that he would need a money order for and he said no and acted like he didn't remember being on the website that I was referring to.

This morning his phone was just laying there on the counter so I looked through his gmail account and saw an order confirmation for hydrocodone pain killers (which he does not have a prescription for), and instructions on where to send a money order.  I don't know what to do.  We've been having other problems anyway and I have been considering leaving, but I keep thinking if we work on things, we might be able to get back to a better place.  We were in counseling for about 6 months but stopped almost a month ago because we weren't happy with the therapist, and haven't made any decisions on continuing counseling yet.  Now with this, I don't know if I should confront him and try to get him help, or just leave.  I know it's silly, but I feel bad going through his phone.  I feel sick.  What should I do?

Re: I was snooping through H's phone...

  • I would tell him to get help as I was walking out the door. Things are already bad and now you know he's lying and taking drugs. That sick feeling in your stomach, I don't think you can ever get rid of that.

    No kids, I take it? Do you own, or rent?

  • Don't feel bad about going through his phone. Confront him about it. I'm not sure what to do after that - therapy? al-anon? Addiction is a tough thing to deal with and it sounds like you may be halfway out the door already.
  • No kids.  We do own a home together so that will be the biggest issue I guess.
  • This sounds weird to me, if he had an order confirmation he would have most likely already paid...are you sure it's not a scam mailer? Did it have his mailing address and other information on it?

     

    BabyFruit Ticker
  • imageLilBlkDress1:

    This sounds weird to me, if he had an order confirmation he would have most likely already paid...are you sure it's not a scam mailer? Did it have his mailing address and other information on it?

     

    It had instructions on where to send the money order, our mailing address, and his email and account password.  I logged into his account with the website and it has his order number and all his information. There was also an email from him to their customer service following up at some point when he hadn't gotten a delivery date from them yet.

  • I'd wait for the pills to come in and take them with me when I left... He's already spent your money on em and no reason not to spoil his high in every way. Since you seem to have quit on the marriage anyway may as well turn the dagger deep as possible. Leave him a wrecked drug addict quivering on the floor with out a wife or any reason to live!?

     

    Sorry watching intervention right now.  Just feeling that addict pity.

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  • How can he get these without a prescription? There is something shady about the deal and your H. Lawyer up and then confront him. It is no way to live with a liar and possibly a druggy. You can't fix this guy.
  • What Motzie says.

    Drug use and drug addiction is a dealbreaker.
  • imagemaaddy:
    imageLilBlkDress1:

    This sounds weird to me, if he had an order confirmation he would have most likely already paid...are you sure it's not a scam mailer? Did it have his mailing address and other information on it?

     

    It had instructions on where to send the money order, our mailing address, and his email and account password.  I logged into his account with the website and it has his order number and all his information. There was also an email from him to their customer service following up at some point when he hadn't gotten a delivery date from them yet.

    Fwd this to yourself so you have proof. Decide if you want to live with an addict.  This can't be his first addiction. Does he get scripts from doctors for other pills?  Talk to him about rehab and GTFO. It will only get worse. Check your credit too. If its a scam your credit might be messed up. 

    PM if you want to talk. My XH bought drugs online and had a pill addiction.  

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  • imageFMIL&MOB:
    How can he get these without a prescription? There is something shady about the deal and your H. Lawyer up and then confront him. It is no way to live with a liar and possibly a druggy. You can't fix this guy.

    Awww... you're so cute. ;o)

    Having a prescription is not the only way to get painkillers.  Although these websites seem shady, it's not like you're paying and not get your product.  You'll pay through the nose... but in the end, he's purchasing painkillers.  Prescription or no prescription.  That's why addicts order through these websites.  They're websites housed in other countries that don't have such strict controlled substance laws (i.e. no prescription needed). You pay an azzload of money to one of these people and hope to God the pills get through Customs on their way into the US.

    image
    Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
  • Yeah you gave up on this thing already you said. This guy at least deserves better then you so you should honestly do him the favor of leaving. I honestly can say I don't see him asking a board on the interwebs what to do about you giving up on the marriage so he must be the bad guy. Couldn't be things like this being read over your shoulder or behind your back that drove him to drugs instead of you!? 

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  • imageInterro+Bang:

    I'd wait for the pills to come in and take them with me when I left... He's already spent your money on em and no reason not to spoil his high in every way. Since you seem to have quit on the marriage anyway may as well turn the dagger deep as possible. Leave him a wrecked drug addict quivering on the floor with out a wife or any reason to live!?

     

    Sorry watching intervention right now.  Just feeling that addict pity.

    *lurker butting in* Is this a joke? I sincerely hope you're being sarcastic. If not...umm, wow. 

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  • Awww... Interro has her very own fan!  She should be so proud.
    image
    Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
  • imageimoan:
    Awww... Interro has her very own fan!  She should be so proud.

    Had me fooled for a minute, and then I was like, is that English?

  • And she has a wicked handle bar mustache too. Much prouder of that then being made fun of for defending the defenseless on here. This husband has been left for dead and is reaching out for a numbing agent. He wouldn't if his wife hadn't faked the counseling, and invaded his privacy. Why did she invade his privacy? TO FIND A REASON TO LEAVE! You hens are so predictable!?
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  • imageInterro+Bang:
    And she has a wicked handle bar mustache too. Much prouder of that then being made fun of for defending the defenseless on here. This husband has been left for dead and is reaching out for a numbing agent. He wouldn't if his wife hadn't faked the counseling, and invaded his privacy. Why did she invade his privacy? TO FIND A REASON TO LEAVE! You hens are so predictable!?

    You're so right.  How dare someone not want their hard earned money to go to fund a drug habit.  What a selfish ?!  She should go to the ATM right now, take out as much cash as she can get and hit the streets to buy her H his next fix.  Then she'd get "wife of the year"!

    image
    Currently Reading: Don Quixote by Miguel De Cervantes
  • imageimoan:

    imageInterro+Bang:
    And she has a wicked handle bar mustache too. Much prouder of that then being made fun of for defending the defenseless on here. This husband has been left for dead and is reaching out for a numbing agent. He wouldn't if his wife hadn't faked the counseling, and invaded his privacy. Why did she invade his privacy? TO FIND A REASON TO LEAVE! You hens are so predictable!?

    You're so right.  How dare someone not want their hard earned money to go to fund a drug habit.  What a selfish ?!  She should go to the ATM right now, take out as much cash as she can get and hit the streets to buy her H his next fix.  Then she'd get "wife of the year"!

     

    Affirmative.  I like the way you think toots!?

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  • My Ex-H is addicted to opiates, and it is not/was not pretty.  He has been jobless for 8 years, has lost all rights to his children, and was homeless at one point.  He has been in and out of treatment, but pills are easy to get and easy to hide.  For a little while anyway.  Then it becomes obvious to everyone around that they are using again.  My advice is to get out.  Nothing will make him stop accept hitting rock bottom, and you don't want to be there when that happens.
  • I'm glad that this interro+bang weirdo is an imposter. I thought that Interro had lost her ever-loving mind until I saw that it was a newbie.

    Interro+bang, what is your reasoning behind this douchebaggery?

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