Starting Over
joelen&louis
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Facebook...& connections w/exes
With regard to FB, how did you handle inlaws and those related/connected to your ex/stbxh? Did you continue to keep those connections? block friendships? something else?
Re: Facebook...& connections w/exes
I'll keep them (even StbX) since I mainly just post pics our kids, unless they do something to warrant removal.
This, except I deleted everyone but his aunt, whom I made friends with. Honestly, it just helped me to more firmly shut the door on my marriage and all of the abuse that came with it. Blocking XH felt very freeing...
I blocked XH and any of his family or close friends who I did not trust. I de-friended any mutual friends/aquaintances.
This was also after creating a new profile.
You know, defriending people during/after a divorce doesn't necessarily mean there is drama, fights, resentment...whatever you can imagine. It means you're moving on and people are parting ways. As painful as it may be, I defriended people IRL that never created drama and with whom I got along great. But they are linked to XH and in order to move on and start over with my life, this was necessary.
I removed all of his family. His aunt then sent me another friend request (WTF?) and I denied it. She then asked XH why I unfriended her and would not friend her back.
BSC.
Of course drama is not the only reason. It was a common one given by PPs. I live 4 hours away from XFI and his family, so it's really the easiest way to stay in contact with them, and, as I said, we're all still on good terms, so I like the ability to send him or his family members a "happy birthday" Facebook message or whatever. This happens maybe once every other month. It really didn't interefere with my moving on process. I feel no need to cut him out of my life completely...instead, we have occasional contact--about the same frequence as I have with other friends from that period of my life who I am no longer as close to but still like to hear from occasionally.
I'm still FB friends with my ex, because I'm still real-life friends with him. He's actually also FB friends with my BF. )They knew each other long he and I started dating, and they get along nicely. Whenever they see one another, they hug and chat. It's sweet.)
I'm FB friends with Ex's brother and brother's wife, as well as with his aunt. I was never close to any of them, but I do genuinely like all of them. There's not a ton of contact, but we'll occasionally comment on one another's photos.
I'd say we probably still have about 100 common FB friends.
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.