Trouble in Paradise
Dear Community,

Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.

If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.

Thank you.

Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.

Friend needs help... (long sorry)

(I am using an AE as I don`t want people to know who I am as some friends IRL use this site as well.)

I have given my friend my advice and I just want to make sure that it is the right advice. Here is her story, lets call her B and her BF C.

B and C had been dating on and off for about 2 years and they had been back together for about 4 months when she found out she was pregnant. (They were not very smart about preventing it). B had always wanted to buy a house before she had children, so when she was about 4 months pregnant they bought a house together.

Their daughter was born and they were both very happy.  But it was around then that their physical and emotional relationship ended. He very much loves her and she just thinks of him as a friend.

It has been 2 1/2 yrs since their daughter was born and they continue to act like room mates more then bf/gf. 

C was having troubles finding work in his industry (electrician). He found a job where he works 2 weeks on and 1 week off, so he is only home for a week at a time. It was during his first time he was away that she really realized how she really feels about him and she feels bad as she doesn't want to hurt him.

She has started counseling, she does not want to stay in this relationship she just doesn't know how to get out. Yesterday he asked her if she misses him when he is gone and she didn't know how to answer, so she didn't say anything. (I know he knows that they are going to split up, but he loves her and he doesn't want her to leave.)

My advice to her was to let him know as soon as possible how she feels, he needs to hear it from her. He left again today and I told her she should figure it out before he gets back. I just think that she needs to let him go as it isn't fair for either him or her.

 

Re: Friend needs help... (long sorry)

  • A may want to tell B to C her way out of the problem!?

    image
  • I agree.  she is hurting herself, him, and the child by not being honest.  She needs to figure out how to tell him and then leave.
  • I would say that not only is she hurting herself, but she's hurting him too.  As a wife whose husband works out of town frequently, you often feel like a single parent and have your space and freedom... but with the added luxury of more money coming in.  She may be thinking it's easier to stay and put up with things for the week he's home, than to leave and try to do things on her own.  As long as her heart isn't in it though, she isn't protecting the relationship they have, and may end up meeting someone else.  Will it be better to leave when she's moving on with another man?  It may hurt her husband, but it's better to leave things this way, than to wait TOO LONG to do it and create bitterness.  
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • I think you gave her pretty decent advice.
    image
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards