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Because it is slow
I give you, "Facebook Aunt vs. The NFL: A Drama in Status Updates"
These are the status updates she posted on Saturday [times are in EST, but she lives in CO]:
8:40 PM: I just discovered a great new super-sneaky way to ferret out who is NOT watching the Bronco game [i.e., Facebook].....what fun!!!
8:48 PM: Is there life beyond sports???? Anyone????
*Comment on her own status: Sports section is the first newspaper section to go to the recycle bin. Don't care. Don't get it.
*Comment on her own status: Since high school (or maybe before?) I have never been able to get into the pervasive thing in our society of always having to be an "US vs. THEM." Why does everythig have to be that way??? I don't thin k it has to be. Competitive sports, us vs. them, good guys vs. bad guys, right vs. wrong, black/white, all of that just simplifies all of us into two camps and we are all WAY too complex than that!!! It's "this human dilemma compared to that" and which most strigent need do we respond to this time????!!!!
*Comment by random man: Competitiveness and the will to win is what has made America great. And it is US against Them....
9:07 PM: I saw Robert Downey Jr. in "Sherlock Holmes" this week, and I thought it was a great movie, although I read a really bad review of it in "The Westminster Window" on Thursday. I really enjoyed it. Just sayin' for sake of conversation during stupid game.
9:10 PM: Watching a re-run of "House" on tv right now. Like I said, yes, there is life after sports! Hugh Laurie is such a great actor! I was imaganing his acting involved with an American accent, while watching Robert Downey Jr. acting with his British accent. Hmmm...which is harder???!! Tebow vs. Elway? Hmmmm.....
10:01 PM: Why does my neighbor feel the need to set off illegal, left-over fireworks from 4th of July tonight????? Are the stupid Broncos doing or maybe not doin' something that someone cares, or does not care about? Why did he not learn from a week or two ago (whatever the that stupid happenstance was) that mis-placed fireworks might end up on his own stupid roof and gutters, which would need to then be replaced???? from an anonymous "I Hate Competitive Sports, but Especially Football" club.
*Likes her own status.
*Comment on her own status: ...and did I mention how much this frightens all the pets and other animals in the neighborhood????
10:19 PM: Really? A stupid f------" fire-cracker was worth whatever it was right now????? Why do we have to terrify neighbors and animals who have no interest whatsoever in your stupid competitive sports activities???????!!!!!!!
10:27 PM: I HATE BRONCOS!!!! I HATE ROCKIES!!!!! I HATE WHATEVER OTHER TEAM SPORTS EXIST IN THE STATE OF COLORADO THAT I DON'T KNOW ABOUT....(probably a lot of them?)
11:28 PM: Was just "chastized" by a young'un [no idea who she's talking about] who pretty much said I was railin' against what I professed. Well, guess that might be true to some extent, in that, yes, I am the dichotomy of "male vs. female," "power vs. not-power" groups. And I still believe that story extends itself into the maybe-not so evil elements of ordinary societal groupings such as "EVIL MAJOR ECONOMICALLY SUPOORTED" competive spo...rts teams! Reduce all the money invested in competive sports teams and we just MIGHT find some extra funds for low-income, head-start, or whatever ear-marked programs. When it comes to stupid sports, vs. essential educational, or pre-school programs, how can you be on the side of BRONCOS????!!!! or whatever stupid team sports there might be? I mean, seriously?
*Likes her own status.
*Comment on her own status: A dichotomy of us vs. them? Ya' really wanna' go there???!! I don't think so.
11:35 PM: Okay, may have to go next door to object. This is ridiculous. Really???!! Do we have to terrify all living creatures because there might be some stupid game-gain?
*Likes her own status.
11:36 PM: GIANT FIRECRACKERS????!!!!!! REALLY???!!
11:38 PM: Why do all living creatures have to be subjected to stupid us vs. them team sports activities??
*Likes her own status.
*Comment from random man #2: Damn fine rant you've gone on, [Facebook aunt]! You know I agree with you 100%.
11:39 PM: I HATE SPORTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*Likes her own status.
*Comment on her own status: But why is my microwave beeping at me?
12:01 AM: Is it over yet? If so, I can go over to my honey's.
Re: Because it is slow
It's a wonderful FB update!
*Comment on her own status: But why is my microwave beeping at me?.
I died.
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
*likes her own status.
Awesome!!
Patty? What do you think?
I didn't see these until the next day. H was checking FB and was like, "So, it looks like your aunt had quite a night."
I'm disappointed that she didn't decide to throw down with Mr. "Competitiveness and the will to win is what has made America great."
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
i am agog!
ha!! aunt vs. aunt was the best game i've seen in forever!
i really liked it when she equated a rerun of house to 'a life after sports'
was she hopped up on goofballs that night? i don't even know what to say.
I love people who like their own statuses. High esteem.
I have one friend who proudly posts about how he doesn't care about whatever major sports event is going on. Well buddy, I don't give a flying about what you are listening to on Spotify all damn day, so suck it.
One of my acquaintances posted this gem Friday.
Dumb Dude: I'm taking a poll. Is it prejudice to ask a black person if htey are working on MLK day? I asked a co-worker of mine two years ago if she was working and every year I get grief about it. I think it is a fair question, that as a black person she is entitled to take it off and there is nothing wrong with inquiring about it. Keep your comments free of racial slander please.
Me: I don't think it's racist, per se, but it is misguided and shortsighted. In asking that, you are insinuating that it's just a "black person's" holiday. It very much is not. MLK, Jr's positive impact has benefitted us all. He is a person who should be celebrated regardless of race.
DD: Well, yes MLK did benefit all races and types of people for civil rights however it was the black race that was primarily being oppressed during his movement, not the only ones but the primary ones. I agree that the day should be celebrated by all races but I still think there is nothing wrong inquiring if a black coworker is going to be a work that day...
I didn't respond because I was busy at my PT job by this point. He had a few more comments, but just "LOL, I remember when you did that" type of stuff. I just went back to look again so I could C&P (I ended up getting it from phone screenshots I took to share the stupidity), and I don't see it on his page, so I wonder if it got more heated and he deleted. Or if he blocked me from seeing some of his stuff.
Sounds like your aunt lives near my 'hood. I want to meet her...after I have had a couple of cocktails.
When I was in full teen angst and fancied myself an artist, I used to have similar rants about the local sports teams. I have since decided that I don't trust people that profess a hatred of all things sports. It seems anti-community or something to not be able to get a little lost in the excitement of an entire city cheering for something.
Jeez. I don't like sports either but I don't feel that strongly about it.
Oh, I mean COMPETITIVENESS IS RUINING OUR CULTURE AND OUR COUNTRY! BRONCOS SUCK!!!!!!!!!!
we all fall down sometimes
brass and ballet flats
I'm posting on SB's wall.
My MIL "likes" her own comments. She also comments on the same photo months later. I have photos that are two years old with four comments on them, all from my MIL. I have not yet learned how not to be really annoyed by it.
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
This is awesome.
And yeah, I don't get it when people get so much anger and hate towards something just because other people like it. I don't really like hockey, so I don't watch it. What do I care if other people do like it and want to watch/celebrate/post on FB/whatever. They're not making me do it.
My MIL has started posting those "inspirational" quotes, like "women are sisters 4 LYF, click 'LIKE; if you love your sisters!"-type shiit. Also, this:
I bet her FUPA's name is Shane, like the gunslinger/drifter of literature.--HappyTummy
This is me. I hate sports. All of them. HATE. I think once or twice I have felt a teeeeeeeny tiny twinge of excitement during a really huge play in a game DH has on but other than that I am a robot with no emotion except hate towards sports.
It sounds weird but I actually WANT to like sports, at least a little bit. I feel like it would give me more to talk about with certain people and it would be nice to hang out with DH more during certain times of a specific sport's season.