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Thoughts? RE: Staying with BF & Kids
So, once a month I have a 7 am meeting. The meeting is always on Wednesday, and in the past...the girls were with their Dad and it wasn't an issue. Recently, he switched his work hours (again!) and I now have them Wednesday. So, once a month there is an issue. The girls can't be dropped off to school until 8 am at the earliest, and I obviously have to attend a meeting.
Last month after much begging, exH agreed to swing by and pick the girls up early (I already had them up, dressed, ready for school, fed) and drop them at school on that day.
This month, he is not being cooperative...even though as part of the "deal" when he switched hours, he said he would help me out with this once a month thing. Whatever.
I'm to the point where I just want to no longer depend on him at all. It's exhausting and frustrating and I'm just tired of it.
So, I've asked my boyfriend if he'd be okay with us spending the night tonight (he lives out of town - 40 minutes round trip) so that I could get the girls up and ready and head to my meeting. Then he would take them to school. He is totally okay with it.
Does this seem like a good idea? As you all know, we've been together for over a year at this point. BF stayed all night at our house on Christmas Eve, and we did take an out of town trip over the previous summer so it isn't like it is something completely new for the girls. It would just be new in that we've never stayed at his house before.
Re: Thoughts? RE: Staying with BF & Kids
I don't have kids, so keep that in mind with my response.. but maybe ask the girls if they'd be ok with not only staying over there, but also being alone with him in the morning and being dropped off by him?
Not judging at all, just my first thought that maybe being alone with him would be very different than staying over with you there.
This also crossed my mind. My best guess is that they'd be thrilled because they adore him. But I would check with them, yes.
I agree with this, even though I don't have kids and don't really have a leg to stand on on this.
Also, why couldn't your BF stay with you all at YOUR house so at least your kids would be in their own home when they're alone with him?
He has a dog, which can't stay at my house per my rental agreement.
Hmm. Personally, if I were in this situation, I think I'd have a long, hard talk with XH, no matter how uncooperative he's being, and tell him that you really need his help on this.
I just can't say I love the alternative you proposed.
But again, I have no kids, and no leg to stand on. Just my very humble opinion. Good luck. Sounds like a tough situation.
At this point, right at this minute...he is not answering phone calls, emails, or texts. I am attempting to contact him to make arrangements and verify that he will be helping me. The major issue is that I'm a leader of this company wide meeting. As in, I have to be there. So I'm really quite stuck. I have no family in town, and really no friends that would be available to help me out.
I may ask BF if he can just come over early to my house so I can leave and he can take them to school from my house.
Since he would be helping me out, I'm trying to make it convenient for him too. And it's not that he minds, I just want to not put him out too much. My personal hangup.
Does your ex have things on his own schedule that prevent him from helping or is he not being cooperative just to be difficult?
He's just being difficult. He works overnights, and will literally be driving RIGHT BY MY HOUSE on his way home at around 6:30 am, which is basically when I need to be getting ready to walk out of my house to head to my meeting.
He's being an ass just to be an ass because he doesn't think he should have to "help me" so much.
And that is where he is failing as a parent. He should be looking at it as he is helping his kids. He might learn that someday...then again maybe he wont. LOL
Agree.
I like PDX's suggestion. Maybe this month you could ask your BF to swing by, then that gives you a month to figure out another option (like a babysitter)? I'm sorry your ex is being a douchenozzle.
good news!
I like the idea of looking into a babysitter who could sit that early on occasion.
Also, are you friendly with any parents that go to your girl's school? If you were buddy buddy enough with one, maybe they'd be willing to drop them off together, or you could drop them at their house with a note to ride the bus.
Our school system is a little weird. We can't just send them on the bus, I've actually looked into this. BFs sister's son goes to their school and it would be easy to just drop them off at her house (they've had sleep overs with her daughter, etc) but they won't bus them
I'd seriously consider texting exH "let me know about the morning. If you can't, BF will be happy to help out, but I thought I'd give you the first chance."
Do you have care.com in your area? They have postings for caregivers. I have a friend who found two great sitters that way (in her case, both were college students - she needed someone who could drive her kids after school to activities). An early morning might be great for some sitters.
Also, 1 day a month a friend might be able to help out.
Personally, I wouldn't have a problem with a boyfriend of one year coming to watch my kids, but I think it would be better if he just dropped by early, instead of the girls staying at his house.