Hudson Valley Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
how long did you wait to ttc?
it's been 3 years since my wedding. payed off the bills, bought the house. i always said i wanted to start trying and have one around 28, and one more around 30. so, the time has come and now it seems like its too soon. i stopped taking my birth control, but we haven't been trying. dh is for it either way, now or wait. it's me. for years i've been waiting for the time to be right, and now that everything is in place i'm freaking out all of a sudden. this happen to anyone, or am i losing it?
Down the rabbit hole...
Re: how long did you wait to ttc?
we didnt' wait very long, only a few months.
Seems like you have a lot in place - and the rest that you feel may not be ready,well, NOTHING can ever be totally ready.... or you'll spend your whole life waiting and trying to build that perfect scenario that may or may not exist.
I felt freaked out too when we started trying. It was like I had tried to prevent pregnancy my entire life, and suddenly i was doing the exact opposite.
However... before you try, make sure its just nerves, not second thoughts...
GL!
We married 1/06 and had DS 5/10 (little more than 4 years) and then BOOM a DD 15 months later 8/11.
I was a planner and had planned for 8/10 pregnancy and having a baby 5/11-- well someone had other plans and our plans were bumped up a year. We had debt, no house (moved in 4 weeks before DS was born).
Life is a challenge and I firmly believe no one is ever ready, but you adapt and take what life gives you and run with it.
Good Luck!
We were married in Sept 09 and I stopped my birth control that month and we were playing the whatever happens happens game. Well nothing happened until the following July, and DD was born in March 2011.
I don't think you are ever 100% ready, but like others have said, make sure your not second guessing and that it is just nerves.
life is unpredictable. go with your gut. my situation is different. We've been married 6.5 years and i have had losses. I held off ttc again for a while until i was ready in my heart, head and body to try again, not have my life 100% in order. sure no debt is great, a finished house would be sweet, $$$$ in the bank and a stamped passport would be awesome. we've been living with my family while our house gets put back together and my sis and her kid live here too. the highlight of my day is spending time with this little girl, having our titi (auntie) and niece routines and singing "opera" with her. spending these weeks with her and the other nieces made me realize what i was missing was not a x,y, z but a child (or 4).
if you have cold feet, wait. but really look at why you are waiting. parenthood is not for everyone and that is ok. you know what is right for you and when the time is right, if ever. i must add that as a woman of "advanced maternal age" (i am 36) know that it may be a possibility that you may have to look at other options (which is not the end of the world). refer back to my first sentence.
Either way, i hope you find your answer in your time.
Honey, the time is never "right". I was like you I wanted to be married, own a house, bills paid off, top pay at my job, etc. We got married and 2 months later I was off BCP, I didnt get a BFP until 17 months later. I am older than I wanted to be but it took me longer to hit the goals I had set for myself. So its a trade off, we are better off, finanically were more stable and since it took us so long to get pregnant we knew it was something we both really wanted since we were afraid it might never happen.
Also, if you have people whispering in your ear that your life is going to be flipped upside down and trying to scare you that could be influencing your decisions. Having a child does change your life, but for the better. Its messier and harder to be on time but its not as out of control as people make you think it will be.
We waited until we got to our hotel after our wedding. On our one year anniversary we celebrated at home with our 2 month onld ;-) But, my situation was also different thatn yours. I was 34 when we were married, already had an established career, had seen the world and had no doubt I was ready.
I'd look at what is really holding you back. Are there things you have said you want to accomplish (travel, career) before having kids? Is it about adding to your family when things are good now with just the two of you? Maybe do some journaling or brainstorming about what it is that might be holding you back.
I will tell you for certain that there is no such thing as a perfect time to have a child. There will always be things that you could have done, more money you could have in the bank, a more perfect house, etc. We are expecting our second child now in just a couple of weeks and, while we are thrilled, are in a less than ideal situation housing-wise (tiny 2BR condo). We thought we'd be in a larger home by now but haven't found the right one. Such is life...
Canon 50D, Canon 50mm f/1.4, Tamron 28-75mm f/2.8, Speedlite 430EX II
I am similar to Jen...we went on our mini moon and three days after getting married, she was conceived. We celebrated our one year anniversary with a three month old. I was 37 when I got married and DH was 46. We did not own our own home and I would have liked to have done that and been married couple for a bit before having a baby but I felt like this is what God wanted (not that I am overly religious).
And, i agree with other PPs, there is no perfect time to have a child.