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Was this posted and immediately deleted? An underreaction inside.
Intro and What Would You Do? Long.
I usually lurk on the 0-3
month board, but I need somewhere to turn to and I thought I would start
here 
My boyfriend and I have been dating for four years and recently
just had a little girl in November. Everything has been great, until
this weekend when I found some disturbing texts on his phone. It turns
out that my sister, E, ( who is married with three children) and my
boyfriend have been texting quite a bit. A little side note: E, E's
husband, and my boyfriend have been friends for a long time and we
frequently go on double dates and hang out at each other's homes.
Anyways, I had a feeling that something was going on. Idk why but I just had this feeling. So I ended up looking through BF's phone and found what some might call "sext" messages. Messages from my sister saying " We can get freakier this time." "Where you going to park your truck?" Needless to say, I quickly became upset because I thought these were two people that I could trust. BF immediately blamed his phone and said " you (me) sent those texts to me." After I called him a liar, he immediately started apologized, because obviously I never sent any such messages to him. He said that it was just a "joke". WOW absolutely hilarious. He said he never meant to hurt me and that he loves me and wants to be with me... Um yep that is all fine and dandy but why would you text my own sister dirty things, or anyone for that matter? AND it turns out he was sending her these messages while I was sitting in the same room 2 feet away from him. Classy.
So I did the natural thing and confronted my sister. She was obviously blindsighted and started apologizing. After the third or fourth apology, she ended up asking me if I was going to tell her husband? I said no because I was too embarrassed that this was even happening and I wasn't going to wreck her marriage like she did my relationship. She also said that it was a joke that got out of hand, and she never meant anything by it. She keeps on messaging me and calling me to apologize, but really its not helping anything. To make it worse we work with each other. I see her constantly and everytime I look at her, I get sick to my stomach! Sidenote: E has had a rough life, my father abused her , she got pregnant early and married the father of her child, which happened to be her high school sweetheart. Three children later and loads of problems, all three kids have undiagnosed disabilities. Doctors thought they all have Angelman Syndrome, but all tests have come back negative. So as of right now, no one knows what is causing their severe developmental delay. I mean they have even been to the Mayo Clinic, and all tests have come back inconclusive. I would give anything for those children, and have been their main babysitter for many years. All I keep thinking is that she is having a rough time, but does that make it okay to do something that hurtful to her own sister? Am I overreacting? I don't really know where I am going with this post, but I guess some advice would be helpful. It has only been a few days since I discovered those texts, but I can't seem to get over this. I usually can talk to my family about issues that I have, but obviously I can't this time.. And yes, I probably shouldn't have been looking through his phone but I couldn't help myself.
No this is not MUD, I am just a woman experiencing major drama in my life right now. So what would you do if you were in my shoes?
Re: Was this posted and immediately deleted? An underreaction inside.
Yes, and yes. I started to respond but was at a loss for words. I'm glad I didn't bother.
"I just can't seem to get over this" this being, her sister banging her boyfriend.
Well, Riley, if you're still here, you're underreacting. Even if there were no more to it than the texts, this is still a guy who, four years and a baby later, not only hasn't married you, but is also inappropriate with your sister. It's a dead-end relationship.
But there is more to it than the texts, I'm sure you realize. People don't joke about past fictional trysts and plan fictional future ones. They've been sleeping together. You know this.
As for your sister, having suffered doesn't entitle you to inflict suffering on others. She's a crappy person who doesn't give a damn about you, as evidenced by her sleeping with your boyfriend.
If I were you, I'd get rid of the boyfriend and send the baby with him so I could live my life with as much freedom as possible, and I'd print out the texts and give them to the sister's husband.All of this except take the baby with you. He doesn't deserve the innocent child. Dump the loser, dump your sister, tell her husband (he deserves to know) and get a new job and move somewhere far away.
God Kuus.
Hey look, its Riley's sister!!
Riley, you need to end it at the very minimum. You (should) already know this. Contact a lawyer about custody and child support. And yes, I think you can lean on your family for this if you need to. You may not want to give them all the nitty-gritty details, if you don't feel up to it yet.
I'd also recommend counseling so you can work on through this and be emotionally healthy for your LO.
I can honestly say that if I found out my boyfriend was sleeping with my sister, both of them would be removed from my life. Period. I'm sorry that your boyfriend and your sister have put you in this position and I'm especially sorry as mutual friends for many years that they've done this to your brother-in-law.
Yeah, this is where I am at. Sorry, OP. You need to dump both the loser and the sister. Good lord, that is a betrayal of trust on all fronts. You deserve so much better from your family member and your boyfriend.
Dude, welcome to the nest. If she didn't want it out there she should not have hit "post".
I think it will be trickier for the OP than just dumping the sister. As an aunt who loves and adores her nieces and nephew, I don't think I could ever cut my sister out of life, almost no matter what, because it would probably mean cutting my nieces and nephew out too.
I'd definitely dump the boyfriend, go for full custody, and as much child support as possible I'd also tell the brother-in-law.