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Talk me down from another real estate ledge
Disclaimer: You guys. I KNOW. I know I post about this incessantly. Just imagine what it's like inside my head. But it's slow and I don't have anything else to talk about (well, besides potty training, but I'll keep that on the bump). Feel free to ignore and go post your own thing.
Gah. The last question of today's QOTD reminded me of this and now I am totally stewing in it (not that I'm blaming you victoria! 
.
We have identified our dream neighborhood. I love it. Perfect sized houses, perfect little lots, mature trees, parks and schools in walking distance. Quick access to metro. Everything. I love it. We can't afford it. Yet. If we save super aggressively we could afford it by the end of this year or early next. I am not good at delayed gratification.
I've found a Perfect House in the Perfect Neighborhood and am obsessively looking at it on Redfin multiple times a day. It's a sickness. I know we couldn't afford it but I still want to see it with our realtor just so I can find something terribly wrong with it and stop thinking about it. (Don't worry, it's not the Chevy Chase house I posted below. I'm crazy but not that delusional.)
In the meantime, MIL wants us to buy a house around the corner from her. This would be totally ridiculous except that it's actually a nice house in a fine neighborhood and could be bought for a really decent price. I am so tempted to do it just to get the whole damn thing over with.
This is insane. I think I need a new hobby or something.
Re: Talk me down from another real estate ledge
if you can afford it. can tolerate living that close to your il's (i could NOT) and are happy with the schools, why not?
or save for your dream house in your dream neighborhood. but sometimes the grass isn't always greener on the other side.
good luck
When you say saving for a year will help you afford it, are you referring to just the minimum down payment, or the down payment that will make the monthly mortgage payments affordable and still allow you to maintain a lifestyle you are comfortable with.
When DH and I were looking, we had enough for a down payment in one of our dream neighborhoods, but we realized we would be really house poor with the mortgage payments. We wanted to be able to afford a house that we could comfortably live in one one salary in case something happened and allow us to comfortably maintain our lifestyle. I'm glad we did. The reality of paying for 2 (and likely three) LOs in DC was a whole lot harsher than we imagined. Plus within months of buying the house, DHs car died, we had roofing problems, the day to day operation of the house were more spendy... In other words, if we had stretched we would be very uncomfortable but because we set an affordability ceiling that worked for us, we are OK.
There were many houses that I obsessed over online, but when I got there the love affair ended. I'd go see it in hopes that this unhealthy relationship ceases.
And what is this super perfect neighborhood? You must tell us!
This is also true. Photos can be deceiving.
The later. DH has figured out how much we would need to put down in order for us to have a monthly payment in a comfortable range. Which is all smart and reasonable and whatnot but I want this house NOWWWWWW. Foot stomp.
I'm not going to broadcast the particular 'hood, but it's in Rockville.
House in MIL's neighborhood would be a perfectly lovely house. There are some issues (I don't love the kitchen or master bath), but at this price it would a contender in any location.
Yeah, I'm kind of hoping this is the case.
There is a house I have been stalking because it looked perfect but I recently went to the open house and it is so not perfect.
Personally, I might be tempted by the house near the ILs.
I would definitely look at it to get it out of your head. It's probably not going to be so perfect that you'll stew over not being able to buy the ONE for the next year. Have you looked at the house near your MIL yet, or have you just seen pictures online?
(Also, you don't really fuss about this all the time, unless I'm just skipping the right posts. It's really in your head :P)
I am going against the grain. DON'T go see the house. When we were looking, we saw the "perfect" house. I fell hard and fast. We could afford it, we put in an offer (full price, no closing, I want the house and will do anything to get it). We lost the house to investors who had cash (who has that kind of cash - b@stards!).
We bought another house. I am happy with it, but I will always love that other house. I pass by that house all the time (we bought in that same neighborhood).
Almost two years later, I still hate that I don't live in that house. Again, I like my house well enough, but oh, I loved that house!
I vote to go see both houses, and weigh the pros and cons of each, including neighborhood. If you aren't in love with the house or the neighborhood near MIL, and you don't love the house in the "perfect" neighborhood enough to make the stretch of making an offer now and managing the mortgage payments, then you just move on. But ditto everyone who said don't buy any house just b/c you are sick of looking.
DH and I LOVE our house. It is almost perfect for us in every way. But we HATE our neighborhood. HATE IT. If it wouldn't cost and arm and a leg to move, and of course the loss that we would take on our house, we'd be out of here. It is somewhat palatable for us now because we know that he will eventually get transferred and we'll have another shot at finding the perfect house, but if you are planning to stay in the area for ever or for even a long time, then make sure you love where you are going to live. Things can be done to change a property, but not much can be done to change a neighborhood.
I would rather eat ramen noodles everyday for the rest of my life in order to buy the dream house than live around the corner from my MIL.
Also, chances of your dream house still being available when you're ready are slim. Houses don't wait.
I'm all for throwing caution to the wind today. So, don't listen to me.
We make the rockin' world go 'round.
I would go look at both houses. It can't hurt right?
As someone who lives within 1/3 of a mile from the ILs, I have to say that I have absolutely no regrets and it has offered more benefits that I could've imagined for them, DH and I, and the kids. Of course it totally depends on the ILs but mine are great and don't have boundary issues so it works for us. We used to live 25 min away but now being around the corner has offered so many added benefits.
I'll give you a few examples:
1. When DH travels for work, they usually come over in the evenings for an hour or so to help me get the kids to bed. This wouldn't have been as easy when they were 25 min away.
2. They babysit a lot at our house and since it's so close it makes it easy for them. We typically put the kids to bed and then they come over and watch TV or hang out for a few hours so we can go do dinner (which is what they'd be doing anyway and since we are right around the corner, it's not a big deal).
3. When the kids are sick, they help out. They've also picked up and dropped of the kids at daycare.
4. When we get bored on the weekends, we drop in at their house and hang out there for a change of scenery or they come over to our house. It also makes things so much less formal. Before, I felt like if we invited them over (since it's a 25 min drive), it had to be for a meal (which meant planning, grocery shopping, cooking, etc). Now, we'll just say "we're around on Sat morning if you want to drop in after breakfast and hang out".
5. It makes it easier for us to help them with things (like computer issues, lifting things, putting together stuff, etc). We like to reciprocate and help them out too since they are older and retired.
6. But most importantly, I enjoy our relationship and the relationship they have with our kids. My oldest adores her grandparents and I love seeing their relationship since I never had a close relationship with my grandparents (they both lived 14+ hours away). I also like having the extra support for DH and I. It's just been wonderful all around for everyone involved.
So, I wouldn't rule out living near the ILs if they are normal and reasonable people that you like.
We have visited the house in the in laws 'hood. MIL and Neighbor gave us a tour this past weekend (it's not on the market yet). It's not perfect, but it's quite nice.
There would be some serious pluses and minuses to living that close to M&FIL. We love being relatively near family (we're 20-45 minutes from all three sets of parents now) and this set of grandparents is an invaluable help when it comes to C. But there have been some boundary issues in the past.
And BTW, Perfect Neighborhood is only like 4 miles away from the in laws. Everything we're looking at is in the same general area.
Is it ridiculous to think that setting ground rules could even work in a situation like this? Like "no pop-ins"? Or "no unsolicited maintenance/decor/etc. advice"?
I'm guessing that works for roommates but not parents . . .
I have no sound advice. I just want to say that I love your regards to line. I feel like this all the time. I grew up in a SFH in a LCOL area. We live in a perfectly fine townhome and it is enough for right now. But I am on a 5 year plan to buy my SFH, and I pour over the real estate websites too. We are in the middle of refinancing to a lower rate so we can add more to our savings and met with a real estate agent this weekend who was encouraging us to 'buy now due to interest rates' etc. SOOOO tempting!!! I don't know what I am going to obsess over when I do get into my SFH!
My FIL passed away a long time ago and my H has always said that eventually my MIL will move in with us. I am NOT looking forward to this day. Then, he points out that we will be able to combine our downpayment amounts for a much bigger SFH. Very tempting but then reality sets in and I think, gosh, I would see and hear her every d&^% day!
@Whoo - two words: inlaw suite. It'll save your sanity.
OP: Don't settle. Save up and buy a house in your dream neighborhood - but DON'T go see the house now. It'll just hurt that much more when it gets sold.
LOL. I would agree to an extent. I think it really comes down to how they are without the ground rules. Do you feel they overstep their boundaries now and how have they been when you tried to set boundaries or offered feedback on certain things?
Dr. Phil always says "the best predictor of future behavior is past behavior". So I would think a lot about how you feel about them now because chances are that they won't change much.
But with all of that being said, it can work really well. We've never had to set any ground rules with DH's parents. I think we have healthy boundaries. If anything, we probably impose more on them.
But back to the house - if you plan to be in your house for 10+ years, I would wait it out for your dream house.