February 2008 Weddings
fireytiger
member
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
BC issue and DH is freaking out, little bit of TMI lol.
So due to a series of unfortunate events, I never managed to make it to my annual pap smear for the year, and I've now run out of packs of pills. Now we have no insurance because DH had to quit his job, so my options are either go to Planned Parenthood and waste an entire day waiting for them to spend 10 minutes with me (and then pay out the nose for the visit because I have no insurance), or go off of BC pills. DH is freaking the hell out! We never had much luck with condoms (TMI moment, he's uncircumcised AND is allergic to latex, and his foreskin kept catching on the non-latex condoms and pulling them right off), so I went on the pill to remedy that situation. However, i'm really not feeling like spending money we don't have just to get more pills, especially considering in 6 months once things settle down we want to start TTC. So i'm wanting to try a different form of BC. DH is adamantly against it though, he says I HAVE to be on the pill until we're ready to have kids, completely ignoring all evidence of other forms of BC being just as effective as the pill anyway. Ugh. What the heck am I supposed to do here?
Re: BC issue and DH is freaking out, little bit of TMI lol.
Call your Planned Parenthood, they got me on Badgercare (a Wisconsin thing, but your state probably has something similar) even when I had insurance (they wouldn't accept the kind I had). I ended up getting all of my bc for free for 3 years. They just asked for a donation, which I definitely gave them! Yes waiting for hours (normally with some shady people haha) just to answer some questions with a doctor is ridiculous, but you only have to do it once a year.
Oh and buy some girl scout cookies, I hear they partner with Planned Parenthood.
ETA: They also have other options other than birth control pills, I was on the patch for quite some time which was nice, but it messed with my stomach a lot so I switched to the pills.
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Married
Oh yeah definitely think about that! We have insurance right now, and my trip to the ER for spotting (because my OB office was closed) is costing me over $1000. That's not counting all of the other visits I owe for, and I have insurance! I can't imagine the damage an uninsured pregnancy could do.
I would call PP again and discuss the medical bills that you have had for your H this year. PP is definitely a sliding fee scale and I think a more in depth conversation with them will allow them to provide more flexibility in the cost for the services they provide to you. Also, try to schedule your apt times for first thing in the morning in order to avoid long wait times.
Have you looked into Medicaid? I am not sure how much you make but I would definitely look into it.
I AM willing to do the charting method, or even try condoms again just to see if maybe we can find a way to make them work. Honestly, we don't have sex really all that often, so for a long time i've felt like taking the pill is kind of a waste, but at least it was only 8 dollars before. I'm REALLY not willing to spend over 100 bucks to see the planned parenthood nurse and have to take a day off of work without pay to do it, and THEN still have to pay 25 bucks a month for a pack of pills. I know any other options will cost money, but not THAT much money.
I am interviewing for a job that has excellent benefits that start the first day of the month following your start date. I really think i'm going to get this job, but it does mean a gap in insurance for a couple months. If I get insurance and we decide that no, we aren't ready for a little one yet, then I'll consider going back on the pill. But I think in the meantime I'd really rather try another option that isn't going to cost us so much money right now.
I agree with this.
Paying for the BC pills and the visit is way better than getting prego right now. Go to your state web site and see what types of programs they have also - you never know. But I think if PP factors in the medical bills from H's situation you will qualify.
I know this seems really crazy stressful right now, but the financial stress you will endure if you were to have a child now without insurance, is more than crazy stress - it's out of your mind stress. Plus, if you were to start health insurance later, many do not take pre - exisiting conditions, including pregnancy.
What state do you live in?
I would say you need to sit down and have a serious discussion with your H about this. Maybe do some research on the Natural Family Planning method and show him how if used correctly it can be very reliable. You can watch the tutorial videos on Fertility Friend online to learn about it or read Taking Charge or your Fertility (I think there is a website too). You pretty much only have two options it seems. Go to planned parenthood or start charting. Personally if I was in your place and I knew we wanted to start TTC in 6 months I would want to just stay off BCP and chart because it can take your body a few months to regulate after you get off the pill. That is what I am doing now. We aren't ready to TTC until this spring but I am off my pills and charting to learn my body so that when we are ready to actually start TTC nothing will hold us back.
But if you and your H really feel more comfortable staying on birth control for 6 more months it seems you should just go ahead and go to planned parent hood. Like PPs have said - it is cheaper then having a baby!
I know it can be scary to go off the pill but I have really started to like charting and feel comfortable with it. H understands what I am doing and supports me so that really helps. When I first brought it up he looked at me like I was crazy.
I was able to get free BC (and the same kind I had already been on) through PP during the year and a half I was uninsured. It was a god-send! I just had to fill out some paperwork that declared my income, I got approved, and they even MAILED me my pills each month so I didn't even have to pick them up anywhere.
I also ditto that even though BC full price is terribly expensive, it's much cheaper than an unexpected pregnancy (especially without insurance)/a baby.
Good luck!
My Crafting Blog
Married Bio
Call your old doctor and see if she'll call 2 or 3 months worth of BC pills to the pharmacy to hold you over for a few months. The pharmacy may be willing to call themselves.
I have a friend who uses some sort of spermicical film that's inserted up there. She highly recommends it as an alternative to condoms.
You could always see if you can get samples from a physician.
You could even try one of those Care Now places. I honestly don't know too much about bc. Personally NFP worked 6 months for us, exactly what we wanted and two years for my sister. I know countless people who use it and are happy with it. If you can get something for now and possibly use that for a long term cost saving choice.
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I agree, perhaps you can look into Medicaid. Some of my employees have qualified for Medicaid benefits and it really helped them.
If you don't qualify for Medicaid, then I'd suggest you and your H talk more seriously about your options in relation to your finances. I'd suggest staying on the pills if you can afford it because it's a method of BC your H is most comfortable with. If you can't afford pills, then your only other options are to try condoms again or turn to natural family planning/charting. Hopefully your H will be open to trying a natural method if you can share with him how effective it can be.
Married Bio
Planning Bio
not meaning to flame, but people who get pregnant charting aren't careful enough. DH and I have been charting for the last 1.5 years and no scares, no oops, not pregnant. It works if you put the effort in and have BOTH parties on board. it's honestly not hard, but people get lazy and then "omg i'm pregnant, nfp doesn't work". If you start using the rythm method instead and think "I ovulated around this time last month, so it must be the same" you're more likely have a blessing whether you wanted it or not. It's not for everyone, not going to lie. I got DH on board and I honestly think it made him more intune with what the hell actually goes on with a female's body. And like PP said, if you're going to TTC soon anyways, you might as well start charting now. You'll be able to time getting pregnant that much easier.
It takes a commitment between husband and wife to be careful and to either abstain or use some other form. TMI - during super fertile, you may not be able to have full on intercourse but there are certainly other ways to make each other happy if you kwim.
Is there a course nearby that you could take on NFP? I was on the pill for 10 years, and I can honestly say that I'm SO SO happy I don't have to pay for those every month, let along all the crap it does to your body.
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All of this. Also, if you plan to TTC in 6 months or so, you want to be going off the pill now. It can take your body up to a year to regulate after coming off BCP.
I can attest to that. It took a full year for me to finally be completely "normal". There was a lot of wtf is going on this month type things, hahaha
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My cycles are pretty regular, either on or off of the pill. The reason I kept staying on the pill for so long and not looking into something else is because it did make my periods lighter for a long time, but I found sometimes it'd get so light that I'd have NO period, and then it would stress me out thinking I might have gotten pregnant somehow. At least when I'm not on the pill, there's no doubt that i'm having a period, lol. And now after 10 years the pill that i'm taking isn't working right anymore, I keep having two periods every month. For the week of my ovulation I have heavy "spotting" the equivalent of a period for a week, and then I still have my period at the end of the month. It's annoying as heck. And I don't have the money or the desire to try out new pills until I find a new one that stops that, but doesn't mess with my body or make me act psychotic or something, lol. And again, we're planning on TTC in 6 months ANYWAY, and one way or another i'm going to have insurance in the next month or so (either through my current job or the new one).
I feel like DH and I are at an impasse, he wants me on the pill because that's the form HE'S comfortable with, but I guarantee if he were the one who had to sit at PP for 3 hours, and fork out a hundred bucks or more to have someone poke and prod him and stick stuff inside him, then have to pay to take another pill every day that messes with his body and can cause hormone fluctuations, weird side effects, etc. just to avoid pregnancy, he wouldn't do it. And i'm tired of doing it. I guess what I really want is for him to take a little of the responsibility here to prevent pregnancy, instead of making it all up to me, and telling me to take something whether I want to or not. Meh. I have this weekend off, hopefully I can make him sit down and have a serious conversation about this.
Fire - you sound exactly like me when I had enough. Two periods a month ON the pill.
DH was very unsure about charting. I started reading Taking charge of your Fertility and bombarding him with informatin. B!tching about having 2 periods a month on the pill for a while finally made him wonder about charting and if it would help make me "me" again.
We started charting using the TCOYF book. We followed the instructions to the letter and added a day or two on either side. Then we took a class with a couple and DH was sold after that. The fact that the teaching couple talked more to him than to me was amazing. It's like they know the guy will likely haven't the biggest hang ups about it and they put him at ease.
Have you told YH about him taking some of the responsibility? sometimes they don't really now how important something is to you until you tell them point blank.haha
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