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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Dating dog owners question
First off I have no problem with dogs or those who look at their dogs as their children if you will.
Well BF has a dog that he loves but does not and cannot really leave over night or for super long periods of time. Things are moving super slow in the physical department, but I just wonder how overnights (even non-sexi ones, I like to cuddle people) would work. The dog sleeps with him, he probably wouldn't have the dog over to my apartment (when I move) - plus DD is my place obviously. Do overnights just not really happen? I know this is way in advance thinking here, but I just wonder and obviously I have not dated in a long time and did not have a child then either. Also preface this may be a stupid post 
Re: Dating dog owners question
Does he have anyone that he would trust to let the dog our or stay with the dog overnight ever?
Our dog & cat both sleep in bed with us every night, so it's not something that bothers me. But, I live with BF and neither of us have children, so it's not something we've ever had to figure out. Are dogs allowed in your apartment that he could bring the dog for overnight stays?
Unfortunately my future apartment allows pets for a fee, but I have a cat plus he has a rather large dog that needs more time around DD before they could be in a confined space such as my small apartment together. If I had my own house no problem. He has his own place and I could have my parents watch DD overnight occasionally and have - but I have always been back by the time DD wakes up (early am). I have slept on BF's couch a couple times when he sleeps in his own bed if we were out really late. Again not there yet, but if (and I hope) we have a future - logistics count
Egh..I feel for you. When we first started dating, I made my H banish the dogs from his bed and bedroom...there is something about a dog sleeping in bed. We were lucky in that he had a house w/5 bedrooms so we just made a dog room. Can he do something like that with his dog? How old is the dog? Is he house or crate trained?
I think this is a reasonable question, and one that I have thought about a little. I have 2 big-ish dogs and I can't leave them overnight or for super long periods of time either. They have to be let out, fed, etc. My previous neighbors were wonderful about letting them out if I was going to be gone for a while, but I did not want to wear them out caring for my pets. I have a new neighbor, and she has let them out for me once.
My dogs sleep with me, but they are perfectly capable of sleeping on the floor on on their own beds. I don't think it would be a problem for me to have someone over, but for me to spend the night, the dogs would basically have to be welcome. I don't mind occasionally asking for a neighbor to help me out, but then it becomes a job for them, which is an expense for me, and strains that relationship. My pups put a damper on my social life, for sure!
Is there a reason he would not want the dog to come to your new place?
Does your DD have allergies?
SO had/has a god when we started dating. We were LD so when I flew down to see him the first time, the dog was crated that night for a couple reasons (1) the crate is his safe place and (2) SO didn't want to make me uncomfortable. We got to have great quality time together without the dog interferring.
By night 2 of my stay, I told SO the dog could sleep on the bed with us (not sure, you know, but for sleep) ha ha. The dog has always slept with SO. The dog still sleeps with us now that we live toegther.
I am a big animal lover, so the dog was never an issue for me. When SO would come to visit me, he would take the dog to daycare. If we were local, he'd likely bring the dog over if we didn't live together, but again, I have no issues with this.
If you have DD and can't leave her, then the only option I see if him bringing the dog or boarding the dog. That can get crazy expensive though.
The GOOD news is, this almost gives you two a little more time to get to know each other without added pressure. He has a dog, you have a child, and you won't rush things
ETA: If you have a small apartment, that causes an issue. We also had a horrible time getting my cat and his dog to get along (that is a whole other story). But overall, if you guys decide there is a future here, you'll need to rent a MUCH bigger place for everyone. If you have at least 2 bedrooms, you could possibly put the cat or the dog in there overnight. Or even if you have an extra room with a door...
If it is THAT big of a dog, is there a dog park close by that you and SO could go to let the dog take out some energy (if the dog stayed or something).
I would also ask your apartment on it's pet policy. Just b/c it requires a fee doesn't mean you can't have the dog there. If you let them know that once a month the dog will stay overnight, you can ask if that is ok without an extra fee. It's not like the dog is going to be there 24/7. Be upfront and ask them!
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I dated a guy long distance for a few months, and I would hire a pet sitter every other weekend when I went to visit him. That can get pricey if it's every weekend though.
If things turn serious, can you go to his place?
I have three dogs and a cat. I can't leave one too long as she is incontinent and can't hold it very long.
2 of the 3 dogs and the cat sleep in bed with me. When the BF sleeps over, we all sleep in the bed. I have a king sized bed.
I do leave mine overnight sometimes when I spend the night with the BF. They're fine. I just make sure I let them out late late and get up early and head home. I also live .6 miles away from the BF, so it really isn't a big deal for me.
They see us rollin'...they be hatin'.
BF has a dog, and while she is crate trained, we can't leave her over night unless we get a dog sitter.
In the beginning I would spend most nights at his place (plus XH hadn't moved out of my house). I also evicted the dog from the bed room because she would wake me up 10 times a night when she would get up and do this total body shake (it was super loud and I get like no sleep as it is). She adapted VERY well to her new bed location by the pellet stove, much warmer for her anyway. And both BF and I get much better sleep. And now she has the kitten to sleep next to, because the baby isn't allowed in the bed room either.
When he did spend the night at my house and since we both work together, he would bring her crate for during the day, the container with her food/water bowls, food and treats, and i bought a pillow for her to sleep on in my living room.
I can't imagine leaving my dogs alone overnight. They would freak out even if someone let them out. I don't think they even sleep when we are not home (like when we are at dinner/shopping). No dog can really be left alone for long periods of time, they need to eat, be let out etc. That's just the reality of being a pet owner.
I have brought my dog to someone's apartment overnight and they didn't have to pay a pet fee. Generally pet fees are only if the pet is there the majority of the time. If your apartment is really small though, I guess you'd either be going to his house or spending nights apart. Pet sitting/boarding is expensive just to be able to spend 8 hrs at someone's house sleeping.
I have a dog. In the beginning, I would bring her crate with me if I wanted to stay overnight at his house and she'd sleep in her crate. She's a medium-sized dog, so it was a hassle bringing the crate, but not completely unmanageable. Now, I have a pop-up crate that I keep at his house and she sleeps in it when I stay over there.
He does not believe in allowing dogs on the bed, but that works fine for me because my dog is not allowed on my bed anyway.
Thanks for all your input ladies!
The dog would probably not be satisfied staying at DD and mine's future place, it is pretty small and even small with the baby gate blocking things. Huge "back yard" though, but right now of course it is freezing and I am not sure what BF does in the nicer weather - but I think the dog still sleeps with him.
It is a medium sized dog I guess but he loves to cuddle and is big for his size I guess you could say. He is in the basement usually when BF is gone, but is all around his house when he is home.
DD is not allergic that I know of, but she is young still and my XH had general allergies so you never know.
The dog was in BF's life first so I would never ask him to crate or change things with his dog as this point - if things got majorly serious - to the talk of moving in and marriage/partnership, then we would obviously have to have a discussion and integration with/about the dog situation because XH will not have DD for overnights until age 3 or later.
I do love that BF is a good "doggie daddy," shows promise and commitment IMO. Ah, got to love pining away