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Am I being unreasonable?
Background: We have two weddings coming up this summer. One of our bridesmaids (friend since I was 12) is getting married in NY and one of our groomsmen is getting married here in FL. Neither of us are in either of the weddings. The weddings do not overlap.
The bachelor party for the groomsman may overlap with the wedding in NY. DH has said that if they overlap, he's not going to NY with me. I'm pissed. I do not want to go to this wedding by myself. Even though it is a good friend, we do not have many mutual friends at this point in our lives so I will be on my own for the most part. I think it's more important that we be at the groomsman's wedding than DH being at the bachelor party but he disagrees. There are still plenty of guys going to the bachelor party so it's not like DH will be leaving his friend hanging if he doesn't go, and I know the friend won't be pissed. He's just not that kind of guy.
What really annoys me is that this trip has been planned for a while, we just haven't booked the tickets yet so now he's wanting to backtrack. Am I unreasonable for being pissed?
Re: Am I being unreasonable?
Oh hell no. You are totally in the right. He's not even IN the wedding party! Are non-bridal party members usually at the bachelor parties? I try to really pick and choose my battles and this is one I would pick.
I feel the exact same way. As for non-bridal party members going to bachelor parties, they're pretty good friends. He's one of our regular group that always gets together. DH was actually a little surprised he wasn't in the bridal party. I don't think it's weird for him to want to go, but I don't think it should take precedence over the NY wedding especially since he's not in the wedding.
Yeah, if he was in the bridal party then I could see where the debate would come in. Not in this case though. This seems cut and dry. Wedding. /gavel
I have to agree with all of this logic. If it was a best friend, relative, or at least if I was in the wedding, I might send DH to the NY wedding alone. However, with all that you've told us, I think he needs to be in NY with you.
I'm trying to imagine friends of ours that would fit the same description you've given, and in the scenario I'm picturing in my head, it's something we would have to discuss, but I don't think there'd be an obvious "winner" right away. I would be more pissed that he just informed me that was what he was going to do than if we talked about it and decided together it was ok.
(In my hypothetical scenario, I'm imagining one of DH's best friends. If we were to replace that with just a good friend that we hang out with on a regular basis, then I feel the result of the conversation would skew more toward the NY wedding. So I guess it kind of depends on how close all the parties involved are. But I do think it's worth discussing, and not something either party dictates.)
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