So, maybe I'm just a weird case where my sex drive is high and his is... tamed... for lack of a better word. I'm 22, he's 27, so maybe it's just that I'm still all full of horomones, honeymoon mindsets, and just craving passion all the time. He says it's not me, he's just stressed out about work or about other things so he'd rather game. We have talked about this multiple times, but being rejected constantly isn't exactly easy on the self confidence.
So, how do I keep sex in a young marriage when gaming and stress seem to be ringing his sex drive dry?
I've started to work out and that seems to help on the self confidence level. I still feel like we didn't get that natural honeymoon period though, and I feel like I'm missing out on something. We haven't gone on our honeymoon yet (I'm still in school, waiting on the semester to finish - he HAD to have 11/11/11) so I'm wondering if that will help pull him into de-stressing a more... physical... way that lusting after the red head in Mass Effect 2?
Xoxo
Re: Where's the articles about him not wanting sex?
What you are experiencing could also be an adjustment thing.
What you and he need to to: talk at length. yeah, you said you and he already have encroached the topic -- what is important here:
Communication
That the both of you work on this issue together, to an end that the both of you find satisfactory and satisfying.
First off, get him off the video game console and into bed. My boyfriend and I moved in together and are relatively young (he's turning 20 in a week and I'm 22). Anyway, a video game should never come before sex ever! At least in my mind it shouldn't. If my boyfriend is playing on the computer I will come and first rub his shoulders and then if that doesn't get his attention I'll just sit on his lap and be straight up about the fact that I want sex, haha. Not saying you have to be that direct, but you need to talk to him and tell him that you feel the sexual intimacy is lacking in your relationship and make it clear to him that it's a problem.
Does he have self esteem issues or issues of a sexual nature like premature ejaculaction? If the answer is yes, maybe he should go get some professional help. Talk to him and communicate above all else though.
same. I have tried just about everything i can think of. but his xbox always seems to important to him.
I completely understand. We got married last Saturday (had a short honeymoon), and already I'm experiencing problems! I had to beg him to have sex Monday night! Two days after we got married!!! He says he is just tired, but then I don't understand why he is watching movies and playing videogames until midnight - thus gaining 5 hours of sleep!
I told him to have sex every night with me for a month, and maybe then I'll feel like only having it three or four times a week.
So just what were you expecting? Some sort of award and reward?
He's backed off for probably two reasons. #1 he can't shake off in a few days the mental conditioning. Of being told for 10-15 years that sex is an evil dirty sin. #2 Maybe sex didn't live up to the expectations he had and he's disappointed or even resentful for waiting for "nothing".