Relationships
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Questions for people
Mod -- how's your couch to 5k going? What week are you on now?
PDXdria -- any updates on your bro?
Who is Duckis' designated buddy that will notify us of her labor and delivery?
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Re: Questions for people
Mod -- how's your couch to 5k going? What week are you on now?
Well thanks for asking. I finished week 3 today and start week 4 Sunday. I am approaching it fairly differently this time, last time it was really important to me that I ended up running 5k races and once I started doing that I was all "ooh I want to run Bay to Breakers and maybe a half marathon and and and". Frankly that was too much and I felt overwhelmed and stopped. This time I just want to get to a point where I blearily stumble out of bed 3 times a week and run 2.5 or 3 miles and be done with it.
Who is Duckis' designated buddy that will notify us of her labor and delivery?
I hope it's me. I think she has my cell # for texting
Book Review Blog
If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy
Oof. Nothing positive. I can't remember where I left off...just before I came back home, he was released form the hospital with a prescription for anti-psychotics. The plan was for him to live with my parents because he really doesn't do well on his own. Well, he threw a giant hissy and my mom and dad just couldn't deal with him constantly trying to "escape" so they gave in and gave him his car and house keys (which, you'll remember, they own both of).
He promised to take his meds, though...which lasted like a week. He is insistent that there is nothing wrong with him, that we all just don't understand what he's been through and his "abilities". Dad tried to get him in to this great cognitive therapy program, but he freaked out at the first meeting and won't go back.
He tells my dad he hates him all the time. He wants everyone to leave him alone...except to give him money. And a house. And a car. But other than that, leave him alone because he's an adult, dammit. Except that he's now experiencing severe cognitive decline, which can happen with schizophrenia. He's forgotten how to use his cell phone and computer. He leaves doors, windows, the fridge, etc open almost like he has dementia. He blames this on the fact that the psych took him off his ADD meds (since he doesn't have ADD and they were actually making the delusions worse).
So truly, he can't live alone even if he's not actively hallucinating, but until he concedes that he's not well, it's hard to see how my parents can truly "force" him to live with them and have any semblance of a life for themselves, and they can't force him in to a residential setting either. He will likely wind up in the hospital again when his delusions get worse. My parents abandoned the guardianship petition at the advice of his hospital psychiatrist. All we really hope for at this point is that his psych is right and that this is part of the process and that eventually he'll recognize he needs help.
So yeah. Not good. My poor parents, they're so stressed. My mom has always liked her wine (it's how classy people get drunk!) and she's imbibed a little more than usual through all this. Which pisses my dad off, and he plans to confront her about it...so I'm worried about that too.
It's really, really hard not to resent the shiiit out of my brother right now.
The poster formerly known as PDXPhotoGrl
The poster formerly known as PDXPhotoGrl
Oh man, PDXdria, that sucks. I was hoping he would have been headed in the right direction by now. Your poor family. It can't be easy to be told that it needs to get worse than it is before it can get better. I just hope he doesn't hurt himself or anybody else when he hits that point.
Keep us updated, okay?
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Sorry you're dealing with all that PDX. I hope thinks start to turn around soon.
Book Review Blog
If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy
Oh man, I'm sorry PDX. That blows. Hugs and stuff.
I keep trying to start the C25K. I did two days last week, then we were beset with the plague. Then I started over this week only to be hit with round two of the plague yesterday. I'll start over again next week. I will not be discouraged! (I'm a little discouraged.)
Does it get any easier, fighting this urge to place blame? I just feel so MAD at him all the time and I know it's so unproductive and unfair. My sister feels the same way. We both feel like, here we are, as successful and loving and dedicated as two daughters could be, and our loser psycho brother gets all of the attention and resources and has for the past 10 years. And I know it's precisely because we don't need it and he does...but it doesn't stop me from resenting him.
And all we really want is for our parents to be able to enjoy being empty-nesters like they deserve, to travel and spend leisure time with their kids and grandkid, and they can't.
I mean, your situation was way way worse, Wendy, but does this feeling ever get any better?
The poster formerly known as PDXPhotoGrl
Not Wendy but successful dedicated daughter with two psycho brothers that are destroying her parents. It gets different. The raw wound I have over feeling like my brothers get the time, attention, resources and frankly love, scabs over and I have learned (for the most part) how not to put myself in situations where that feels so obvious and causes pain. I have also learned (most of the time) that my parents are making the CHOICE to give their time energy attention and resources to my brothers. If there is a group like Al-Anon or Nar-Anon for families of those with mental illness, I would make the time to go.
Book Review Blog
If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy
I feel you, man. I think I might finally bet getting over my mancold, so I'll be trying to get back to running next week again. Except that the weather forecast for the next 10 years is going to be torrential downpours. Hooray.
"That chick wins at Penises, for sure." -- Fenton
Book Review Blog
If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy
Crap...I Mean Crafts
I'm sorry pdxria. I know the resentment. It hasn't gotten better for me yet, but I think that's because they're right here and because my parents have never been good at not playing favorites. So while I know it's because she needs it, my parents have also always bent over for her anyways.
Maybe I'll mature out of resenting that. As much as things can suck in my life, I'd still rather be me, even without the extra attention, kwim?
"The meek shall inherit the earth" isn't about children. It's about deer. We're all going to get messed the fuckup by a bunch of cloned super-deer.- samfish2bcrab
Sometimes I wonder if scientists have never seen a sci-fi movie before. "Oh yes, let's create a super species of deer. NOTHING COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG." I wonder if State Farm offers a Zombie Deer Attack policy. -CaliopeSpidrman
I certainly wouldn't say my situation was way worse, but honestly, the only thing that made it better for me, is not having to deal with it anymore.
I still resent my mom for the things she did, but at the end of the day, I don't have to deal with it on a regular basis anymore so it can't control my life. Same goes for the ex-husband.
I know it's nearly impossible, but the more you can remove yourself from the details, the better off you are. This too shall pass.
I love running in the rain. I was convinced I would hate it and avoided it forever, but then it poured for my second half marathon and it was awesome. I'll take rain and cold over sweltering heat any day.
Book Review Blog
If I were a man (or fitty) I'd totally call my penis THE WIZARD - HappyTummy
The poster formerly known as PDXPhotoGrl