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Instead of whining about my vacation,
I'll recall it as a series of funny mishaps.
#1: The upgraded us to a handicapped room with a balcony (we were supposed to have a shitty room b/c we were there on H's employee rate), so that was great. The bellman says, "Usually the rooms are not this big, but it's meant for people...[kinda points at me and makes a sad face]". Thanks, buddy! lol Then I see the handicapped shower - it's just a wide open shower with a railing under where the showerhead is, no bench or place to sit. So I basically have to crutch into a slippery shower, stand there the whole time and try not to slip and kill myself once I get out. I wonder WTF they think people in wheelchairs are gonna do?! Anyway, we brought one of the chairs from the balcony in there and it worked out fine.
#2: So we spend the next day on the beach. I love the beach, but I'm Irish and I burn, so I usually spend a good amount of time in the water. Not so easy on crutches, but I was happy to find that I was able to crutch pretty well on the sand. So eventually we decide I'm getting my ass in the ocean. I crutch down to the shore, drop my crutches and hop on H's back... and then fall on my ass because he wasn't ready. Attempt 2 is successful, and I spend some time enjoying the water.
Then we realize that getting out is going to be slightly more difficult. I swim into as shallow water as I can, and H helps me up. It's still knee deep, I fall backwards and start to regret the whole thing. H ends up dragging me by my armpits onto the beach (hello bikini bottom full of sand!) and then helping me up so I can crutch back to the chairs. It was totally worth it and I'm sure we entertained a few people while we were at it.
#3: I ended up with a sunburn on my thighs, except for a handprint on each one. I think when I reapplied spf50 to my arms, I must've wiped the excess on my legs. Sadly, this is not the first time I've done this. There is also a particularly burnt stripe on my right forearm - I have no idea how that one happened.
I'll do a separate post about the wedding. 
Re: Instead of whining about my vacation,
LOL - trust me, we were cracking up ourselves!
Your posts make me smile. It sucks you're still "crutchin' around" but at least you have great stories, and you can still get drunk!