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Anyone just too judgmental to do online dating?
I was talking to someone tonight who was telling me about their coworker over-sharing about his online dating adventures. Apparently he's getting a lot of first dates, but nothing beyond that. Since I've read a lot on here about funny profiles, I was curious and said we should check out his profile on Match to see if maybe his pics are REALLY GOOD (as in, they don't look like him) and the girls are turned off when they see him in person, or if there's something else that seems to be drawing them in. While we were looking, I couldn't help but make a mental note of the men I saw on there. I came to the conclusion that I just might be too judgmental to ever try to do online dating. Nearly every photo had a negative for me.
I don't want a guy who is obsessed with his car, so guys with pics in or on their cars were OUT.
No frat boys. I'm in my 30's and have very little patience for guys who never matured past 22.
No overly groomed guys. I don't want to date someone who takes as long as I do to get ready.
No one who had anything cheesy (ImThe1_4_U) or desperate (Give_me_a_chance) in their username.
No one whose picture included them wearing any type of pro sports apparel. My ex was obsessed with sports beyond belief and I got SO tired of having to live my life around what game was on or him needing to get to a computer to manage his fantasy teams.
No one who was clearly lying about his age. I saw men who looked old enough to be my father who claimed to be 39. Yeah...sure you are.
No one whose pic looks like a mugshot. (I honestly saw one of these)
No one with Myspace bathroom mirror pics.
...and certainly not the little short overweight guy whose screen name was "pothead####" and was holding a half-empty bottle of Crown Royal in his hand.
So as I am trying to heal from my failed marriage, I think I also need to work on figuring out exactly what I'm looking for. Those criteria up there seem to eliminate 99.9% of the online profiles in my area! LOL
(ETA: This is totally tongue in cheek and in no way meant to be THAT serious. I was very entertained by the odd display of douchebaggery in my local area.)
Re: Anyone just too judgmental to do online dating?
I met my stbxh online through a chatroom of all places... but only to find out that we used to play together as kids and our families knew each other through mutual friends. That made me feel better about pursuing a relationship with him to begin with. However I don't know if I would go the online route again. The idea of dating is the furthest thing from my mind and I can't even picture myself getting back out there anytime soon. Like years... lol
Please make room for me in your judgmental boat! I was just having this conversation today at work. I don't want to date someone who's profile pictures are mostly of the dead animals you've killed or someone who has any thing like "***" "69" "luvr" or "sexi" in their name. I want the guy to be able to know the difference between "their" and "there".
Maybe the really judgmental thing is I don't want to date a guy with just a high school diploma. I'll have my masters degree this year and while I know plenty of people who are very intelligent with less than a high school diploma, but I want to be with someone who had the gumption to stick out school, you know?
P.S. Did you figure out what's up with your coworkers profile??
Totally agree with all of this.
He may have just liked the way he looked in that picture.
Keep in mind that a lot of the single men you will meet "out and about" will also have an online profile somewhere, so.....
I saw a lot of FAIL when I was online dating. So did my BFF (we were on there at the same time). We both found highly educated, mature, loving, cute boyfriends. They exist, just as highly educated, mature, loving, cute women exist. Our BFs have their own stories about the female profiles on dating sites - there's just as much FAIL there. It takes some time to weed through or wait for a good match to come along, but that's true in life in general.
It did seem like you're being pretty judgemental based on some of your answers. I recently went on two dates with someone who had an pic of themselves in a bathroom. he said that he had taken it at his company x-mas party because one of his co-workers wives had said "you should take a picture now because you look really good tonight". I didn't put too much thought into it. I mainly check their pics to see if they are attractive and if there's anything that would be suspicious or a dealbreaker about them (like the dude with the bottle of alcohol, or someone who's posing without a shirt on-eww).
As I was reading your post, it seemed to me like you just aren't ready to date. Maybe online dating isn't for you either, but it's something to consider. I am from a smaller area so maybe this factors into me being less judgemental. There simply aren't as many profiles to weed through.
I would probably be just as judgemental as you. But I don't think I'd have the nerve to do online dating to begin with. And I'd never do it out of fear of no one being interested in me--I've never believed I've been attractive or anything (luckily my husband thought so...which was a revelation to me!).
However, DH's best friend never dated anyone--he was too shy. Finally his mom or grandma or someone set up and account on one of these websites and made him go on a date. He ended up marrying a woman he met on there and they have a kid and a happy family life. Crazy!