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Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
WDYT? BR
We were talking about babies today at work and I said when the time comes I probably want to be 1 and done. A CW said it was selfish.
WDYT?
Re: WDYT? BR
I think each child/family/parent/dynamic is unique.
I thought for sure I was one and done.. and five months in I realized I needed another one - because it was what was best in our family.
Almost every other breeder I know should stick to one - because that's what is best for their family.
I think you can have an idea before you go into it, but things change once you meet the kid.
It's not selfish. Like ala said, every family is different.
My parents had my brother then 5 years later had me (although I think I was just a heat of passion baby lol). It works for our family and if one kid clicks for you and H if you have one, then so be it.
I've also noticed that people tend to throw out the "It's selfish!" argument whenever someone wants to do something other than what that person has done with their life.
It makes no sense.
PS - It's usually people who are completely miserable in their life/decisions because it isn't working for them. At all.
She wasn't being mean at all, we were just having a discussion.
My opinion on an only child is that 1) I love my siblings and 2) DH was an only child and said that he always wanted siblings - and therefore, we plan to have more than 1 kid, even if it means adopting. (We're not TTC at all right now, but in case things don't work out when we are TTC, we would be happy to adopt).
That being said, I know people that loved being an only child too. It is really what's best for the family.
I love you. This is so smart, and I respect it completely. Last night I caught up with an old friend who informed me about a couple I know/knew -- they are living with the wife's mother because the wife refuses to work/is a sahm and the husband works 20 hours a week at a movie theater because full time would be too much time away from his family. They have 2 kids under 3 y/o and it bothers me that they wanted kids but don't want the responsibility of paying for them themselves.
I don't think it's selfish at all, and I wouldn't judge a family one way or the other. Like Ala said, every family's dynamic and needs are different. What's best for one isn't for another.
I think there are certain things that should be taken into consideration, but that's true with any major life decision.
There was an interesting thread about this recently on the MM board. It showed the perspectives of people who have one child, people who were an only child, people with more than one kid, and people with siblings. As expected, everyone's opinions and reasons were different. It was interesting.
Basically every action could be considered selfish so I wouldnt pay attention to your coworker.
If you have one kid, then you have more time and money to spend on him/her. However, I have a brother and I really enjoyed growing up with a sibling and I think it will be nice to still have family when my parents are no longer here.
At the end of day, you should do what is best for your family.
Oh yeah, I've heard that too.
MH & I have made the same decision that we only want one together (but, he already has 2 DDs from his 1st marriage, there will likely be a 15 yr age difference though, so our child would be more like an only).
It is not selfish at all, I see it as I want to provinde well for one. Ya, its nice to have siblings to grow up with, but children can get social interaction from lots of places.
Oh, so very, very true.