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NER: I really, really want to hurt FI's cat right now
So... we have a bengal. Let me rephrase that...FI has a bengal. Bengals are a little bit crazy. And they're really one person cats. The bengal has decided it's FI's cat and only occasionally deigns to let me pet it.
About five minutes ago, bengal decides he's going to let me pet him; walks over and cuddles up on the couch with me and does the head rubbing thing. And then suddenly does this to my hand:
http://lh6.ggpht.com/_3jZthGuMyKU/SSSTeuVHHWI/AAAAAAAADu4/77YSmsdqcjA/s640/DSCN0617.JPG
So I do what the vet told us to do, I hold him down with both hands (gently but firmly) and repeatedly say "no" to assert authority over the ::insert expletive here:: kitty. Kitty finally stops struggling (which is when the vet says you can let them up) so I let him up. He starts to saunter away, then suddenly turns around AND ATTACKS MY NECK.
So now I have a ****-up hand that REALLY hurts and is bleeding quite profusely, and bites and scratches on my neck that don't feel all that great either. 
Seriously, I hate this cat. Really, really hate this cat.
::grumble::
Re: NER: I really, really want to hurt FI's cat right now
Yikes, I'm really sorry! My parents own two bengals, and they definitely have the capacity to be rambunctious. My mother, the world's biggest cat lover, spent the first six months of their lives (they are siblings and were acquired as kittens) emailing me to be on the lookout for a Fed Ex box from her containing two live animals.
How old is the cat? My parents' cats have definite mellowed with age.
He's a year and a half, so he should be mellowin. And he has...sort of. But every so often the wild side in him comes out, and since he doesn't view me as an authority figure, it comes out in him attacking me.
I'm sorry! We have three garden variety domestic shorthairs, and my hand has definitely looked like yours. I noticed a visible scratch on my chin today I didn't even know I had, nor do I know where it came from. They're all sweet, but they do forget themselves sometimes.
We love the squirt bottle around here.
Bunny,
So...yeah. Squirt bottles don't work around here. Because he's a bengals. Bengals LOVE water. As in Souter will jump into the shower with you love water.
::sigh::
I love bengals... I used to want one. They're so beautiful. I had no idea they were so crazy!
yeah - I wouldn't do that holding down thing. Chase him out of the room - sure. Vets are usually bad behaviorists I have to say
.FWIW, it sounds like your cat was playing - its a boy, right?
I 100% recommend you get him some soft paws. Your vet didn't recommend this?
http://www.softpaws.com/
Even if you don't go this route his claws still need to be clipped regularly.
So I do what the vet told us to do, I hold him down with both hands (gently but firmly) and repeatedly say "no" to assert authority over the ::insert expletive here:: kitty. Kitty finally stops struggling (which is when the vet says you can let them up) so I let him up. He starts to saunter away, then suddenly turns around AND ATTACKS MY NECK.
As a life-long cat owner, I'll throw in my $.02 and say that I think he vet is nuts--this tactic might work well on dogs, but cats just aren't wired that way.
We have a cat (not a bengal) who sometimes behaves that way--sweet and loving one second and mean the next--we think she's just nuts.
First I have to say that I think your vet is a little COO COO on the holding down thing. What you are doing by holding him down is freaking him out even more...he feels under attack and has no way to get out of the way. Loud noises (Like pennies in a tin can) usually work well on cats that like water. If he does something you dont like, shake the can REALLY fast and hard and startle him.
I also want to second the soft paws, they will be life savers! They wont protect against bites of course, but at least you wont be scratched up!
Eeek, sorry about your battle wounds! Glad the pet ladies were able to chime in with some advice. I tried soft paws and would definitely recommend them as well. I was using them for upholstery-preserving purposes, though, and found that a scratch pad works just as well so haven't reapplied them. But they worked fine and weren't too much of a PITA.
In fact, I have some extra if you want them. I don't think they're very expensive, but I won't use them and would be happy to send 'em to you.