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Flipping furious...(sorry for the vent)
So, I got an email from XH yesterday. He threatened legal action.
Why? In our mediation agreement, it says that communication regarding the sale of our home will be between him and I, via email only. However, I'm out of state, and had the listing agreement sent to my parents' house so that he would not get my address (abusive situation). Per my request, my mother scanned the papers in and emailed them to XH, with a note to sign them and scan them back in and then send them on to me. No big deal, right?
Wrong, apparently. He went on and on about how he's wanted to call but had resisted because he was honoring our agreement, and I needed to do the same or he'd file a complaint.
Seriously?! The entitlement in his email just left me floored. I emailed him back essentially telling him that him contacting me in any way via email or for any reason other than the house would result in me taking whatever measures I saw fit to protect myself. I BCCed my lawyer while I was at it.
I know he has no legal standing, but I'm just sick of dealing with him at all. I have a few PTS triggers, and dealing with his idiocy, and having him threaten to contact me is one of them.
GRRR!!!
/vent
ETA: In the mediation agreement, it also states that I can have papers sent directly to my parents' house in order to avoid giving him my address (we've had stalking issues in the past). My parents are permitted to forward said papers on to him at my request. This is exactly what happened.
Re: Flipping furious...(sorry for the vent)
I understand you're angry but why didn't your mother email that to you for you to email so him so that you'd be abiding by the terms of the agreement?
With men like that they will use any chance they can to get to you. By straying from the agreed upon terms, you gave him that ammo. Even if it's no big deal to you and he still got the information, you didn't do it according to the agreement. Honestly, if this info is between you and him, even if your mom helps you with the scanning, it should remain between you two. I would be pissed if my XH's family was privy to our personal matters.
Here's the trick, though. She knows jacksquat about the house, other than we're selling it.
Per my lawyer (which was also written in the mediation terms...love how he skipped over it), I could have papers regarding the sale of the house directed to my parents' home in order to protect my address/privacy, and they had the right to forward said papers on to him at my request. Which is what happened. I reminded him of this in my reply.
If it was in the terms of the agreement that they could send it then yes, he's a big flucking douchecanoe. That sucks.
It's something I'm considering.
You could be describing my STBXH to a T with this post. I would just do the best you can to follow your agreements, exactly, so that he doesn't have anything to say about your methods.
I am sure that he feels that the fewer people involved in your situation means the more control he has, which is why he freaked out. Make sure you let your lawyer know every time he contacts you, even if it's not something that pisses you off.
Go through your lawyer.
This is not your mom's lookout. He's an abusive rapist, right? Don't contact him, don't have anyone you know or love contact him; go through your lawyer. Lawyers have emails, they can do this. He will not threaten you through your lawyer.
Your lawyer can also write a snotty little 'don't contact her or else' letter.
I agree with this, even if you're within the bounds of your divorce agreement. Any perceived slight is going to set him off, so he may as well direct his venom towards someone who is emotionally removed from the situation and professionally trained to handle it. I had my XH send my alimony checks to my lawyer's office, which pissed him off, but I didn't lose any sleep over it. They also documented his doucheosity in case I needed to take him to court.