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Sammy0709 · January 2012

I'm being a post hog. DH is "deployed" but he's IMA so he's still in America training. They have liberty for a week pretty soon and I'd like to see him. Here's the issue, I promised my cousin in November that I would babysit for her during January and February. I would have to leave her hanging for a week to go see him so I figured a better option would be to take a few days not to put her out and renig on my promise. I wanted to take as many days as I could. DH is freaking out because I'm unwilling to take the whole week so how bad will I feel if he dies in Afghanistan and our relationship isn't important. I'm really upset and I'm not sure what to do.

I may DD later as a heads up.

DowagerCountessofNJ · January 2012

Can you talk to your cousin and be up front with her or offer to switch weeks with her?

Sammy0709 · January 2012

Sgt M's Wife:
Can you talk to your cousin and be up front with her or offer to switch weeks with her?

I did talk to her but it's really up to my grandma and whether she will take the days since she's the only person available.

kyrgyzstan · January 2012

It sounds like your DH is being a littttle bit of a baby. I mean, "How will you feel if I die in Afghanistan" is just a jerk thing to say, or a really scared thing to say.

Sammy0709 · January 2012

WishIcouldbeinthe'stan:
It sounds like your DH is being a littttle bit of a baby. I mean, "How will you feel if I die in Afghanistan" is just a jerk thing to say, or a really scared thing to say.

I kind of felt like that was an unfair thing to say. I just felt like a normal person would value any time since this doesn't usually happen.

kyrgyzstan · January 2012

Sammy0709:
WishIcouldbeinthe'stan:
It sounds like your DH is being a littttle bit of a baby. I mean, "How will you feel if I die in Afghanistan" is just a jerk thing to say, or a really scared thing to say.

I kind of felt like that was an unfair thing to say. I just felt like a normal person would value any time since this doesn't usually happen.

I agree. I think it's okay to say, "I'm disappointed, but I trust that you will do whatever you can to get as much time as possible" or whatever. But not that.

ggirl2001 · January 2012

Yeah, I don't do well with guilt tripping and that's kind of what your H did. I get what he's saying, but that's harsh and puts you in an awful spot, and makes you feel awful.

But, I get why you want to go so I would at least talk to your cousin and see what can be worked out. Your cousin might be understanding and willing to help you figure it out.

ETA: Duh, missed the part where you talked to your cousin. Well, I would at least try what you can, and get as many days as you can, if you can't, well you can't. Its not for lack of trying or doing it on purpose.

Sibil · January 2012

He's being ridiculous and, frankly, manipulative. That treatment would not fly with me. Whether you get a couple days or the whole week, it's never enough time, so it seems arbitrary to be pissed that he's missing a couple extra days.

kristend33 · January 2012

That's a really gross thing for him to say. You're going to see him, it just won't be for the entire week, right? You're doing what you can to get more time, but he needs to understand that you have other obligations. Unfortunately, life gets in the way sometimes.

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