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Urgent advice about MIL!!
Here is the story: I got married to a guy from another country, we moved in to europe. His parents offered to rent us an apartment, that happens to be on top of theirs, we signed a lease for 3 years, and its been just one.
I thought it was a good idea at the begining, because I didnt knew anybody here, and they seemed friendly. But now, they want to know every small detail about me, like where we go, for how long, who came to visit... (please note that before we moved in here, we used to live in mexico and had no contact with them)
Now my MIL is angry because I dont share each minute of my day with her, because I simply don't want. I thought we got alone well, but after spending the hollidays in Mexico she does not talk to me anymore. Please note that this is a very uncomfortable situation because we live in the same building, we run in to each other each day, and Im pregnant. I wished she'd care a little bit about the baby at least, and that makes me really sad. I need some advice!!!
Re: Urgent advice about MIL!!
She's not entitled to know everything about your life. Share what you feel comfortable sharing and keep mum about the rest. Don't apologize or make any explanations.
If she gets mad, pouts or gives you the silent treatment then that's her problem. Not yours. Be polite to her but don't bend over backward to try and appease her. Don't beg for forgiveness of be her doormat. And your husband needs to back you up 100%.
That being said, this is par for the course when you rent a home from family members. She may think that you guys owe her since she's putting a roof over your heads. Consider finding another place to live.
It's also normal and expected in some cultures for parents to be heavily involved in their adult children's lives. Did your husband talk to you about this before you hot married? Did you meet his family before the wedding?
What is your husband saying/doing about your current situation?
Move.
This. Exactly. Be polite, don't give her any reasonable reason to have issue with you, but stand your ground and maintain your boundaries. She is adjusting to the marriage just like you are. It will take time for that middle ground to develop.
Why are there never any comments on the h's?
What does your H say about the situation?
that apartment didn't just happen to be over their's...it's like you said "I signed the lease and paid the rent, so where is the wonderful place you showed me pictures of"
you MOVED IN TO THE APARTMENT ABOVE them
take responsibility for your decision...hindsight is 20/20 but some of this was predictable and preventable