Military Nesties
Dear Community,
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
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Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Sad and at a loss
Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of my brothers death to heart disease. I am torn between wanting to be with my mother and siblings and here with DH. He has an important meeting tomorrow and I feel like he needs my support. I am beside myself. I have been crying for a couple weeks wishing that I could just sleep through tomorrow. I try not to show how sad I am to my H or mother because it upsets them. Holding all this in is killing me. I know I need to see a therapist but my doctor is slow about making this happen. I am at a complete loss for what to do. Sorry for my pitty party for one. I feel alittle better saying something. I will probably DD this later.
Re: Sad and at a loss
Your doc doesn't need to have anything to do with you getting a counselor.
Call Mil One Source.
1.800.342.9647
They're 24/7.
In addition to military one source, which is great for short term and immediate needs, TriCare allows patients to self-refer for mental health to any of their providers (Psychiatrist, Psychologist or Licensed Therapist). A patient is allowed 6 (possibly 8?) self-referred appointments per fiscal year; if the provider feels more appointments are necessary, they can file for the additional referral.
ETA: LINK
Oh hon, I'm so very sorry. I lost 2 brothers in 06 and while I have made piece with one of them, I just haven't found it with the other one. He was by best friend and big brother and it still devastates me that he isn't here.
Please take the advice of the pp's. Call and get the ball rolling. Military One can be a God send. Also - this is one of those things where your DH needs to be the one who is waiting in the wings for you to cry with or laugh with or just remember with. While it probably upsets him to see you upset, I'm guessing he wants to be the guy standing right beside you in this. Don't hold it in with him.
Also, some guys don 't know how to just listen to us. They are the problem solver. This can't be fixed, it can just be supported. My DH still has his dad (80 and kicking) and all 6 of his siblings. The only loss he has ever had was his mom in 2001. The poor man has no idea how to really comfort me because he can't fix this. I finally told him to stay quiet, sit next to me and let me cry and talk about my brother.
Tuck that last little bit of info away in case you need it. If a guy can't solve your problem they don't know what to do with it.
Big hugs to you hun. Please call Military One so you can find some peace here.
I'm so sorry for your loss
. Ditto the self-referral and mil one source. I just wanted to add that it's okay and completely understandable for you to be sad and to grieve. Even though your husband has something going on tomorrow, he should also be there to support you in your time of need. Maybe take some time for yourself tomorrow if you feel like you need it, and lean on your husband if you need to.
Many many hugs to you sweetie.
This. I lost my Mom in 2010 and although it gets better it still hurts and is hard. I tend to think I'm doing fine with it and then will have a day like today, were something that I don't think is going to make me miss her does. E is learning, as am I the triggers of what makes me miss her and how I act before a big melt down. Your H wants to help you but I just think he's not sure how. Tell him you just need an ear to listen, even if you aren't making much sense. Someone to talk you through this and just lend you an ear. He'll be there for you.
And yes I agree contact Military One Source and get the ball rolling.
Hugs Sweetie.