Our tech team has launched updates to The Nest today. As a result of these updates, members of the Nest Community will need to change their password in order to continue participating in the community. In addition, The Nest community member's avatars will be replaced with generic default avatars. If you wish to revert to your original avatar, you will need to re-upload it via The Nest.
If you have questions about this, please email help@theknot.com.
Thank you.
Note: This only affects The Nest's community members and will not affect members on The Bump or The Knot.
Alright moms of 2+, reassure me.
I feel terrible even admitting this to anyone but DH but you girls understand I'm sure.
Everyone keeps asking me if I'm excited about the babies coming soon and I just can't be. I know a lot of it is the situation. I'm scared they'll be sick. I'm scared of the c/s. I'm scared of being sent home to continue BR only to have something happen, etc. But even with all of that, I just cannot picture having 2 new babies. I don't know how I'm going to take care of a toddler and 2 newborns. I don't know how I'm possibly going to be able to bond with 2 newborns. I don't know how I will manage to love 2 more kids as much as I love Nolan. All of that and I'm also worried about how Nolan is going to handle it.
I'm sure this is normal... but reassure me anyway. It'll be okay, yes?
Re: Alright moms of 2+, reassure me.
I obviously don't have two yet, but you are a great mom and I am sure that although it seems daunting at first, you will make it work. The moms that I know with more than one child tell me that the heart, although you don't think it is possible, grows to be able to love each and every child just as much.
The obvious things you stated are true... there's no way around the fact that you will be crunched for time and spread a little thin at first. But you will learn to navigate it very quickly, and before you know it, you won't remember what life was like before they were here. You just have to have a little faith in yourself. Thinking of you.
I'm not going to lie, it is going to be a LOT of work taking care of 2 newborns plus a toddler. It's tough at times for me, and I only have 1 newborn!
That being said, my mantra is "one day at a time". Just focus on one day at a time, one hour at a time, and you will get through it just fine. Once everyone is in a routine, it will get even better.
I make a big deal about Jack being the "big brother" and helping me and he LOVES his "brudder Cawta". I also make sure to give Jack a lot of attention so that he doesn't feel like Carter is more important than him. So far, so good. I'm sure Nolan will be the same way.
As for the bonding, I find that the best times for Carter and I is in the middle of the night. It's tough to get good bonding time in when Tornado Jack is running around, but those quiet moments when Carter and I are the only ones awake are the best.
It will be ok. One day at a time
I obviously don't have two but another way to look at it is only one kid that anyone will ever have, the oldest, will be an 'only'. I mean, you can't possibly do for the girls all that you did for Nolan. It's just not possible. I think it's OK to cut yourself some slack for it - you know?
I am the 4th of 5 and I can assure you that I have no memory of being 'looked over' for my 2 years younger than I younger brother or dragged along to god-knows-what as a child with my older siblings but I am sure I was.
Will you be busy and overwhelmed. Uh, yea! But, like Katie said, one day at a time....
Thanks guys, this helps.
I sent D home for stuff (since we came with nothing) and he asked if I wanted him to bring anything for the babies and I said no. It's just SO opposite of how I was with Nolan. I had his baby book (haven't even bought them one yet), outfits, blankets, etc. This time it's like I'm afraid to get excited or something.
Blah. Hopefully we can make it another week and then I'll start to feel a little more optimistic.
Our crazy, wonderful life
I agree with Katie's one day (hour) at a time mantra. It is going to be difficult at times, but so worth it at others. When you see N trying to play with his sisters, or being a helpful big brother, it will warm your heart.
I also felt like I was not really excited about Cori, and she wasn't early with all the other concerns you're facing. I threw two outfits into the hospital bag, and had no idea which ones they were, just the sizes. I didn't really care. I think a big part of it isn't that you don't care as much, but you've been through it before, and know what is really important this time, not their outfit or baby book, but the snuggles, holding them, etc.
Also, Cori is such a better sleeper than Alex. Just wanted to let you know after all you've been through with N, they won't all be just like him on everything. Alex and Cori are already such opposites, it's amazing.
Everything scared me too and obviously 15 months later I'm surviving. Honestly, sometimes I feel like I am sinking with working full time and taking care of them.
Also being honest, I did not feel a strong bond to the babies in the beginning. Yes I loved them, but didn't feel that instant connection. Even now DH and I agree we still feel way more bonded with Abby.. it could be because we had just her to bond with first and now she is older and has a real personality so she is more of a person. I hope that makes sense.
I won't lie, it is hard. It's exhausting, both babies will be crying and Nolan will also be throwing a fit. This happened to me many times. I would just sit and look at my situation and think, WTH! But then eventually everything would calm down.
Luckily my girls have always been good sleepers and were STTN at 4 months. If that didn't happen I can't imagine how miserable I would have been. I also didn't nurse the twins so other people could help with the feedings and sometimes DH would do both night feedings.
Those sleepless nights are a fast distant memory for me and now all I see is happy, laughing girls who love to play! Abby adores her sisters and loves to play with them. Things are still challenging because they are into everything, so what is hard just changes as they age. You will survive, I promise.... you might be exhausted though :-)
Cut the Crap - Weight loss journey of a Few Fat Chicks
This exactly!
I was also worried about how Marshall would react when we brought Elizabeth home...would he be jealous or whatever. Honestly, it didn't seem like Marshall was affected at all. He pretty much ignored her (and not in a bad way), it's just that she didn't really change his world, if that makes sense!
The other advice I have is to not worry about things that you can't do anything about right now. I know that is easier said than done! It will all work out in the end...your life will be entirely different, but it will be so much fuller with 2 little girls to love on!
It can be done! I have a friend with 4 kids ages 4, 2, and 9 months. Two boys (the older ones, and the two youngest 9 month girls)
I can say she had a lot of help the first month or two. She had the oldest in daycare when the twins were born and just recently put the other boy in daycare. She works part time in the evenings during the weeks and on Sunday.
I can honestly say somedays I have no clue how she does it! I tell Dh all the time I am a single Mommy at night. (He works 3-12 shift) I just keep on doing what I do, Church, grovery shopping, Dr. appointments, ect.
I would just say we are all a little fuzzy those first few weeks, take lots of pictures!!! C-sections aren't as bad as they sound. I can say knowing ahead of time that you are going to have one does help. You will be sore, just keep up on those pain killers!
Spend one on one time with Nolan. We do this with both the kids still and will continue to. Even if it is just a simple errand that needs to be done. Dh will take Charlie and they will have some Daddy/Son time.
Before you know it you will look back on today and think what I was I so worried about. Everything will be fine!
Our crazy, wonderful life
My boring blog